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Author Topic: The Journal of Pheroth Dusdrassius  (Read 7141 times)

Calabask

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The Journal of Pheroth Dusdrassius
« on: June 23, 2018, 02:43:52 am »
"They both called me half breed. This one called me son... I am no son of a demon. My blood may be tainted but it is NOT THAT ]POLLUTED!... ...It doesn't matter anyway... I know what I am going to do. I will be the beginning, and I will make it end. I will make it /ALL/ end. And then... We can begin anew."
« Last Edit: June 23, 2018, 02:46:36 am by Calabask »

Calabask

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Re: The Journal of Pheroth Dusdrassius
« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2018, 04:48:44 am »
"...He spoke to me again... He speaks to me now.. Well, laughs... Did I fall into a trap? ...I don't know... The blade, I don't know where they found it, but through it he spoke to me. Through it I could feel the hatred of the abyss boring through me trying to rival my hatred for it, and surpass it. But that, at least it did not do... The blade spoke to others. Compelled them, and while I felt no compulsion to own the blade I could feel it, see it. I could track it as they could. ...I will not let his taint spread to others. I would not. I resolved myself to destroying the blade and doing what I needed to be done in order to bring an end to him, and the rest... To that end, I got hold of it, and was brought up by others after being brought down by more people. All trying to get their hands of the blade for their own reasons. Some by compulsion, some for selfish reasons, and some to destroy it in some presumeably longwinded fashion. I knew how to destroy it. I saw how to destroy it once I got into Manus's mine... Lava.  We eventually got to the lava, and I tried to let go of the blade while keeping hold of the energy.... But I failed..  I couldn't let it go...

Try as I might, I could not let it go despite my desire to. I heard the whispers. Whose, I do not know.. Were they his? Were they of the Abyss? Or that of the blade? They asked me why I should destroy it. Said I could use it to kill him. That it would make me more powerful. And then I heard his voice telling me to seize my destiny. I have heard those words uttered several times since I came here. I am the forger of my own destiny. And I know what my mission is and I will not be dissuaded. If some would wish to empower me to see me try to change they will only find their destruction in the end. This I swear. Nothing will stop what I will set in motion and every life snuffed out will be made right...

Still, perhaps I did make a mistake.. Now when I go to sleep I can hear his laugh. When I look to my hand I can see what he branded into my skin... I can see now he is trying to guide me, or herd me. But I will not be led. I am the master of my fate. NOT HIM."

Calabask

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Re: The Journal of Pheroth Dusdrassius
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2018, 03:07:03 pm »
"Either the demons are serious, or they are lying. A new fiend was met tonight, another one bound by the Gnolls. A powerful one. This one claimed to be my uncle. But was it though? Maybe it was another demon making light of the fact that one of the demons in Skarbrands service claims to be my father. Maybe it intended to torment me or rile me. If those were its goals... It succeeded. I hate it. I hate them all. I tried to absorb it, bring its campaign of terror to the end, but it was too strong at first... The others attacked it. And I joined in as well seeking to end it it by absorbing it and waiting for a chance when it was weaker to do so. Something was wrong though. The creature was bound to this plane in some way I've not seen before. It exploded in a massive eruption of power similar to the first creature I witnessed on this prime summoned by the gnolls. I could sense now that the magic binding it here and it's strength had been diminished to a degree. I had to be careful in trying to absorb the creature... I tried... ..I failed.. I should have tried extending the duration, formed a better connection. Something I will do next time.

Despite my attempt to simply "Be careful." I was unsuccessful, as I said, I should have tried drawing it over time instead of all at once... Regardless, some of its energy came into me, as the pit fiend turned on me angrily. Try as I might to stay on my feet to try again, the energy wracked my body painfully and I fell to the floor, unable to move, and unable to act... It was unbearable. I have never felt such physical pain and do not long to again in the future. I don't know what I got from the fiend, but something from it has stuck with me... ...I can feel it teetering on the edges of my psyche.. Trying to influence my thoughts, like Trent's demon tries to do him. I find myself some times seeing the foul creatures as friends.. FRIENDS!"


