46

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Eliezra Baldwin's File

« on: October 17, 2021, 12:31:15 am »

Tylna gave me a reply that was on the surface not very helpful, but it implied that my quarry still frequents her establishment.  Therefore I've started staking out the Lamb even if I find that personally uncomfortable.  Tylna doesn't seem to care as long as I'm buying drinks and keeping my face covered.  I doubt she'd be so ambivalent if I pulled off my veil and let her clients see exactly what they're risking at the Lamb.  If nothing else I'm getting some good practice at eating and drinking under the veil.  So far I haven't seen my target and the other staff, while happy enough to see me alive and well, are just as tightlipped as Tylna. 

Lauriella wants to meet with me again.  I've been preoccupied with my hunt for the Moanderite so may not find time to meet her on this shore trip of hers.  But I suspect we have some common goals and she is a well-known adventurer with many contacts, so I will endeavour to meet with her.  She may be from Nebular, but she doesn't seem to actually be an Uptown resident which is reassuring. 

Finally it looks like Ostian was right, there are some "Whips" as he calls them in Upper Conch.  House Mistari have made some proclamations that make them the likely ones.  "Respect the teachings of pain" they say.  What perverted nonsense.  Pain is an unwanted burden that can be relieved or tolerated, it's not an educational experience that one should seek out.  I feel dirty now because I bought some potions from House Mistari's marketplace stall a few days ago.  At least I've found one of the few things that Diiri's Boys and my group can agree on, and that is to be suspicious of uptowners.

47

Groups & Concepts / Random Acts of Senseless Kindness

« on: October 14, 2021, 01:55:42 am »

I'm looking for player characters of Good alignments to join my slums-based player faction.  It's a group who perform small acts of kindness, justice or mercy in the slums, usually covertly.  It is a very low-key group that would allow PCs to pursue their own projects or be members of other factions too. 

Currently we have a modest home base with a spawn point and rest area.  Members could have any sort of background or class and do not necessarily need to reside in the slums.  What unites the group would be a shared mission to subtly make West Conch a less awful place to live in.  Send me a message on Discord if interested! 

48

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Eliezra Baldwin's File

« on: October 12, 2021, 06:14:39 am »

I've decided that I have to hunt down the Moanderite who disfigured me.  Assuming he has not left the area he could have been spreading more illness and misery while I recovered.  Perhaps this is a way I can use my combative skills for a good purpose.  I doubt he will give up easily.  But I know now that I don't either.  I haven't told my comrades about this.  Probably best I keep them out of it in case this Moanderite is not working alone.  I don't want to endanger the people who saved my life.  I've sent a letter to Tylna to see if she ever saw him again. 

In the meantime I've opened up a small stall to cheaply sell healing and curative supplies to the people of the slums.  I would have preferred a place closer to our camp but I've had to make do with what I could find.  It's near a creepy ruined tower and a sewer entrance.  Not very auspicious, but like I said it's all I could find vacant right now. 

I also ventured back into the brimstone mine and found the devils of disease and torturehad returned.  It's a strange area, and it feels almost like a deliberately created gauntlet for someone like myself to train in.  Why else would there be a bag of gold waiting for me after I've cleansed it?  Hopefully some demon isn't using me as a pawn to kill off his devil rivals...

49

Public Notices / Re: Issues of the Conch Champion (For public reading)

« on: October 11, 2021, 01:03:36 am »

The Conch Champion.  Independent & Accurate, Always.

Important Message from the Editor
In today's special interview edition the subject is Priest Zolo of the Market District's temple to Tyche.  I have taken a heavily pondered decision to publish this interview in its full unredacted form.  I gently advised Ms Hellsworth to reconsider conducting this interview, but consummate professional she is, she chose to go ahead. 

Dear readers, I warn you beforehand that Mr Zolo is a person of ill-repute, prone to lies and fanciful stories along with possessing a vicious and unjustified dislike for my good self.  I grieve that the respectable church of Tyche has been forced to elevate such a man, a man upon whose watch in Hadrian the death of my son occurred. 

-G.Morton, editor.

