// since we have the essay spam holidays again I might as well sneak this in since I FINALLY got back to writing this abysmal thing I need to finish one way or another
Come and Go
#26After taking a few days break to enjoy the comforts of a civilised life, my hellhound’s company and the warmth of the hearth, I filled my days with reading, lounging and bread-in-egg with parsley and similar tastiness, just to enjoy and treat myself while I look over the book draft and rewrite it into the final manuscript.
I disappeared without a trace - Ash reacted quite harshly, but being with him never felt the best… just like before, I felt like rowing a boat alone. Especially after losing a good friend - Darius.
So ending that chapter… is good.
SpoilerSays enough that I don’t miss a thing about it. It’s likely I just wanted to try to be a light for him, but he wants nothing of that.
On the evening of the third day, just as I was finishing the dough for an apple roll-pie, a familiar proclamation sounded - one of my most favourite ones. I wrapped up my work and let the dough sit, covered with a dishcloth.
———
Walking through the fresh late evening air in a special dress of blue and violet with upper-arm-high gloves, my lips were in a smile and I felt my impatience regarding meeting my best friend again beat within my chest. I know that if anyone will have understanding for my wyvern research work, it’s him.
Seeing me visibly surprised him, bringing a warm smile on his face and we shared a hug, like we always did every time we met - ever since I asked him whether he’d like one a long, long time ago.
I felt such rejoice of seeing him, the silvery eyes in the nightfall.
Cashand filled me in on the news from the latest weeks in the town. Seems the winged girl I took to the temple healer, Wren, has become a mayor of the town. Which also meant a tax increase and a definite end of my previous job in the service of Hadrian.
During our talk a young, blonde nobleman strolled by, approaching my mage to ask for his spells. While the Arcanist was preparing the spells needed, the man introduced himself to me politely and with a certain grace - Oscar Eisenhuth Montgomery lll, an enclave noble of a good family and heritage. Our conversation was short but fulfilling - people with good manners are rare, and as such highly appreciated, at least by us. It’s quite a rarity to see Enclave nobles acting this nice towards the ground-dwellers.
As we talked he smoothly took my hand into his, and chuckling, remarked that Oscar is likely as bad with other races as he is. I held the warm bones of his hand with gentleness, appreciating the gesture we shared more and more often.
I reached my hand to cup his cheek, feeling the stubble of his against my palm, that’s when he suggested going out to celebrate my return, and to help him get his mind off of the Guild stuff.
We ventured out to the Enclave, taking a walk around the lakes. Walking around hand in hand, we’ve been talking a bit about our plans - and as we crossed paths with a pegasus, Cashand commented that he’d like to have one someday… but also, that he’d taint it by the time anyways, as the pure little things they are. I took a step closer to him with a smirk and we joked for a small while. And then, another of our gentle moments, the ones when we simply thank each other for the good things and then move on, as if nothing happened after our sincere eye contact breaks. I’ve always felt such peace and thankfulness with him.
We went to sit down into the clean, lush grass at the side of the stream.
But it wouldn’t be Cashand if he didn’t first make sure I’m alright with it -
“We don’t need a bench if you don’t mind the grass.”
I looked up at him with a slight chuckle and reminded him “You’re speaking with someone who loves farming and who has lived in a cave for a considerable while, why would I mind grass,” I finished with a wide smile, amused but glad of his caring nature.
He gave it a second of consideration “I don’t know, maybe you’re trying to turn fancy,” he commented with a cheeky grin of his own.
I couldn’t help but giggle - “For you? Perhaps I’d consider.”
Cashand leaned back against a boulder and I went to rest my back against him, sitting partially on his left thigh. On that he moved to rest his hand on my forearm, supporting me from the side. As we were watching the stream, greenery and sky, his grin gradually softened into a warm smile: “You know that I don’t care if you are fancy or not, I like you the way you are.”
Feeling the warmth from within, I thanked him and with a smile, I closed my eyes and went to relax fully against his chest, with the back of my head on his shoulder. I could hear his breath, the birds around and the bustle of the city, and the gentle undertone of the crystal clear stream of the park we were in.
So it happened we spent some hours like this. The only changes were in the daylight, the ever-moving bees and butterflies tending to the flowers, and that I hugged him around the arm, bringing myself deeper into the feeling of safety. And a slight movement, and I felt his kiss on the top of my head with a warm breath out.
And we shared another thanks, as the sun has slowly started to set and the sky got colored in crimson and purple, like dripping watercolor on white fabric.
I strolled down from the little sky palace through the portal towards the Mayor’s Office. I needed to talk with Wren, mainly regarding the rebuilds of the Harvest Moon Charity in order to add another storey and overall expand it more so it serves those in need better.
After a later meeting with Mannus about plans and having them adjusted and fixed, I went home only to find a letter from Neasa, stating her concern regarding Pattie’s presence by my side.
SpoilerWhat is concerning is, that previously even high-standing people like Chan and Morgaine were alright with her and she was treated as any other familiar… but now, things seem to be changing with the arising population of knights roaming about.
