31

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Character Introduction: Trent M. Lormain

« on: July 07, 2018, 10:37:54 pm »

My deepest and darkest fears came true. Dad was betrayed in the field by those he should have trusted, Snacks and Rassali cut him down and the Legion arrested him. I only found out cause Snacks told me he was being held...of course, in fear I lost my temper and sent out a death threat across Hadrian, I was alone, scared and in a corner on my own, which is when Arthur showed up. Hes the only one that other then dad has made an active effort to reach out to me. I thought he was there to kill me, but he instead reached out to help me, even got me to see dad, but I had to make a public apology too. Dads at home now with me, but the Reschotti have a collar around his neck to make sure he comes to trial tomorrow. I don't wanna lose him, hes all I really have.

32

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Character Introduction: Trent M. Lormain

« on: July 07, 2018, 06:24:15 pm »

War, the one thing that can destroy families and lives in an instant. Today I sit like many other sons and daughters waiting for one of two things, dad to come home, or a notice of death to arrive, though unlike most soldiers, I don't have a mother to intercept the message, to break it softly if it comes to it, to help me mourn and grieve. It is only me. Dad promised it would be okay, that he would be back. How many other fathers promised that today, and won't make it home to their children, on either side?

Even now father protects Hadrian, the city that betrays him again and again. Why does he protect them? Why bother when while he is weakened, they are there to kick him again and again? It's not fair that I have to worry and panic for him, while they use him as some tool. Yet I cannot tell him not to go. He will not hear me about not going, he wanted to go. For several reasons perhaps, but I still hate that he went.

Please...just come home dad....please?

33

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Character Introduction: Trent M. Lormain

« on: July 07, 2018, 01:51:31 pm »

People make monsters, this is what I told Arthur, every time I go to Hadrian they remind me of this. Yesterday was first a group of sell swords hired to threaten my father into denouncing himself as a Priest of Amauntor, then when attending Chesters group, the priest there tried to force it. I scared many when I allowed the demonic presence to have room within the Temple. The fires all grew hotter as I threatened the Priest that he had lost Assurans friendship and I proclaimed him a false priest.

By the time I stormed out, I think I had caused as much unease on them, as they had caused on us. I had to go home, I wasn't asking dad anymore at the moment, I told him we were leaving Hadrian. He tells me I need to be stronger in will, but he doesn't realize how much I fight back the demons to not let go, to not burn it all down around me, to not kill again. The soft whispers to make them suffer, to make them pay, to watch them scream as they watched us that day.

I hate going to Hadrian, I hate those voices, and I hate more and more that they are right. A part of me truly prays Arthur can make my terms work. Can he though? Can he stop this and try to make it right before the monster truly breaks free? I want to believe he can, but I won't be the one reaching this time. They must if they truly want to help me, I won't be burned again.

34

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Character Introduction: Trent M. Lormain

« on: July 06, 2018, 12:25:04 pm »

I'm no longer sure whats worse, the nightmares, or what I see even when I am awake. She won't stop, I have seen her twice now, but I am not sure if its only me, or if I am being visited by the woman. I used to think so, but now...somethings wrong. People don't drip blood down their eyes, mouth and nose and sink into the mud like its nothing. I lost all nerve instantly when that happened. I barely slept, every time I shut my eyes, she was there again, mocking me, taunting me.

I don't even know if I am losing my mind, or its real, or its just me. Maybe I deserve it? I don't know but, many people kill, murder, torture, and they never see any of this, so why me? Why do I keep seeing it? Why does it keep tormenting me. I can't sleep, even with dad beside me, I keep waking back up with nightmares or just seeing her again. It needs to stop. Maybe Cele or Keelie will have an answer? Maybe?

35

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Character Introduction: Trent M. Lormain

« on: July 06, 2018, 12:09:43 am »

Promises...promises of a better future, of acceptance, protection, do I dare believe them again? Can I believe them again? Arthur promises so many things but can he really make it happen? I want to believe it, I really do, but I am hesitant to trust again. Its not the first time the swords will have turned me away. Can I risk opening for them again? Dads skeptical too, they have done little to earn our trust, Snacks even stood and watch them saw off my fathers tail with no regard. No one but me would stand against Nikita. Can I trust this will be any different?

Even now I wait for Arthur to arrive, dads willing to hear him, to get this done properly and see what he really has to say. I won't make the decision without him, hes the only one I truly trust in these matters. Its hard to trust anyone else. Perhaps its why I have to be so guarded. Because pain is something I cant tolerate. My heart hurts enough, I don't want more pain, or betrayal. I am willing to try...I just don't want to get burned again.