Interview With a Tychean #3
I am aware that this interview will be a controversial one, but as a professional and pursuer of the truth I felt compelled to  conduct and submit it.  It would also have been unfair to overlook one of the temples of Conch's patron goddess.  Priest Zolo presented as a rugged and healthy individual approaching middle age.  He was unshaven and seemingly weary yet alert.  One could only describe his voice as gravelly. 
-S. Hellsworth, reporter.

Z: Well, well, well.  I didn't expect the rabblerousing muckraker would let you do this one.
SH: I think a few people may be surprised.  But let us get the obvious issue out of the way first, Priest Zolo.  Please tell us about your history with Editor Morton.
Z: We're both from Hadrian, obviously.  I was the last guildmaster of the now sadly defunct Adventurer's Society there.  A fine community organisation which your boss went to great lengths to slander and shut down.
SH: Please explain what happened.
Z: An adventuring party of our members was heading off to explore some ruins east of Southbank.  They were mostly Selunites, searching for some holy site I believe.  Some children tagged along with the party... fans I suppose you could call them.  If the party in question made any error it was then, in allowing untrained minors to accompany them.  I personally would not have allowed it in a party of my own, and if I had known beforehand I would have quickly stopped them.  Mr Morton's son Giovanni was one of these children. 
SH: What happened then?
Z: The party was ambushed by orcs on the way to the ruins.  Tragically, all the children were slain in the skirmish.  The adventurers did the right thing and brought back the remains for prompt resurrection.  Unfortunately there wasn't enough left of Mr Morton's boy. I was told he'd tried to kick an orc shaman who had an acid sheathe, and the boy was melted.  Horrible.  Tragic.  An unnecessary waste of a young life.  I disciplined the adventurers involved severely.  They all had had their membership suspended and were also punished by the Amaunatorian court of Hadrian.  One was imprisoned. But that wasn't enough for Morton. 
SH: Explain please.
Z: He was a town crier in Hadrian.  He and some parents began a campaign against the Society and claimed that his son's death was just our latest misdeed and that we were a dangerous influence on the young.  He dredged up all these old things that happened years or even decades before I'd ever joined the place... unpaid taxes, possession of contraband, claims that we'd planted one of our members as mayor, allegations that we'd refused to defend the town unless paid more, assaults upon noble house retainers.  It was all ancient history.  But I will give Morton one thing, he's a genius at whipping up outrage and bitterness.  Why anyone would want someone like that running a city newspaper is beyond me.  But in the end he got his way, and Hadrian forcibly purchased our guild hall and ordered us to leave town.  The church reassigned me to Conch and I thought I'd seen the last of that moustachioed cretin.  But then he pops up here too, and getting what he wanted actually seems to have made him worse. 

[I pause to pull out some notes Editor Morton gave me to respond to any criticisms]

SH: Mr Morton gave me some things to ask you... hmmm.  Gods his handwriting is terrible.  He says here that the Adventurer's Society had always been run by the most dangerous and unhinged adventurers in all Lower Netheril.  Maniacs with self-given titles like... um... Herkulos the Mad Storm.  Morgana the Bloody.  Blorfun the Gravedigger.  Blackash the Ram.  Um... are these real names?
Z: By Targus' bloody bootstraps!  If he can't even get the names right I'm not going to bother.  What else did you want to ask me?
SH: Please tell us a bit about yourself and your temple.
Z: I was an adventuring priest for many years.  After the fiasco of the Adventurer's Society's demise, the church decided to give me a largely administrative post here in Conch.  There was a lot of tension between the temple and WNTC when I first arrived.  The merchants wanted to ditch our temple and replace it with an Amaunatorian one with all their stringent rules.  I was able to convince them that they would actually be freer and more prosperous with Lady Fortune having their backs, rather than the lawyers of the Sun God slapping red tape on everything.  And Tyche is just as likely to bless someone showing daring in business as in other endeavours. 

