[Eternally_Faithful]

Birth Name: Trent Micheal Lormain
Adopted Name: Trent Dusdrassius
Age: 16
Race: Human (?)
Identifying marks: Covered from the neck down in scars and lacerations
Hair: Pitch Black
Eyes: Light Blue (?)




Theme Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9NStVkSCuk

Born in the town of Everfrost (which will one day become Neverwinter) to farming parents that never actually wanted children due to the raging poverty across the farmlands, they soon sold their son off at the first offer of five hundred gold to the Enclaves.

Ripped away from his home at the age of six, betrayed by those sworn to love and protect him, he began a life of torture, pain and experiments...the end results...well, as the saying often goes, monsters are often made, not born.

[Eternally_Faithful]

A small brown notebook is found tucked away in his bags, literally marked as the Journal of the Damned.

What have I done for the sake of power? Many things I fear, bonding with a Demon willingly, murdering a woman, turning my back on a ritual to remove the demon, these are all things I have willingly done, as well as listening to the demon. I cannot trust anyone else but Pheroth now. He is the only one that has been loyal and true to me. Even Keelie I think hates me at the moment, Dame Lucil claims she wanted to help me, but like all the other fake Selunites, I doubt she will return my message.

[Eternally_Faithful]

I saw Keelie today, she came to where I am now, we spent a long time talking and...she stirred something in me I long thought lost and buried...all before rekindling the pain that has always been. I asked her to come with me, for merely five minutes, a simple jaunt just nearby, but she wouldn't she had promised Rhod that she wouldn't as hes filled her head that I would kill her...I would never harm her, gods knows I have come closer to killing Edulis then I have anyone, and still never struck out....what I did the other day was survival related, nothing more. I didn't target her during the ritual when the Demon got me to attack them, and I wont start now. The pain though, it was very real. The reminder of why I should never open my heart to others, the moment you do, they stab a knife into it to remind you that you cannot be trusted or anything more then a distant connection. Why do I keep allowing myself to believe otherwise exactly? Why do I want to believe there could be more with her, a closer bond...someone I WANT to trust...Perhaps I really am just a fool? * wet smudge on the paper suggests either water or some other liquid momentarily dripped onto the page before it was closed off

[Eternally_Faithful]

I have decided to truly let go, to free myself from pain and misery, no more people playing with my heart and head, using me as some pawn. Pheroth will show me the way to open myself truly to the demon, to fully embrace him and accept him as a part of me forever. There will be no turning back ever when I open this flood gate, it will require me fully embracing him as part of me, accepting the darkness and truly letting go, we will be one in every sense of the word.

I have tried to be good, I have tried to be a hero, I have tried to find a better path, yet every time I tried, someone or something has stomped me back into place, reminding me that I do not deserve that happiness, or to live free of pain and suffering, so instead, I will stop seeking it, I will embrace the "Monster" they want me to be.

Assuran knows I have tried, I regret killing that woman, and I will gladly accept real punishment for it, but not Hadrians, they would just kill me, no, that is not Justice. May Assuran bless me as I continue forth on this path, though, I am left to wonder how much longer he will accept me?

[Eternally_Faithful]

I finally told her, I told her everything, but it was far too late. She doesn't love me, she loves Rhod, her heart belongs to him. A part of me I guess always knew, she would never truly be with someone as truly broken and damaged as I am. I wanted to always believe their might be a chance for happiness with her, but it was all a delusion. That is one thing the Netherese were right about. No one would ever truly want someone like me. Not my parents, not the Swords, and not her.

I returned to the cave in a blind anger, I think I broke my other hand, it really hurts and it bleeds, but well, at least it numbs the rage and internal pain for a time. I cannot blame her for wanting someone who can better take care of her then I ever could. She deserves better then a monster, even if she doesn't know how far I have truly fallen.

I accepted the demon, I truly let him in, when she told me she couldn't be alone with me, I became self destructive, and had Pheroth not found me, I would have done something far more foolish then breaking my hand. No, I accepted them instead. It was actually very easy to find and connect to them, then it was just a choice, and it was one very easily made.

Dame Lucil had her chance, the Swords had their chance...Keelie had her chance. There is no saving me now, I surrendered. I am done trying to be the good guy, only to be punched in the gut again and again and again. Its not worth it, I need to focus now on my vengeance, my pain and the end goal. I will serve my penance to Assuran for the womans murder. Not by Hadrians laws of course since those are corrupt as sin. Though I will ensure my own penance.

For now I should curl up with Pheroth, the pain and emotional distress has literally drained me dry, and the only rest will be found with him. Why do I need him to rest? I don't really know, but it is the only way I sleep peacefully, I would truly be lost without him. For now...we are safe.

