[SteelsSweets]

On the move again mother.

It is so extremely frustrating. I had to leave so quickly that I was not able to bring anything with me except what I had on.

Why is this the fate of our line? Why can we not find a home?

I still strive, mother. I still seek a place to call home where I can form our house and maybe even open a shrine or temple in the name of the Maiden.

I am headed toward a land I have heard about. We will see if home can be found there.

I left word for Saul and the others. I do hope they can join me. It will be lonely starting over by myself.

I will keep eye out for signs from the Maiden. Perhaps she will bless me on my travels.

[SteelsSweets]

Found these when I was going through the pouch I had on me when I left.

I wish I had more of it.

A few pages are added that have been written in someone else's handwriting.

The Mistari Memoirs

How did I come to be? I suppose that is a rather interesting tale.

To understand that, one must understand the underdark and the houses of drow. If you do not know about those, then I suggest you learn then come back.

Now then, where did Mistress Mistari first draw breath? Let us venture back to before my conception to the woman who would birth me.

She was a female drow. Lower than the low. Houseless and worthless.

During a raid one cycle she was captured by the males of a house and set to be sacrificed in the next ritual to Lolth. Seeing as you know all about drow society, you know that sacrificing a female drow to Lolth is one of the greatest rituals that can be performed. Only surpassed by sacrificing a female drow priestess.

My birth vessel was so pathetic that she did not accept the honor of her life being taken for the Spider Queen. No. She begged and pleaded with the Matron of the house to spare her life and take her into the house as a member.

Oh, the Matron found this amusing. She granted the request on one condition. She was still to be sacrificed but the demon they summoned to take the blood for the Queen would hold her fate in his claws.

You see, if she could convince or seduce the demon to mate with her and not kill her she could live. But only if the coupling produced a child and then only if that child was female.

The cycle arrived and she was chained to the altar. The ritual began and summoned forth the creature.

There are some rumors that the ritual did not go quite as planned. A magical darkness, darker than drow eyes could pierce, filled the chamber and no one could clearly see the being that came for the sacrifice.

All heard the sounds of the coupling and as the darkness lifted the being vanished and the female was left on the altar, bloody and broken yet living.

She was removed and eventually found to be with child. The Matron was true to her word, which is rare, and allowed her to live as one of the household until birth.

Upon birthing me, she was granted a low rank in the house and allowed to serve the Matron and everyone else. She got her wish.

As I grew, I spent more and more time with the Matron. I was her pet. Yet, not in a doting way. I was her entertainment. Pain and torture were given to me for her amusement. I was not full drow so I held a rank in the house equal to or lower than even my birth wench.

As I grew, my birth wench soon learned I was not as she expected. I understood and could speak Infernal. She quickly taught me Abyssal and warned me not to speak the Infernal around house members. I also abhorred the practices of the drow houses. The back stabbing of the males. The constant lies and treachery that was just expected from everyone from the Matron down.

It was chaos. One day would see me pampered the next strung up for the amusement of others.

I had precious little time to myself but when I did I would visit the slave pits. I enjoyed watching them work and observing their punishments and corrections.

There was one slave that caught my eye. His blood smelled wonderful when he was lashed and the sounds he made after they broke him were exquisite.

I kept visiting. I could not keep myself hidden from him, it seems. He started smelling me when I was near and looking for me.

Finally, one cycle I had had enough. I was strong enough to survive and I had no more need for the house, the Matron or the bitch.

I waited until the house was busy with a celebration and I went to the room I was forced to share with my life giver to gather my things. She caught me and I had to lay her low. To this day I do not know if she survived.

I ran. The house bells were soon sounding and I had little time yet I stopped by the slave pens and used what little bit of clout I had being the Matron's pet to claim the one I had found.

His name was Able. He was a male with an interesting birth story as well but that is not mine to tell.

We both ran and spent years looking for a new home. We would find one, set down roots, start to grow a house and then something would happen and we would have to run again.

There is one place though that I left my mark before having to flee. A shame they ran me out. I doubt they ever found a way to fix my curse.

Able and I had arrived at a small town near the larger city of Harrowport.

This tiny town, I have even forgotten it's name, did not allow us entry. They forced us to get back on the boat and continue the sailing to Harrowport.