Cashand and I are both concerned. This could bring me to a sure death, and more than likely will, if Neasa will push it forward. Which, being a devout follower of a God of Law, she’s probably going to.
We’re going to try to get me a permit to own her - though obviously, as a free bloodcaster, this might probably hasten my way to the pyre.
After several brief errands I had to run, I met with my necromancer again and we went on a walk to clear our heads a bit. Our steps have lead us to the Crypts of Moander, where I’ve shown him the place Ash took me to few times - Cashand loved is just as much, and we spent a while there, before heading back home. The safety and warmth I feel the more noticeably the more time I spend with him is truly unique. I admit we likely -do- act like a couple already… but I don’t want to ruin what we have by trying for that.
Seems while I was away Cashand made some changes in his palace, and being so trusting as we are, he was definitely excited to show me all of them. The spelltesting glyph circle in the lower main hall I noticed the other day already, but he hasn’t show me the rest up until this day.
He’s shown me various parts of the upper level of the estate - even though he didn’t tell it outright, judging by the nature of those changes it was to make the place cozier and more for two people than for a single one…
SpoilerAnd then, we got to see the study.
He was proud to announce and show with a wide gesture that he has put couches in there, so I can sit and read comfortably close to him while he does his work. But…
I watched the inner swirling of a perfectly round orb, stable on a little metal stand on the top shelf of his desk. Cashand noticed, quick to explain
“It’s something that can hold souls for a short while. Longer than a gem could.”
I felt a fragment of my smile fading and I nodded, my thoughts jumping to Nuzu and her soul gem trades with the 14th legion. With a little sting I felt at my heart, I leaned closer in order to squeeze his hand. The mage smiled back, though weakly. With a shadow of an apology and a great deal of regret in his eyes, and fear. Yet giving me the gentlest smile he could at that moment.
I got a hunch, and I needed to ask. Speaking quietly, nervous about the answer yet understanding.
“Sweetheart? Is this part of the things you are nervous about showing me?”
“I guess… yes it is some of the parts that I am nervous about showing you and telling you about.”
I see.
I brought my hand up to cup his cheek gently as his gaze drooped, our eyes breaking the contact.
“As I have said and still stand by, I am a horrible man inside and I do horrible things.”
I let my thumb gently stroke his cheekbone as he slowly spoke. Shortly after I brought his head lower, so he can lean his forehead against mine.
He closed his eyes and put his arms around me, wrapping me in a soft hug, dressed in his thick velvet suit.
Minutes have passed, and one of us had to cross that bridge.
“Do you feel like telling me?”
“Do you really want to know?” he asked gently, worried.
I pulled his head a tiny bit closer, our foreheads now pressed closer together. He gave me his understanding and support so many times before, if I fail to do the same now…
“And how else could it be?” I said warmly, though with a tightened throat.
Such unexpected warmth created a crack on his composure, which slowly fell in the safe privacy of the study, like the autumn leaves in a tempest.
His voice was shaky. “I don’t know. I just worry, as I know that… what I do is something a monster would do.”
The gentle vulnerability of his let my emotions out of their cage. I felt myself starting to shiver in the slight draft coming from the half-opened window towards the slit underneath the door.
He pulled me closer in the hug, soothing my heart with the feeling of security that’s become so familiar. He started to speak softly, with a slight shake in his voice. He spoke about how he uses souls to feed the mythal shard that is holding his island up in the sky. He spoke about how his servant always looks into the shard, because part of his soul was trapped there to give it power. Few tears rolled down his cheek as he kept talking. I held him in a tight hug, his hug on the contrary lightened, as if he didn’t want to keep me there in case I wanted to leave. He seemed like he knew I was going to leave.
But he never left my side, and I am not leaving his. I couldn’t held back the sobs I muffled in the decorative, frilled jabot of his shirt, but never for a moment I wanted to leave. He continued, trying to comfort me with back rubs and sincere words of apology choked on tears.
I took his hand into mine, intertwining our fingers.
He decided to continue.
Telling me all about the lives that fell in order to keep the island up, about the staff he had in the past which managed to twist him into something he was not entirely, about a battle and Celeb, my colleague in Morgaine’s mayoral guard… He continued and I held onto him, hidden in his arms. This man has done things, but who has not - my flames and scorpios took more than a handful of lives, and no charity work and warmth can balance what’s already lost - nor anything can be done about it. Only to move on and try to be better than we were yesterday, which I see is possible both for him and for me.
Still sheltered by his embrace, I felt a gentle kiss on the top of my head.
“Are you okay?”
At first, I had no words. All have left me just like the pooled tears left my eyes to flow and drip down on the dark blue of the fabric. In the end, the only ones I found were the simple and true ones, the only words that mattered to me in this changing and crumbing world.
“I love being with you, Cashand.”
His rough fingers gave my cheek a rub, and he looked down into my eyes with as much warmth as ever.
- “I love being with you, Sherina. That’s why it was, so hard for me to talk about this, as I don’t want to ruin what we have.”