[Zolo slaps the desk to emphasise his point about red tape]

SH: And what are your thoughts on adventurers these days?
Z: The same as ever.  Most of us are decent folk looking for excitement and prosperity, and we are happy to help others.  The church of Tyche is always appreciative of the spirit and daring that adventurers show.  I will heal any injured adventurer, and sometimes I sponsor parties for specific daring adventures.  Naturally they have to apply to the temple for such support, so if there are any adventurers who bother to read the Conch Chump, I invite them to contact me. 
SH: We actually have a few adventurers with subscriptions.
Z: Well, everyone needs something to line their pet parrot's cage with I suppose.  Tell me, is doing this interview going to affect your career?
SH: Mr Morton assured me that while he disagreed with my decision, he would not fire me, or punish me at work in any other way.  I think he was impressed by my courage, actually, and promised to print the article in full.
Z: Right.  Well, Fortune favour you.  Plenty of work here or at WNTC for a bright writer like you. 
SH: Thank you for the offer Zolo, but I intend to work for the Champion for a long time.  Thank you for speaking to me today. 

END

50

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Giona Morton's Little Black Book

« on: October 08, 2021, 01:28:04 am »

3. Covington
It's as real as Man-Bat.  A reader (presumably a child due to the syntax) wrote in to say they've been there with a pirate.  Credible story despite the writing style:  many elements check with what I have read about Covington.  Will arrange with H and others to locate it privately.


4. Soppira Hellsworth
Not pleased with Soppira of late.  She has arranged interview with Zolo and refused my demand to cancel it.  She threatened to take story to City Blossom or West Netheril Times if I do not publish it.  May have to heavily redact story.  Must remember to search her locker for Selunite taint. 

51

Public Notices / Re: Issues of the Conch Champion (For public reading)

« on: October 08, 2021, 12:25:41 am »

The Conch Champion.  Independent & Accurate, Always.

Editor's Note
I have received many complaints of late that the office of the Conch Champion is all but impossible to find.  Therefore I am currently working on moving our office to a more visible location.  Let it not be said that I ignore complaints!  I will inform you, beloved readers, of the new location once it has been secured. 

Meanwhile reporter Soppira Hellsworth has conducted another interview, this time with Kardeen, West Conch's priest of Tyche.  Please read and enjoy!

-G.Morton, editor.

Interview With a Tychean #2
After my recent interview with Priestess Kaylie of Upper Conch's temple, I spoke with Kardeen of the temple in West Conch.  Kardeen is an interesting specimen with red eyes, misshapen ears and a swarthy complexion.  He is clearly of mixed but unknown heritage and culture and he has numerous facial piercings.  He seems to be constantly simmering with suppressed rage but I noted that he never completely lost his temper.

SH: Hello Priest Kardeen, thank you for speaking with the Conch Champion today.  Oh, Priestess Kaylie says 'hi'.
K: [grunts in irritation].  She and I were ordained together.  Her faith is genuine, but her interpretation of Lady Fortune's ways is repulsive bullshit.
SH: Excuse me?
K: Her prosperity doctrine about unearned wealth being proof of Tyche's favour is just convenient crap for the useless and parasitic idle rich of uptown.
SH: Tell us then what you preach about Tyche.
K: Tyche brings good luck to those with the courage to defy tyrants and to work hard to better their own situation and that of their community.  She smites with bad luck those who seek to hurt or oppress her faithful.  She cares not a whit for bloated rich maggots sitting on their inheritances and investments.  She is the perfect patron for West Conch and its people, which have both been abandoned by the rest of the city.   [stands up and roars as if giving a sermon]  Here in the slums I preach the TRUE word of Tyche!  I encourage and support my flock as they stand up to the bullies here and those in other districts who look down upon us.  I protect my brothers and sisters with Tyche's holy blessings and curse their enemies with misfortune! 

[Kardeen's skin flushes and his eyes actually glow as his anger and passion rises.  It is clear that he is not completely human]

SH: Tell us a little more about yourself, Kardeen.  You clearly have a great love for your parishioners, but you were born elsewhere, yes?
K:  Yes.  I was. 
SH: Who were your parents?  Some people say you are a tiefling, others that you have some drow or orcish ancestry. 
K: [snaps] Who I was does not matter!  The past is an illusion.  All that exists is the present and all that matters is what we do here and now. 
SH: Please, just for the sake of the Champion's readers who are curious.  Tell us what you are willing or able. 
K: [grunts testily] Fine.  I was born in the woods.  I never knew my father, and my mother is a truly despicable woman who kept me in a cage.  Literally in a cage.  A vision of Tyche gave me the courage to break free and escape.  I came here and preached Tyche's word in a corner of the slums, and slowly my flock grew from a few to dozens then hundreds.  Eventually Her church learned of me and  offered me proper training as a cleric, and the funding to start building the modest temple you see here today.  Many of my flock are trapped and oppressed like I was, and I strive to give them the strength and courage to stand up to their oppressors. 