36

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Character Introduction: Trent M. Lormain

« on: July 04, 2018, 07:53:33 pm »

How far will one go to protect the few they love and cherish, how far would I go? Would I throw my own goals, dreams and aspirations aside for my father, surrender myself to pain and torture for him to keep him safe. Honestly. The answer is a simple yes. I know he's worried, but so am I, I cant handle seeing him in pain like that. There is little I won't do to prevent it again. Even if he pleads against it. I must protect him.

I pray he can understand this, that he forgives it and can find reason. He would die to protect me without a doubt, as I would him. The choices before me is obvious, even if it hurts me, or scares him, I cannot let him suffer, I won't let him. I can only plead for forgiveness and pray he understands why I am doing it.

I love you father, your all I have, and I won't lose you for any reason.

37

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Character Introduction: Trent M. Lormain

« on: July 04, 2018, 04:57:17 am »

I met a paladin today...I think it was that Arthur guy I was told about. We were in Hadrian and the first thing he did was glare at me, I don't know why I lost my nerves, but suddenly I felt very nervous, weak and sick. When he approached I wound up hiding behind dad as the man spoke of purging us, I could feel myself shaking as he continued after us. I tried speaking up once about demons and devils at war and he literally snapped at me calling me a fool. Eventually I completely lost my nerve and told dad I was feeling sick. He quickly took us out of there.

When we got back home, and had the fever medication back in me again to reduce the fever, we started talking about the past again, and I told him so much more about what life inside the Enclave was like for me. I don't think he was very happy with the answers. The torture and punishments they put you through. The many times I begged and pleaded to be saved from that nightmare, which was in vain.

Dad promised it would never happen again, that I don't need the demons power but force of will. Sadly I don't agree, the pain and fear is too much, I am tired of living this way, cowering from those that seek to hurt me because I am not like them. Being called a monster because of what the Enclave did to me, that I never asked for. If they want me to be a monster...maybe I should just give them what they want?

// OOC Song connection to Trents mood and feelings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t47fADGOaxc

38

General Discussion / Re: An in game bank.

« on: July 04, 2018, 03:22:08 am »

The problem to this is, there is only one bank currently in the game, in Hadrian, you become the villan and get exiled, you lose all access, and while im all for actions have consequences, im not fond of crippling the villan entirely.

39

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Character Introduction: Trent M. Lormain

« on: July 04, 2018, 01:21:00 am »

The stew worked, cant eat the meat and veggies yet, but the broth at least stayed down, thats gotta count for something I think. Nightmares are still present, it got so bad that dad had to move me back to Sullivans to get me out of Hadrian just to make them ease off. Apparently once there and with him, I was right out of it. Was a little surprised to wake up there, apparently he carried me all the way and I didn't even stir once. Three days of no food isn't fun. Its actually very draining.

People love to shame me for trying to be comfortable, I am only just now getting comfortable in my own skin and being insulted for it is painful, yes its a loincloth, but barbarians wear it, prostitutes often wear less, so why am I shamed for it? Is it just that I look like some freak? Or is it their own insecurities?

Dad says to ignore them, dress as I feel comfortable, so I will, and if I choose to wander dressed like this, I will then and everyone else be damned!

40

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Character Introduction: Trent M. Lormain

« on: July 03, 2018, 11:35:34 am »

Day three of no food, nothing will stay down and not one damn inn serves stews or soups. Dads gonna try to barter for some beef and make a stew, then at least if I cant keep the food down, the broth is still there. At least it should help with my recovery, I think the food currently is too heavy so my body is rejecting it, then again not eating for three days will do that to anyone I think.

The nightmares keep coming back, now I remember exactly what happened with Dukaruss, not only did they cut off my tail, he sawed it off with a sword, that's why it hurts so badly. Serrated the edges of the cuts. I may actually have to look at regenerating at least my tail. It won't heal properly this way. I hope its not infected.

At least for now I can get into a robe more easily, Keelie managed to reduce the pain in my ribs and speed up the healing a bit, should make it harder for them to shift so easily. So at least thats a thing for now. Still need to get in touch with the Demon, see what the price will be to fix everything, my tail, my ribs, the horns I can do without, though the nubs up there feel very strange, sometimes a bit painful.

I may try to reach out to the Clergy of Assuran soon, see if they can help with cleaning up the vengeance due to these places. For now, off to make Stew!

41

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Character Introduction: Trent M. Lormain

« on: July 02, 2018, 01:48:23 pm »

I lay awake beside my father, my mind wandering as the pain keeps me awake, the fever is gone, but still can't stomach food, not for lack of trying. He's still exhausted from the pain the other day, and then the mission right behind it, he tries to be strong, especially in front of me, but I know the pain hes in, they did it to me first after all. Sleep has been restless, nightmares of the events that happened to me, though I try not to wake him right now. Just stay curled with him and try to keep him comfortable too. He has suffered a lot the last day and he does need more rest then usual.