The page seems to be torn a bit here as if it the quill point were dragged across it and the next few lines in rage before his writing begins again, the words darker and somewhat jagged as if he were writing angrily, and frantically, grinding the quill point into the parchment.

"THEY ARE NOT MY FRIENDS. THEY ARE NOT MY FRIENDS. THEY ARE NOT MY FRIENDS! THEY ARE NOT MY FRIENDS! THEY WILL NEVER BE MY FRIENDS! I WILL NOT LET THIS THING AND THESE CREATURES INFLUENCE ME! I WILL NOT FORGIVE THEM FOR WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO ME! OR TO OTHERS! I WILL END THEM ALL AND USE THEM AS THEY WOULD USE US AND I WILL USE THEIR POWER TO BRING AN END TO THEIR KIND...! ...I will not succumb to their machinations.. ..I will not be turned... I will rise.. /I WILL USE THEM AS THEY WOULD US!/.... And then.. ...I will use that to help me bring an end to them... And the others of their kind.. I will see peace brought about. I will see justice done.[/I]

..I will attempt to go into my mind if I can... See if I can bring an end to these rogue thoughts.. See if I can find their source and bring it into line.. I will not go quietly into the night. I will bring it to an end and then move forward... I will move forward... I will move forward... I will...

Calabask

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Re: The Journal of Pheroth Dusdrassius
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2018, 09:45:48 pm »
"It is worse than I thought.. The demon seems tied to me. That and others. Perhaps it is the energy making manifestations inside of my soul, or perhaps it has always been there. I delved into myself.. And inside I saw the raging inferno of my inner self. The hate.. The anger.. The pain... The Abyss, they were all there. The powers of this multiverse would condemn me. Try to dissuade me from my path but I will not allow them. I ask though, is my path my own? Is it mine? Or is it that of the Abyss? The creature claiming to be my father laughed at me. As it always does, trying to mock me, and make me falter in my path saying I can't do what I wish, and more worryingly, that what I wish is because of the tainted blood that is within me. What are the lies and what is the truth?

The demon and the other demons I saw within myself claim I am of them, if I am of them then am I not a full demon? Did something happen to my mother. My mother was human! Wasn't she? I knew her as a human, so did the others. But what if she only appeared to be? Could these marks that cover me be a lock to keep my heritage secret? Where do I belong?.. There is so much confusion.. But I must remain on my path.

The page is messed up here. Words scribbled out, and the page becoming rough as if he were trying to force something to be written before finally they flow again.

I CHOOSE WHO I AM! NOT THEM! I AM WHO I SERVE! NOT HIM! That bastard dared to try to control me. Tried to make me kneel! But I showed him! I showed him I am stronger than he believes! He tried to say I could not absorb him or the others. That it was him and them allowing me to believe I could. I felt my "uncle" be wounded. I felt his WEAKNESS! I will fight! I will absorb and end them all! I WILL SHOW THEM WHO IS THE SLAVE AND WHO IS THE MASTER! Father, if you wanted me. Then I hope you are ready. My NAME, is Abyssal for Reckoning, AND IT IS YOU AND THE ENTIRE ABYSS I COME FOR!"

Calabask

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Re: The Journal of Pheroth Dusdrassius
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2018, 09:32:52 pm »
"It is ironic that this may be my last entry. Since I last wrote in this book I have found a son again, after having lost my first along with his mother to those creatures on Lomyria. His name is Trent, a human who had a Balor implanted inside of him. He is sixteen, physically, but mentally he is a child. He arrived first in Hadrian confused, and scarred. He believed himself to be human but bared horns atop his head and a tail. He did not realize who he was, and what he was now, and neither did I. He was naked. And frightened. I took him under my wing and brought him to a tailor's shop and gave him some gold, having seen how some react to my kind here, having thought him to be another Tiefling. I was unsure of his story, but I directed him to the Swords for safety and help, as I felt they would do right by him.