[Kardeen's flinty voice softens as he speaks of his flock and his temple, and his love for them is evident.  The fierce glow in his eyes dims]

SH: What are your current concerns for your parish and West Conch in general?
K: Everything.  We are bearing the brunt and blame for the plague of rats.  Many here are already on the brink of poverty or starvation, and the crows are now reducing harvests and driving up food prices.  Diiri's Boys are running the district now, but they're batshit insane and nobody outside the gang really understands them.  Children disappear here sometimes and we don't know why.  Racial segregation is pushing all the orcs, kobolds, hobgoblins and everything else in this one section of town, which inevitably increases tensions.  The Conch Council always spends more on uptown and the markets, so we can't ever improve things.  Basically, we're always getting shit on here in West Conch.  I'm surprised you had the balls to even come here for the interview.
SH: Whatever it takes to get the story, I say.  I'll be interviewing your fellow priest Zolo next.
K: [inexplicably roars with laughter] You're going to interview Zolo?!  Really?  I might actually buy your newspaper to read that one.
SH: Um... very well.  Thank you for speaking with us today, Kardeen. 
K: [continues laughing]

END

52

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Eliezra Baldwin's File

« on: October 07, 2021, 06:04:11 am »

Whilst foraging for herbs in the wilderness I found Pearl doing the same thing.  I don't know the region around Conch well at all yet so gratefully accepted Pearl's offer to show me some good sites to collect herbs.  For someone so small she is quite lethal, and the two of us were more than a match for any wandering creatures that stumbled upon us. 

Pearl seems to have good contacts in Upper Conch.  She mentioned Gabby or Gabriella who is a student at Nebular and a keen herbalist and alchemist.  Pearl also knows Apprentice Sithmore there, and as it turns out Sithmore is "the captain" Pearl mentioned the first time we met.  There was another person she simply referred to as 'Z'.  Overall it sounds like there are some friendly and decent folk in uptown, although Ostian assures me that there are many despicable ones there too.  He was an archivist and census taker, so I suppose he would know these things. 

I think my health has recovered enough to take up whatever path it is the Broken God has marked me for.  But it's frustrating me how limited my skills are.  I can't heal with magic like Mylene, and worst of all I lack the natural talent to even learn the basics of it from her.  Instead I must rely on mundane trappings like herbs and dressings to heal and cure others.  If I have a natural talent it seems to be for fighting, but how could violence be doing my god's work?

53

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Eliezra Baldwin's File

« on: October 05, 2021, 06:14:23 am »

I met another of the local adventurers, this time an elf lady named Apprentice Sithmore.  She is a student at Nebular as well as a ship's captain.  Our initial meeting was a little awkward, for she was standing at the gates I intended pass through and she was heavily and visibly warded with defensive enchantments.  She seemed curious about me, and asked if I was wearing a veil for cultural reasons.  Sithmore was also a little surprised that I still live in the slums now that I have the income to equip myself heavily. 

None the less she was quite pleasant and when I mentioned my interest in herbalism she took me on a journey to some locations in elven lands which had some rare herbs.  We encountered some orc raiders but Sithmore's enchantments (which she shared with me) proved very powerful.  My devotion to the Broken God gained her attention and at the end of the journey she gifted me with a truly fine blade.  I must say that the adventurers of Conch I have met so far are nothing like the local newspaper we use to light our fires and wallpaper our shacks claims. 

The trip left me in Hadrian's south bank, and I ventured alone around that settlement.  I found a Moanderite lair in a noxious labyrinth to the west of the town.  There were too many abominations for me to completely purge alone but I destroyed many of them.  Walking those smelly, spiraling crypts while fighting through shambling and pitiable slaves of Moander was a distasteful experience for me, as much for personal as physical reasons.  Hadrian seems a city no less plagued with evil than Conch and I regretted that I could not stay long.  But my duties in West Conch must take precedence. 