[Eternally_Faithful]

Two days now, back to back, two hundred lashes completed of one thousand, Lilah came to me today, she has refused to forgive me, actually hates me I think. The House is willing to consider my proposal, but they want me to show initiative and surrender myself directly. I likely will soon, but moving right now is painful, sailing would be hell. Pheroth won't be happy when he wakes up and spots the fresh lash marks, I already know this. Hopefully he isn't too upset, I don't like when he is. I will likely need to replace the carpet, this is twice now I have heavily bled into it, but no point until the ten days are up, which leaves eight more days. Admittedly, I am not looking forward to those eight days.

May Assuran oversee my penance, and forgive me where Lilah cannot, though I do not fault her. I deserve it and I do not pretend I don't. Rod made me swear on Keelie to turn myself in, I partly hate him for that, using her as a weapon against me. It was either fight him though, or agree, and I am in no condition to fight him. Hopefully, soon this will all be resolved, even if I will be in great pain over it.

[Eternally_Faithful]

Today I surrendered myself for judgement to House Dukaruss, the outcome was very much cruel, I barely remember much of it, which dad...yes I am officially calling him dad now, he adopted me officially before leaving, he told me its likely better I don't remember it all, but he did tell me what they did. After leading me infront of the coin and having me strip and kneel, they viciously cut off my horns, then forced me down and cut off my tail, then kicked me in the ribs breaking them, they even offered to let the crowd torture me, I am banned from owning property in Hadrian as well as using their proclaimers. I only remember waking up in Pheroths arms back in our home, him trying desperately to keep me calm and ease the pain. He had to set my ribs back in place and try to keep me comfortable, not an easy task, that hurt like hell, I thought I was gonna black back out again. It still hurts to take deep breaths, but its better then it was, my heads pounding and I feel very nauseous from it all, everything hurts. But at least for now, the internal injuries are on the mend, even if it will be a while before I can wear my armor again, I can at least travel to Hadrian if needed. I slipped and started to call him dad when he was leaving and tried to cover it up, but he caught it and asked me what I was going to say, so I told him, he accepted it and called me his son then and there and honestly, I couldn't be happier with the outcome. Assuran knows I need a parental figure.

[Eternally_Faithful]

Lord Assuran,

I Trent Lormain, do hereby swear Vengeance against House Reschotti and Nikita Petrov for crimes of torture and mutilation against my father Pheroth. I swear to avenge him if it takes burning the damned estate to the ground. Grant me the power to complete your vengeance in your name. Please aid me in this, that I might see them punished for their cruelty and inhumanity.

Signed: Trent - Vengeance Seeker of Assuran

[Eternally_Faithful]

My vengeance has started, and gods was it fun watching Nikita on her damn heels when the demon came out, I lied of course and told them it was the Wrath of Assuran, who of course accepted my oath, I and ALL of Hadrian heard the three Thunder Claps after they finished cutting off his tail, I called to him, asked him if he wanted to come out and play with Nikita and the fools, only he had to free Pheroth first and focus on Nikita. He agreed and the moment he arrived he cut my father free and moved to her to kill her, I gathered my father and took him back to his house in Hadrian, carefully getting him patched up. He was in so much pain, I really hope Nikita suffered long term damage from that fight. I know her and the other adventurers won the fight against him, 12 vs 1, he had no real chance, but I needed to get dad out of there. I still feel the after effects, the nausea, the weakness, the drain, but it was all worth it. Perhaps today I will actually be able to eat something and keep it down. If they think the Vengeance is complete, oh how wrong they are, we have only just begun!!

[Eternally_Faithful]

I lay awake beside my father, my mind wandering as the pain keeps me awake, the fever is gone, but still can't stomach food, not for lack of trying. He's still exhausted from the pain the other day, and then the mission right behind it, he tries to be strong, especially in front of me, but I know the pain hes in, they did it to me first after all. Sleep has been restless, nightmares of the events that happened to me, though I try not to wake him right now. Just stay curled with him and try to keep him comfortable too. He has suffered a lot the last day and he does need more rest then usual.

I have family finally, part of me still wants to hunt down my birth family and make them pay, but then I look at him and wonder what the point even is, they didn't want me, I wonder partly what they would think of me? Would they hate me for what I have become? Would they think me a monster like everyone else? Would they even recognize me? I don't think they would to be quite honest. The question remains, why do I care? Is it because they are my blood? Loose ends? Or something more?

I still remember reaching for them, screaming and crying for them to help me, to take me back and protect me, the many many nights in pain, crying, begging and pleading for them to come take me home, that I would be a good boy, a better son, anything if they would just come get me. Of course, they never did. I look at myself now and see a scarred mess of a youth, one that is mentally behind where others are not, dad says it can be a good thing, but I can also see where its very much a bad thing. I struggle to understand and work with others even my own age. One that isn't extremely patient with me gets annoyed fast which of course upsets me. I may be 16, but I am far from there mentally. Will I ever be "Normal"?