He trained with them, tried his best to be one of them and was taken in by those who lived within Hadrian in his order. They tried to help him with the creature embedded within him, in literally all the worst ways possible. Every. Single. Thing. Every single thing they did made him take more of a demonic appearance and spurred the demons strength faster. And faster. Snacks, someone whom I had thought was a good man, threatened to murder him, even if it would send him to the Abyss with the demon. He claims he wouldn't have killed Trent. But then, no less than a day ago, he and someone I considered a loose ally murdered me in cold blood.

Stiil, despite these changes Trent tried to do the right thing, and maintain his grip on his humanity, and then when he was brought to the Keep of Selune who preaches tolerance, they all stood by and watched him be stripped of his uniform, and armor, as he was kicked out of the swords. None there stood to defend him. None there stood to fight there leaders or question them. None of them tried to put a stop to it. Perhaps "Sheep" is a better word for the Swords.

They proclaim that they stand for good, but they let evil run rampant in their sight. Cashand, Nica, Edulis. All know their crimes. All know they are evil. Yet it seems that the swords enjoy them and would forsake their souls, vows, and ideals rather than deal with those people. Snacks apparently threw gems at Nica, showering her in them despite her many crimes, that he has continually ignored. Edulis most have known has been poisoning the city for weeks, the food supply, the water, murdering citiizens of the city within it's territory, attack others within it's territory and within the city itself. But they ignore it.

Instead they choose to go after me, and conspire with them to murder me and try to kill me. Because I've called them out on their actions. Snacks and other swords participating in the Arena and murdering slaves for baubles. Real heroic. At least Raul had the good sense to leave. When Aquaria was sentenced to die by Nica they did nothing. Instead she had to find a way to free herself making a deal with someone to fake the death of Lushen and transfer his soul, or alter his body into Marcus. Then when Celebrithrade became the Queen of Crimson and began genocidal campaigns and working with Nica, I warned them of Cele's change of behavior and told them she was enspelled. Same with Raul whose own actions and demneanor changed in a matter of a few days. Nothing was done. I was ignored. As I always have been. Those who stand idly by and watch do nothing to help the oppressed, they only encourage the oppressor. Because why should the oppressor change if noone will do anything about them.

But I digress, I have gone on a tangent. After Trent was kicked out, I stood with him, and as I had done the first night we met, I reminded him again and again that he is the one who chooses who he is. Not the thing inside of him. Not those around him. /Him/. Still the swords tried to excise the demon by encouraging it to overpower him more by hurting him, or getting him drunk. Things that sped his transformation on. Then, Celebrithrade wanted to conduct a ritual to try and banish the demon, Trent choose to take it's side. The pain inflicted upon him and the constant betrayls of trust by the swords were too much, even I could not reach him. He and the demon laid low everyone. But then spared us, with Trent embracing the demon now. I tried to reach him still, and convince him this was not the way. That he didn't need the demon. But it was too late.

Trent and everyone returned back to Hadrian, I still befriended him, choosing not to abandon him, and then he was abandoned completely by the swords and forced onto the street. /A CHILD/. I took his hand and we choose to make a new house. One where our kind would be safe. That evening we bought the house I sit in now, before the altar to his god. Writing this and praying. We bonded quickly, and called each other brother. We had been doing it for a while and I meant it when I said it to him, and he to me. I helped guide him, tried to build him up. Then,we decided to make a home in Sullivans, or scout out a place there, in case things in the election went badly as xenophobia took hold of the citizens of the city.

I should have watched him more closely. I should have been with him. But I didn't expect him to do what he did. Or be forced into doing what he did. He was to see about what it would take to take ownership of a home, but then I came back to find him covered in blood, a wanted fugitive in Hadrian, and scarred all the more. I took him into my enbrace and comforted him. He is a child still, and was pressured.. I can see why he made the mistake he did, but did not abandon him. I would not. He was family to me.