54

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Giona Morton's Little Black Book

« on: October 03, 2021, 06:59:32 am »

2.  Man-Bat.
IT'S REAL.  I saw it, fought it and slew it.  But it must regenerate and haunt basements once again, or there is possibly a massive cult of Men-Bats.  Possibly/probably a Selunite cult.  I dare not retract my editorial stance that Man-Bat is a hoax.  I am so beloved that the whole town would suffer if my reputation were to take a blow.

55

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Eliezra Baldwin's File

« on: September 30, 2021, 01:04:09 am »

On a whim I explored some of the mining tunnels just outside the city walls.  I followed a scent of brimstone and discovered to my horror a nest of fiends.  Predominantly they were disease-ridden manes, but even more offensive were the torture-adoring kocrachons supervising them.  In charge of this small colony was a fiendish foreman who was utterly jubilant in the pestilence and agony his charges were working on.  Though alone, I trusted in my abilities and with some effort I purged the creatures.  I have no doubt they will return, for the stench of brimstone and rot was as strong as ever. 

I wandered the markets afterwards and pondered that such evil could dwell so close to the city.  That was a rather naive thing to think I quickly realised.  At the bazaar I saw some disturbing things for sale.  There were pungent Moanderite relics- preserved body parts of one of their "holy" men the seller assured me.  These offended me on a personal level due to my own long illness which was caused by a Moanderite. 

Also alarming were some ecclesiastical Loviatarian whips for sale.  This is a religion that baffles me more than any other.  I've heard that they gouge and flay flesh (their own and that of others) in their rituals and take orgiastic joy in hurting people physically and emotionally.  I don't judge what people do to themselves for there is often some trauma driving it, but to take pleasure inflicting agony upon others is... grotesque.

56

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Eliezra Baldwin's File

« on: September 27, 2021, 11:23:35 am »

We've moved Mylene to a safer but still close location.  She's elderly and never backs down from a bully.  With Diiri's Boys on edge I've been worried about her because I know they wouldn't hesitate to cripple her if she stood up to them.  I thought she would be furious with us but she was actually pleased that she can focus more on healing and preaching now.  She is the closest thing we have to a spiritual leader and true healer and we would be lost without her. 

Today whilst at a stall I met one of the small folk, an adventurer named Pearl.  She was quite resplendent in magenta armour and also very kind.  She was in a hurry and mentioned she had to go meet "the captain".  A sailor perhaps, then.  I haven't been on a boat since I made the trip to Conch and the idea of sailing by choice rather than by trickery sounds interesting.  I think I'd be too worried about the ocean breeze blowing my veil off though. 
 

57

Public Notices / Re: Issues of the Conch Champion (For public reading)

« on: September 27, 2021, 10:56:49 am »

The Conch Champion.  Independent & Accurate, Always.

Man-Bat is a Myth!
Dear readers it has been over two weeks since I issued my plea for evidence, witness accounts and sketches of Conch's infamous "Man-Bat".  As I expected, not a single credible piece of proof of his existence has passed across my desk!  I therefore confidently assert that this beast is what I have claimed all along- an insidious hoax perpetrated upon the good citizens of Conch by the adventuring "community"!  I wonder now what other urban legends they are responsible for.  The Piper of the sewers, the giant centipedes of the slums, rampaging animated furniture in Uptown... could all of these outlandish rumours simply be self-serving scams run by racketeering adventurers? 

I have been busy the past few days in and around Conch.  Being the rugged, salt-of-the-earth gentleman I am, I spent some time volunteering in the fields and orchards of the Creek Farms.  I was picking apricots in an orchard at one point, stripped to my muscular waist naturally, when I was attacked by a flock of crows!  As if this was not bad enough they seemed to be directed by a kenku.  I dispatched the creature with little effort of course.  Upon searching it I found it carried the type of restorative potions typically carried by adventurers and noted that its weapon was a "Moon on a Stick" which are often carried by Selunite pilgrims.  One can only wonder whether there is any link between this experience of mine and the plague of crows blighting Conch.