Because of that inhospitality I plotted revenge.

After gathering new house members I worked to curse those who wronged me.

Their favorite son, nephew of the town's regent, was set to wed. It was a perfect opportunity.

I am not overly cruel. I did allow the couple to wed and have their ceremony but at the reception I arranged for a distraction using a hin while none other than the groom's father poured the cursed wine for all at the head table.

Upon the toast and certain words spoken by the father, all at the table turned in to ooze. The lowly disgusting creatures they truly were.

Oh, it was beautiful. Able and I were trees at the reception. Quite a handy spell that was.

While I do not enjoy chaos, I admit to enjoying watching that.

I do wonder if there are any baby oozes yet.

There was another small town near that had a temple to the Maiden of Pain. It was not nearly as grand as some I have seen but it was sufficient.

It was in that town, that temple, that my daughter arrived. I do not mean I gave birth, I mean she quite literally arrived.

The house had gathered to witness the ceremony naming Able as First Male. It was a ritual charged with blood magic.

I was lucky to have a clergy of the faith there for, as the ritual goes, I had to whip him to death and then I in turn was whipped to near death as I lay upon his body.

The Willing Whip was pleased and brought him back to us, thus binding him to me as First Male. A title he had won the right to do the ritual for after fighting another member of the house, a drow male named Sid.

After that was done, she revealed herself. We were not immediately convinced but over time she proved herself to be the daughter of myself and Able.

She said she knew little of what happened to bring her here. She was with us, in the future or another reality, and the house was under siege. We used powerful magics to link to this point in time and shoved her through. This time was chosen because there were already powerful magics at work due to the ritual.

Quite the tale but strangely quite believable.

Able was relieved he brought me a daughter and therefore was not killed. I have to admit, I was as well.

Next we head to-

the words are the last on the page, it appears as if this is either a section of a larger book or all that remains of it

[SteelsSweets]

The caravan master says we are nearing our destination.

I have grown weary of travel. At this point, even if the destination is a flaming pit, I would gladly depart this wagon.

I will admit, the trip was not entirely dreadful. I do miss Saul but I had several who came and went which I enjoyed spending time with.

It always pleases me when I find those willing to call me Mistress of their own accord. There are even some that experience some form of comfort and release when accepting such. Like they have finally been given permission to embrace something they had been afraid to admit.

Time will tell if any of those who remain on the caravan will stay with me upon reaching our destination.

I do hope Saul finds what he was looking for. I know he will be quite late in joining me but he was excited at this opportunity.

[SteelsSweets]

I swear, if I hear the words "nearly there" one more time...

If I squint, I can see our destination on the horizon.

As I sit in my wagon on this final night of rest before arrival I find myself reflecting on my journey.

Much like my mother, I have found myself in many towns and cities, all unworthy of mentioning by name. Each promising a home and each failing miserably.

Yet, here I try again. Another fresh start.

My male will join me later. Perhaps it was the Maiden's will that the ceremony for First was never completed.

I digress. My thoughts are on the caravan travel that will soon be coming to an end.

My mother had a dream. She yearned to have one of celestial decent for her own. She perished before that dream was fulfilled.

During this trek, I came to learn that one of the other wagons contained men who were in possession of one such being. I made it my goal to relieve them of that burden.

I had recently paid passage and become custodian for a stowaway on the trip so we took to becoming friendly with the men.

It was not difficult. Soon they were all but doing a mating dance for me. Some males are just so simple.

Even though I could have, I decided against using that infatuation to get the creature for free. I was good. I purchased him properly.

Vile people. But, after moving my new possession to the more comfortable surroundings of my wagon, I resumed my friendly terms. I even gifted them with some of my special wine.

A few nights ago tragedy struck. A wagon caught fire and those inside perished. We were lucky no others were harmed. It is a shame I will not have those men to dally with any longer. I do wonder where my stowaway was...

He is a fine possession. Well built and toned. All one would expect of one of his kind yet with one flaw.

He seems to be missing the feature mother wanted most. I think it would be interesting to make it a goal to see that feature restored or added if need be.

For you, mother. I will take good care of him. Training has already begun.

[SteelsSweets]

The caravan arrived a few days ago.

It has been an interesting few days.