Two days later he would turn himself in. On the same day I took him in as a son. I left the decision up to him, to not force him down a bath, but to try to guide him, and show him a better way. I thought his punishment might be whipping at most, I hope they would see the promising smith and asset that I saw, but Dukaruss only saw a monster, and mutilated him because of it. They cut off his horns. They cut off his tail. They broke his ribs. And all around people stood. Cheering, calling for more. The adventurers themselves, sitting on the sidelines not moving a finger to stop it. I wished to put an end to it as soon as it had begun, but I knew if I interfered it would only be worse, and they would potentially kill him. It is why the only time I stepped in was after the guard was done and said for others to beat him. I took a stand in front of him, ready to fight any who would try it... Thankfully, noone came.
I would be the next to be victimized by the mob justice of Hadrian. Reschotti put a bounty on me, and then Nikita along with Cashand and Nica tried to kill me to bring me into Reschotti. The guards? They did nothing. They allowed it to happen. Called me "Demon Blood." and just allowed everything. I was then put in stocks in front of the Coin and was mutilated as well. My crime? Telling people the Truth about Reschotti.

The truth. The truth seems to be the greatest crime and evil within the adventuring populace of Hadrian. All they want is glory for mindless killing and to not think about their actions. They want baubles and prizes instead of doing something good just for the sake of it. They abandon children, and shove them into the dark, and attack others who would shine the light on them and their own misdoings. It is the crime I am to be tried for. For daring to bruise the egos and consciouses of knights who would murder slaves who have no choice but to fight or die. Of knights who would shove a child out of the light at the slightest bit of darkness, darkness they themselves helped to make! Of knights who would choose to kill this child rather than believe in the dogma of their own goddess and practice it! Of Wizards who do evil for their own benefit. Wizards who would crash a city of people upon another city of people to wipe out a foe where such may be needed. Of adventurers who would sit idly by and let people die day after day to poison being spread by someone they know, who threatens the public, and seeks to take lands from the very nation some of them portend to be loyal to. Of adventurers who would let a manifestation of negative energy kill people day in and day out and do absolutely nothing about it because it doesn't affect them directly. Of Adventurers who would judge those who did do something about it. Of adventurers who lack the resolve to do anything but to try to make the thing that casts light upon their sins, and that lack of resolve. Of adventurers who can't see what is front of their faces when one absorbs the energy of an enemy to use it against them.

And so it is, that because I tell the truth, and take action against that which would harm others that I am to be tried. It is because of this I sit here, wondering, and waiting, before the shrine of my childs god to see if perhaps he will take me in and break the chains on me put in place by Reschotti and the other and set me free and take me on as a priest, knowing well that in the end I would need to bring an end to him as well. Or if perhaps my own Patron might do something. Something I very much doubt. Our relationship was a tumultuous one of using each other, and given their nature, I imagine that relationship has been ended. My other hope is that some other deity, perhaps one unknown to me makes their presence clear and chooses to bring me into it's fold despite knowing of my intentions. Despite knowing what I need to do to bring everything to peace.

The gods took my family once before. And it seems once again, they will take me from my family just as I have found it again. There is no end to the cruelty of the gods and powers of the multiverse it would seem. But maybe I will be proven wrong. There is only a little bit of time left, and I will use that time to sit here and pray, and talk, with my son."
« Last Edit: July 08, 2018, 09:35:14 pm by Calabask »