My other experience of note happened whilst taking a casual walk in West Conch.  Whilst in the north west corner of the slums, I was pushing myself through a gaggle of work-shy panhandlers (hard work always brings success in my experience, so beggars can only be lazy), but then espied an interesting sign.  It seems a new temple is under construction in this dilapidated area of Conch.  Could this be the new temple of Jergal we heard rumours about some time ago?  Or is a new deity joining the temples of Conch?  Either way, I would welcome further information.

-G.Morton, editor.


Covington Revealed?
The Nebular University has reportedly dispatched an expedition to locate the legendary vanished village of Covington.  While it is not clear yet whether or not they were successful the very fact that they felt there was enough evidence to send personnel is significant.  The existence of Covington is much-debated by local historians and folklorists and they are eagerly awaiting confirmation whether "the Lost Village" is real or not. 

-S.Hellsworth, reporter.


Band Splits
Music lovers of Conch are despairing at the news that popular duo Swords & Daisies have broken up.  Equally popular in taverns and theatres, the band have entertained residents for many years with their inspirational yet ferocious musicianship.  Mandolin player Grady Swords states that he had despaired of singer Daisy Bastian's infamous tardiness and hookah habit so broke up the band.  Meanwhile, Bastian insists that the breakup was her decision and was due to Swords being " a moral sewer with a face like a bucket of frogspawn".  Both are reportedly working on successor projects but must first resolve ownership of the "Swords & Daisies" name.  They are due to appear before Justice Oswald Schenker next month. 

-A.Nutt, reporter.


Chained Procession
Several residents of Conch have informed the Champion that they have witnessed groups of people moving around surreptitiously after dark.  The accounts are remarkably similar and indicate that an unknown faction is forcibly moving small groups of people between houses under the cover of darkness.  The people being moved were reportedly chained together and clearly unhappy about their situation.  District Authorities are investigating but thus far have not made any headway. 

-P.Krellin, reporter. 

58

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Eliezra Baldwin's File

« on: September 24, 2021, 10:37:19 pm »

Another successful exploration of the city completed.  I am still avoiding Upper Conch because of Ostian's warnings.  However I have had my first glimpses of the plagues of crows and rats which I have heard about.  There seems to be some malign intelligence driving these events which was obvious even in my first encounters.  Apparently the Nebular University is investigating both matters.  In any case, we have other problems.

Something happened recently that has made Diiri's Boys even more paranoid and brutish than usual.  Some of our group have heard an attempt was made on the life of the Boys' derro leader, others that their infamous stimulants and soul-gems are becoming dangerously unreliable.  Whatever the truth is the Boys have increased their security (if you can call more patrolling thugs "security") and are calling in debts.  Arlow had an old debt to them and when he couldn't pay they broke his leg in several places.  There were splinters of bone poking through the skin when we found him.  We've reset the leg and rigged up a brace for it but unless we can take him to Kardeen, Arlow will be recuperating a long time. 

I've made a few contacts in my explorations at least.  The local herbalist, Pallat, is a cheerful lass and has been supplying us with medicinal herbs.  Over in the Market District I found an apprentice smith named Dorindra who can supply us with affordable equipment for self-defence.  I think we're going to need it. 

59

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Eliezra Baldwin's File

« on: September 23, 2021, 06:26:34 am »

I was feeling much better today so went for a longer outing on the streets and outskirts of Conch.  The slums do not have a monopoly on suffering, I found, though naturally we have it much worse in most respects.  I sent a message out for a mentor. Ostian insisted I make it as cryptic as possible.  That seems rather pointless but I followed his advice for now. 

More importantly I won my first real victory.  Last time I ventured out from our camp I was grievously wounded by a mutant which was seemingly the priest of some chiropteran god.  The first time we crossed paths he ambushed me from the shadows, which were too murky for my still blurry eyesight to penetrate.  He wielded two blades and I had not been trained against such an opponent.  He took fiendish glee in the injuries he inflicted upon me.  I could not even hold my ground, let alone strike him back.  Only by the Broken God's mercy did I escape that time.

But this time was different.  I had scraped together enough money to improve my equipment somewhat.  My keen eyesight has returned and I instantly spotted the villain hiding in a corner and charged him.  I found my reactions had now recovered enough not only to parry his attacks but to counterattack.  He fell to my blade and I could tell by the fear in his eyes as he died that he did not find the experience of feeling pain as joyous as that of inflicting it. 