[Eternally_Faithful]

Day three of no food, nothing will stay down and not one damn inn serves stews or soups. Dads gonna try to barter for some beef and make a stew, then at least if I cant keep the food down, the broth is still there. At least it should help with my recovery, I think the food currently is too heavy so my body is rejecting it, then again not eating for three days will do that to anyone I think.

The nightmares keep coming back, now I remember exactly what happened with Dukaruss, not only did they cut off my tail, he sawed it off with a sword, that's why it hurts so badly. Serrated the edges of the cuts. I may actually have to look at regenerating at least my tail. It won't heal properly this way. I hope its not infected.

At least for now I can get into a robe more easily, Keelie managed to reduce the pain in my ribs and speed up the healing a bit, should make it harder for them to shift so easily. So at least thats a thing for now. Still need to get in touch with the Demon, see what the price will be to fix everything, my tail, my ribs, the horns I can do without, though the nubs up there feel very strange, sometimes a bit painful.

I may try to reach out to the Clergy of Assuran soon, see if they can help with cleaning up the vengeance due to these places. For now, off to make Stew!

[Eternally_Faithful]

The stew worked, cant eat the meat and veggies yet, but the broth at least stayed down, thats gotta count for something I think. Nightmares are still present, it got so bad that dad had to move me back to Sullivans to get me out of Hadrian just to make them ease off. Apparently once there and with him, I was right out of it. Was a little surprised to wake up there, apparently he carried me all the way and I didn't even stir once. Three days of no food isn't fun. Its actually very draining.

People love to shame me for trying to be comfortable, I am only just now getting comfortable in my own skin and being insulted for it is painful, yes its a loincloth, but barbarians wear it, prostitutes often wear less, so why am I shamed for it? Is it just that I look like some freak? Or is it their own insecurities?

Dad says to ignore them, dress as I feel comfortable, so I will, and if I choose to wander dressed like this, I will then and everyone else be damned!

[Eternally_Faithful]

I met a paladin today...I think it was that Arthur guy I was told about. We were in Hadrian and the first thing he did was glare at me, I don't know why I lost my nerves, but suddenly I felt very nervous, weak and sick. When he approached I wound up hiding behind dad as the man spoke of purging us, I could feel myself shaking as he continued after us. I tried speaking up once about demons and devils at war and he literally snapped at me calling me a fool. Eventually I completely lost my nerve and told dad I was feeling sick. He quickly took us out of there.

When we got back home, and had the fever medication back in me again to reduce the fever, we started talking about the past again, and I told him so much more about what life inside the Enclave was like for me. I don't think he was very happy with the answers. The torture and punishments they put you through. The many times I begged and pleaded to be saved from that nightmare, which was in vain.

Dad promised it would never happen again, that I don't need the demons power but force of will. Sadly I don't agree, the pain and fear is too much, I am tired of living this way, cowering from those that seek to hurt me because I am not like them. Being called a monster because of what the Enclave did to me, that I never asked for. If they want me to be a monster...maybe I should just give them what they want?

// OOC Song connection to Trents mood and feelings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t47fADGOaxc

[Eternally_Faithful]

How far will one go to protect the few they love and cherish, how far would I go? Would I throw my own goals, dreams and aspirations aside for my father, surrender myself to pain and torture for him to keep him safe. Honestly. The answer is a simple yes. I know he's worried, but so am I, I cant handle seeing him in pain like that. There is little I won't do to prevent it again. Even if he pleads against it. I must protect him.

I pray he can understand this, that he forgives it and can find reason. He would die to protect me without a doubt, as I would him. The choices before me is obvious, even if it hurts me, or scares him, I cannot let him suffer, I won't let him. I can only plead for forgiveness and pray he understands why I am doing it.

I love you father, your all I have, and I won't lose you for any reason.

[Eternally_Faithful]

Promises...promises of a better future, of acceptance, protection, do I dare believe them again? Can I believe them again? Arthur promises so many things but can he really make it happen? I want to believe it, I really do, but I am hesitant to trust again. Its not the first time the swords will have turned me away. Can I risk opening for them again? Dads skeptical too, they have done little to earn our trust, Snacks even stood and watch them saw off my fathers tail with no regard. No one but me would stand against Nikita. Can I trust this will be any different?

Even now I wait for Arthur to arrive, dads willing to hear him, to get this done properly and see what he really has to say. I won't make the decision without him, hes the only one I truly trust in these matters. Its hard to trust anyone else. Perhaps its why I have to be so guarded. Because pain is something I cant tolerate. My heart hurts enough, I don't want more pain, or betrayal. I am willing to try...I just don't want to get burned again.