Calabask

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Re: The Journal of Pheroth Dusdrassius
« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2018, 10:29:07 pm »
"It has been a few days since the Trial. It went, well, better than I expected to. No charges were followed up on, as they were false to begin with. Aside from the Nica thing, though the Amauntor priest seemed to care little for lives that were ended and brought back. This world and it's priests are more corrupt than I believed and now I wonder if I ever knew Amauntor at all. The very thought that I was wrong, and that I continue to be right makes me all the more wanting to continue with my quest and free this multiverse from the disease that contaminates everything in it. Despite no evidence found against me, the Amauntori priest felt that Snacks saying my intentions were a threat were enough to ordain that I should have to go under a Rite of Cleansing to remove the energy I have taken. That energy, and the strength it gives me, /IS NOT THEIRS TO TAKE/. But should I expect anything but ignorance from most of the people here? No. I should not. For now, my son and I continue to make our home at our sanctuary, especially now that the collar is removed. The trial was amusing though, and seeing so many accusers being sent away. And then watching the crowd after they found out I had told the truth about Cashand stealing souls from the ritual Cele was producing? Oh, it was all I could do to contain my urge to laugh and dance. It was a glorious thing to see.

Regardless, things haven't been all rosey since the trial. Rod came about and made it seem like people should be fine with being murdered, that they should not seek retribution, and should just be happy to be alive. The notion is ridiculous and my response to him, and threatening to see about bringing to Sullivans guards to kill him seemed to stress Trent to the point he passed out, after all the stress he had been under already. We've only gone one day without some incident harming him or bringing him distress, and unfortunately that was yesterday. I was hoping we'd be able to go two days without incident, but that has yet to happen. I will try the next two days. Regardless, between Rod, and how Dukaruss treating Trent poorly I wonder if I want to even become mayor of that city, or even help it any longer. It will turn to dust regardless, why bother trying when it brings nothing but pain to my son? Why help those who would forsake me and try to get me murdered?

I shouldn't. Instead I will do my own thing and see to the acceleration of my plans. The adventurers here don't want to care about me? Fine. I will show them no more courtesy before the rebirth. The only thing that makes me even consider helping them is my son, without him, there is no telling what I would do. He keeps me from perhaps going too far.

Things are still more complicated than I'd have liked them to be. I still am granted divine power, but I know not who gives it. They have not made themselves known to me. I wear my sons Holy symbol for now, but will Assuran still accept me knowing that in the end he will have to be laid low as well? Is there some other power out there giving me power? Or is something else happening? I don't know. I find myself mired in confusion now. Skarbrands defeat granted me no answers. I know not who my parents are, or what my heritage is. I wonder... Should I try to find a way to Lomyria once more and see if I can find some answers there as to who I am? Can I still go there? Or is the planet just dust in the cosmos? I don't know.

What I do know is that I have another who would try to call themself master of me. It is one of many, though this one saw fit to hurt and threaten the life of my son, and so he will be the first I destroy. I will not be anyones slave, and my son is not to be threatened or harmed. Those who do any of those things should do so at their own peril. I will not show the people responsible for any of my families suffering any mercy. Not Amauntor. Not my father. Not this new creature that someone unleashed. Noone will survive my reckoning."

Calabask

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Re: The Journal of Pheroth Dusdrassius
« Reply #6 on: July 23, 2018, 04:10:43 pm »
"It has been some days since I have written here. I have been meaning to, but I have forgotten. Things have picked up a bit. Trent has chosen a new path, one I hope that will bring him the happiness he so deserves. I also was able to fix the issue with his life force with his help, so that is another matter dealt with. The election now is in full swing, and I honestly have no idea who will win. I do doubt I will be picked. I am a monster after all. That is what some believe. We will see what happens. Other than that, I have a new issue to deal with, one that I anticipated would come to a head eventually but not as soon as it did. Apparently someone else feels I'm not a good listener when it comes to doing things they want me to do. I will deal with it, and find a way to resolve the matter.

Once that matter is dealt with, I hope to find out whom is empowering me yet, and why they are, or if I have just found a way to wield divine power on my own now with all the experimentation I've done. It should be interesting to see what it is. I do not need a god, nor do I need planar beings. I need not be a slave to another and will not. I will find my own path. My other paths of research are going well, and a few of my theories have gained some amount of clarity and weight to them to validate them. I am not done yet though, there is still more to learn on all of these topics and hope they will be worth something in the end."
« Last Edit: July 23, 2018, 04:14:08 pm by Calabask »