60

Public Notices / Re: Issues of the Conch Champion (For public reading)

« on: September 17, 2021, 03:27:13 am »

The Conch Champion.  Independent & Accurate, Always.

Interview with a Tychean
Below is my transcript of an interview I conducted with the popular Priestess Kaylie of the Temple to Tyche in Upper Conch.  She is an attractive and diminutive half-elven woman with curly blonde hair and an infectiously cheery personality.  Even a few personal questions did not dent her happy resolve.
-S. Hellsworth, reporter.

SH: Good morning priestess, thank you for taking the time to speak with me. 
K: No, thank YOU!  What an absolute pleasure it is for me to have this blessed opportunity.
SH: Your mother is the famous soprano Mirella, who was decreed the Bard of Conch a record twelve consecutive years.  Did you feel any pressure to follow in her footsteps?
K: I did actually immerse myself in music for many years before I felt the call to study for the priesthood here.  But there was no pressure on me... why it was an  honour that Lady Fate chose to place me in such a blessed family situation. 
SH: Mirella was a single human mother when she had a fling with an elf noble who passed through town, a union which produced you.  What is it like to grow up with parents of two different races?
K:  It was a wondrous experience which I will be forever grateful for.  It was due to Fortune's Smile that my parents met, even if they were together ever so briefly.  My mother has always had such an overflowing abundance of love for me that the absence of my father was barely noticed by me.  Honestly, I was blessed from the start to be born into such a loving family situation.

[I pause to gather my thoughts for the next questions.  Kaylie gives me a patient yet dazzling smile]

SH: As I hinted earlier, Mirella already had a child from a previous relationship when she met your father.
K:  Yes, my half-sister Danica. 
SH: I've heard that this "loving family situation" is remembered rather differently by her.  Town gossip says that you and her have a ferocious rivalry.  Danica herself claims that you've just imitated her your whole life and even stole this job you have from her.  What do you have to say about these things?
K: I really feel for poor Danica.  It's not her fault she feels a little bitter or resentful towards me.  Yes, she pointed the way for me in a lot of areas, such as singing, dancing, and the Tychean faith.  It must be very hard for her that I've consistently proven so much better than her in every single one of them.  [Kaylie smiles pityingly a moment, before her dazzling grin returns]  But I didn't steal this job from her, the priests simply decided that I was the better candidate.
SH: I am told that Danica accused the priests of choosing you simply because you donated a large amount from your elven father's inheritance to the church and you physically appear more like some depictions of Tyche than her, not because of any spiritual merit.
K: Yes she did.  Amongst other less savoury accusations.  But even if that one claim is true, surely would that not be even more proof that I was Lady Fate's preferred choice?  For luck blessed me with features like hers and she blessed me again with the fortune of my father's money.  And luck is the currency of the goddess. 

[I move on to my next questions, noting that unlike many interviewees Kaylie has not been even slightly irked by "the bomb question"]

SH: Your personal interpretation of Tyche has been described as a little unorthodox but has proven wildly popular here in Upper Conch.  Can you explain it and the appeal it possesses?
K:  I don't find it unorthodox or controversial at all.  I preach that Tyche rewards effort and faith and often does so via material rewards.
SH: So all of the wealthy parishioners here in Upper Conch, whether they be businessmen, intellectuals or simply born rich have been blessed for their effort?  Doesn't that seem like a stretch to you in the last example?
K: Not at all!  Some have been rewarded for the daring and efforts of their ancestors and are born into fortunate circumstances.  Like myself.  And the others have been blessed in their own efforts with good fortune in their investments and employment. 
SH: But you can understand surely how the less affluent people of West Conch, whether Tychean or not, might see that as awfully convenient?
K: Perhaps, but I believe that Tyche chose me for this district of Conch.  Should the people of West Conch be feeling spiritually or materially unfulfilled, they have my colleague Priest Kardeen there to soothe their woes. 
SH: I am planning to interview him soon, so perhaps I will discuss the matter further with him.  Thank you, Priestess Kaylie, for speaking to the Conch Champion today. 
K: [cheerfully]  You should do that!  Tell him I said hi.  Have a lovely day!

END