I managed to get a house. That was my first goal. Now to furnish it.

Boy is doing well. He is taking to his training but I can tell there is something deeper. I will have to keep pushing him.

Zinnestro is with me. I think he is adjusting well.

I have a new potential member. I am unsure about him but so far he seems loyal. Time will tell.

I have enough room for two more, at the moment. I am sure if I end up with more than that I can make room. Here is hoping worthy people appear.

I miss Saul. There are so many people around that I find it hard to make friends.

The females seem to despise me. Though I will admit I have never gotten on well with females. Mother taught me that they are more than often competition instead of allies.

[SteelsSweets]

Gained members, lost a member.

Such is the way.

Why do they not seem to think on their own? You can be part of a house and have a Mistress and still have your own mind. It isn't a difficult thing...

There are so many tieflings here. I think there may be a portal somewhere letting them all in. Or maybe they all know it is a safe place.

It wouldn't normally be an issue even though some of them are of demonic origin. But I seem to have run afoul of one most arrogant. And for no real reason.

He seemed the most non-chaotic of them all. I had hoped to be allies. We could have accomplished much with an alliance, if not even a friendship.

But he chooses to refuse the demands of my goddess. I can't ignore a god. He may think he is above them but in the end he will find he can't either.

The irony? He hates "monsters" yet, technically, he is one. Horns, tail, non human origin. He certainly isn't an elf or a hin.

In a way, I feel sorry for him. Having to walk around the district he thinks he runs fully warded.

I admit to having a giant sized ego but his challenges even mine. Add in the arrogance and I think he may be compensating for something... maybe he's actually a eunuch.

Hm. No wonder the bitch he claims to not own is always so rude. Poor thing.

Boy is doing well. I think I may allow him a room upstairs soon.

I have purchased a location in the Market District and as soon as the odd sign magics allow I will begin furnishing it and turning it into a temple to the Maiden.

I do still plan to have something in Upper, for that is where her temples are usually found, but you have to take what is given sometimes.

The pain of growth. Pain is life.

Oh, speaking of pain... even though he didn't show it, I relished in knowing the pain that tiefling felt seeing a monster in his district. Even if just for a moment. I could feel the Maiden smile upon me for that.

Back to work. We will endure, Mother.

[SteelsSweets]

I had planned to leave today. Another city, another failure. The Maiden has blessed me with a pain that I can not endure.

How did mother do it? She was able to work with both sides and better those who were in need while causing those who deserved it to suffer.

Why do they refuse aid? They rail against the insults and name calling yet they act in ways that prove the arrogant to be exactly right.

I've lost someone I thought was a friend because he does not want to better himself. He prefers to be the brute monster that everyone sees him as.

That hurts.

What allies are left? Both sides of the conflict are just as stubborn and arrogant. The middle ground is only out for coin. They could be of use but only if I can show them how they would profit.

I am just a failure all around. I am certain I'll be killed soon, or at least severely beaten. This town seems to thrive off of its hostilities.

I follow the Maiden of Pain but this is just chaos for the sake of chaos.

I gave Boy his freedom. I am not worthy to be Mistress of someone against their will. I told him to do what he wishes.

He is the one that has convinced me to stay. He removed his collar, I think that might have hurt more than the pain I was already experiencing. But, he wishes to be part of the house.

I don't feel I have the right to even have a house right now, let alone brand someone into it for life. He will eventually leave. I will spare him the life oath.

Saul is still missing. He has sent no word. If I leave, he would not be able to find me. Where would I go anyway?

So, here I sit. Useless.

[SteelsSweets]

Attended an organized brawl in the Slums.

I will admit to being impressed with their hospitality. While I admit I may have not noticed but I like to think they decided not to use the opportunity to lighten our purses in any other way than wagers.

It felt good to spar with my house. We all learned of our own weaknesses and strengths.

It wasn't exactly what I needed but, I have yet to find one worthy to provide that.

In the mean time, I am pretending that I am worthy of this following. As such, I am working on house ranks. It might make the house feel more cohesive for the members to know their standing.

I'm sorry mother, First Male just isn't going to work here. I personally do not see an issue with it but the holder of that honor would forever be teased by those of lesser mind.

I also would like to have a Second Male, so to speak.