I have family finally, part of me still wants to hunt down my birth family and make them pay, but then I look at him and wonder what the point even is, they didn't want me, I wonder partly what they would think of me? Would they hate me for what I have become? Would they think me a monster like everyone else? Would they even recognize me? I don't think they would to be quite honest. The question remains, why do I care? Is it because they are my blood? Loose ends? Or something more?

I still remember reaching for them, screaming and crying for them to help me, to take me back and protect me, the many many nights in pain, crying, begging and pleading for them to come take me home, that I would be a good boy, a better son, anything if they would just come get me. Of course, they never did. I look at myself now and see a scarred mess of a youth, one that is mentally behind where others are not, dad says it can be a good thing, but I can also see where its very much a bad thing. I struggle to understand and work with others even my own age. One that isn't extremely patient with me gets annoyed fast which of course upsets me. I may be 16, but I am far from there mentally. Will I ever be "Normal"?

42

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Character Introduction: Trent M. Lormain

« on: July 02, 2018, 10:36:45 am »

My vengeance has started, and gods was it fun watching Nikita on her damn heels when the demon came out, I lied of course and told them it was the Wrath of Assuran, who of course accepted my oath, I and ALL of Hadrian heard the three Thunder Claps after they finished cutting off his tail, I called to him, asked him if he wanted to come out and play with Nikita and the fools, only he had to free Pheroth first and focus on Nikita. He agreed and the moment he arrived he cut my father free and moved to her to kill her, I gathered my father and took him back to his house in Hadrian, carefully getting him patched up. He was in so much pain, I really hope Nikita suffered long term damage from that fight. I know her and the other adventurers won the fight against him, 12 vs 1, he had no real chance, but I needed to get dad out of there. I still feel the after effects, the nausea, the weakness, the drain, but it was all worth it. Perhaps today I will actually be able to eat something and keep it down. If they think the Vengeance is complete, oh how wrong they are, we have only just begun!!

43

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Character Introduction: Trent M. Lormain

« on: July 01, 2018, 09:06:42 pm »

Lord Assuran,

I Trent Lormain, do hereby swear Vengeance against House Reschotti and Nikita Petrov for crimes of torture and mutilation against my father Pheroth. I swear to avenge him if it takes burning the damned estate to the ground. Grant me the power to complete your vengeance in your name. Please aid me in this, that I might see them punished for their cruelty and inhumanity.

Signed: Trent - Vengeance Seeker of Assuran

44

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Character Introduction: Trent M. Lormain

« on: July 01, 2018, 06:16:02 pm »

Today I surrendered myself for judgement to House Dukaruss, the outcome was very much cruel, I barely remember much of it, which dad...yes I am officially calling him dad now, he adopted me officially before leaving, he told me its likely better I don't remember it all, but he did tell me what they did. After leading me infront of the coin and having me strip and kneel, they viciously cut off my horns, then forced me down and cut off my tail, then kicked me in the ribs breaking them, they even offered to let the crowd torture me, I am banned from owning property in Hadrian as well as using their proclaimers. I only remember waking up in Pheroths arms back in our home, him trying desperately to keep me calm and ease the pain. He had to set my ribs back in place and try to keep me comfortable, not an easy task, that hurt like hell, I thought I was gonna black back out again. It still hurts to take deep breaths, but its better then it was, my heads pounding and I feel very nauseous from it all, everything hurts. But at least for now, the internal injuries are on the mend, even if it will be a while before I can wear my armor again, I can at least travel to Hadrian if needed. I slipped and started to call him dad when he was leaving and tried to cover it up, but he caught it and asked me what I was going to say, so I told him, he accepted it and called me his son then and there and honestly, I couldn't be happier with the outcome. Assuran knows I need a parental figure.

45

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Character Introduction: Trent M. Lormain

« on: July 01, 2018, 01:04:53 pm »

Two days now, back to back, two hundred lashes completed of one thousand, Lilah came to me today, she has refused to forgive me, actually hates me I think. The House is willing to consider my proposal, but they want me to show initiative and surrender myself directly. I likely will soon, but moving right now is painful, sailing would be hell. Pheroth won't be happy when he wakes up and spots the fresh lash marks, I already know this. Hopefully he isn't too upset, I don't like when he is. I will likely need to replace the carpet, this is twice now I have heavily bled into it, but no point until the ten days are up, which leaves eight more days. Admittedly, I am not looking forward to those eight days.

May Assuran oversee my penance, and forgive me where Lilah cannot, though I do not fault her. I deserve it and I do not pretend I don't. Rod made me swear on Keelie to turn myself in, I partly hate him for that, using her as a weapon against me. It was either fight him though, or agree, and I am in no condition to fight him. Hopefully, soon this will all be resolved, even if I will be in great pain over it.