So far I have:
Mistress
Regnant
Renforce
       
       
Retainer

Maybe? The retainer or lowest tier would be one earning their place. The position above that would be a member of the house but not held to the highest standards I demand of those who wish to be mine.

Ranks above those would require branding and oathtaking.

Should there be another non-branded rank? I shall have to think on this.

[SteelsSweets]

The house is quiet.

The plants are back to quickly wilting and dying. I've hired a Western District boy to take care of them. Maybe eventually he can move in permanently.

Brahn has left the area. After the altercation with Durandel and Shang, I most likely would have excused him anyway. So, no loss to the house.

I usually take joy in decorating but there is no reason to make changes. I could work on my scroll crafting but my supply of silver and gold has run out. Shang is gathering such but under the employ of an arcanist.

During my travels, I used to hear whispers of someone tailing me. I do wonder if they still are.

[SteelsSweets]

I would say there is a lot to catch up on but there really wasn't until yesterday.

The mages are still toying with rats. I see them occasionally watching me from the corners. I do wonder if the people know it really is the University that are keeping them riled up.

I was starting to despair of my perpetually empty house when upon a walk through the Market I hear a familiar baritone.

My Saul has returned. In a way.

He is not as he was. Time will tell if that is a good thing or not.

I will need to work with him to uncover hidden truths. I have a feeling there are answers to questions waiting to be discovered.

He said there was an elven sailor who recognized my name. Turns out he meant the Lauriella woman. I had all but forgotten her.

I suppose I owe her a debt of gratitude for being nosey enough to learn Mulhorandi. Had she not known it, Saul might have had a more difficult time upon his arrival.

I need to find a way to egg on her hatred of the paperman. Perhaps I should seek him out. I'm sure there is more to this than meets the eye.

As Saul and I were shopping, Zin appeared. He had been gone for some time.

It was nice to have two of my males with me, if even for a short while. Zin soon left again. He is quite the odd one.

I was praying and had just risen from a rest when the Maiden saw fit to have me aid in another rat hunt. I'm not too sure how I ended up there but I've learned not to question the will of the gods.

I was generally ignored by those of the Nebular. Luckily Shang was there, so at least I got a greeting.

Seems I joined as they were fighting. Oh the life of an adventurer.

After the fight is when it got interesting.

We heard some singing. Goblin singing.

The sound led us to a small camp. We appeared to have interrupted some kind of ritual or ceremony.

They were fermenting hallucinogenic mushrooms. It was quite refreshing.

I partook. It had less of an affect on me but I still enjoyed myself.

I also learned that Shang has no tolerance for practices that are not his own. A shame.

I barely managed to cork two bottles before he kicked over the cook pot.

Saul and I will quite enjoy these.

[SteelsSweets]

Saul and I have not had a chance to enjoy the goblin brew. I am reconsidering my desire to have him as my first.

Firstly, it seems premature to name a First when there are no other contenders. Also, I am not sure he is of the right mentality to fulfill the duties required of the First.

Is there a secondly? Did I write one? Gods I'm tired...

I was looking for tasks that the House could complete together and caught a glimpse of the elf's ship.

It is not nearly as massive and impressive as I would have thought. I also did not get too close but I didn't see any crewmen.

I suppose they could have all been asleep, or otherwise occupied, below deck but one would think that there should be someone topside at all times. What if an evil horrible priestess of the Maiden came aboard?

Sid has found me. It is nice to have one of the old house returned. With him came some news that I am not sure I want to entertain yet. I could really use someone to talk to about it. Alas for lack of First.

Saul has presented me with an opportunity to please the Maiden yet I am not sure I am brave enough. I find shame in this. I have been meditating and it seems to me that she wishes I go through with it but it is so intimate that I feel that once again it should only be something the First does.

At one time I was considering Fazian for the role. I doubt he could do this, even if he was the First.

I visited the library. I am not hopeful I will find what I seek but I await word on if anything was located. Perhaps Tyche will smile upon me, as she seems to have a strong foothold in the city.

Why do adventurers fear pain? I can understand the soft nobles and ignorant peasants but you would think that adventurers, more than any others, would understand and appreciate the lessons that pain brings. Do they not gauge themselves based on their martial prowess? To grow, there must be pain.