Poor soul, as if you ever could. I thanked him for his trust and openness, gently, while I snaked my hand down his arm to brush the back of his other hand briefly, only to move it back towards his shoulder to rest there.
“I hate hiding things from you. It was hard for me to do so as I didn’t want to hurt you or anything, as I love you and care a lot about you, and would most definitely hate myself if I hurt you in any way.”
This moment my eyes were glued to his and my heart pounded against my chest more than ever before. With the feeling of tightness on my chest, I breathed out:
“I love you too, Cashand. And I cannot imagine it being otherwise.”
And I know you cannot too.
You told me before.
It looked like he wanted to move in for something but he stopped, giving me a weak smile back with the silver of his eyes still on the tarn blue of mine.
Under these circumstances, doing what I wanted could either make our relationship crash or bloom. So shard by shard, by each gentle word that continued, I threw away all the boundaries I’ve learned to keep, I tilted my head upwards for my nose to brush against his tear-drenched cheek, took a breath
“I’m sorry, Cashand” I whispered out, right before my lips touched his, as lightly as a touch of moth’s wings. I felt my magic burn within me, and I knew he could feel that too. His breath and movement froze. Yet after a second, he gently returned the gesture.
And I couldn’t help but smile.
The letters are sent and the only thing we can do is wait.
Death or a permit.
What happened the other day didn’t happen again, at least not yet. Though now we know a bit more about each other, and trust each other more than a bit more.
SpoilerMeeting of the Council became a meeting of the Hadrian Initiative since not a single councilor came. We’ve been discussing the mist and other problems of the region that need solution. Somehow, the one mostly speaking was I - likely due to being informed and having experience with certain things.
It was more of a habit to be helpful to them, to try to be among the ones fixing things around. But today, today the region and its people didn’t really matter. No one besides my pale master would stand up to support me against something. Others are just words, who would do it but only if it was on a 100% safe and comfortable for them. Which, let’s be honest, most of them would never bother. I’m lucky I have the heart of the Weave on my side to support me every second of the day.
But it wasn’t only about waiting this day.
Mayor Wren organised people to come and head to the scorched beaches of the fallen enclave - and into the very building I wanted to take a look into ever since I came here the first time, with Casper and Michael. Chan, Tanner, Raven and several others joined us and we descended deep, through the echoing halls and twisting corridors full of dust, dried bones and many, many footprints.
I traced out a silhouette into the air from memory, of a red reaver scorpion and it materialised, guarding me along with my magic shields. I can’t do as much as wizards can, but I won’t stay behind too much here. This is where the mist cult’s traces lead to, and we can finally end it here and now.
We battled through numerous cultists, undead pawns and mutated beasts, at times being almost overrun when they managed to get us pinned in their familiar environment, until we came into what seemed to be the lowest hall of the underground maze.
After the worst was over, I saw the skull again. The same skull that axe-swinging idiot used to taint all the lands he possibly could.
Looking back at all of it, I can really thank Nuzu. Every minute felt like a fight and a ballet amids sharp eggshells, and now after some time has passed, I feel more confident, safe, and have finally time for myself. I hate when my kindness gets the best of me and blinds me, but at the same time I love bringing at least the bit of the light I can.
Chan picked the skull up, and his head tilted oddly as his helm’s visor stayed turned towards the skull, motionless. I couldn’t breathe. To my relief he then moved and secured it in the enchanted satchel House Skettus provided.
Hand in hand, the Arcanist and I left the crypts, leaving others to do whatever they want.
We need to think of what to do in order to get rid of the lingering mists.
Though, first, -I- needed to have something to defend myself with for when another fight comes. And so it happens I got an idea for a project not long ago, a light crossbow made of the giant thunder lizard bones with a lightning enchantment drawing power directly from a golem heart. And soaking the bones in a good quality potion could add to my nimbleness and better aim as well, hopefully.
Our way has taken us to the Isle of Sauros, a home of many lizardfolk tribes, most of them hostile and each of them raiding the other tribes every once in a while. Thick vines and giant ferns towered from the undergrowth, lianas climbing the ancient trees in a web-like pattern, with real, giant spiderwebs among the distant forest canopy.
The few buildings that are there have been punished by the jungle’s humidity long ago, the logs and roofs rotting away slowly and patiently in the land where traditions never change and blood flows just as much as water.
Vested in our spells with summons be our side, we treaded through the thick greenery, sometimes finding improvised paths that eased up the travel on us. We didn’t have an exact destination in mind, though in the low river bank, there have often been thunder lizards to be found, breathing their volts up at people crossing the plank bridge up above.
Being ready for this exact welcome we drew closer as we walked. I kept my left arm shrouded in my spellflame, ready, with the spear in my other hand. Cashand has managed to maintain his regal posture and step, though the wariness reflected in the small lines on his face and the flicking eyes.
A while after we found our way to a stone wall section and followed it. And just behind the bend was a scouting unit and, to our luck, one lizard of the species we were looking for.
Their hissy battle shouts sounded out as one of their crossbowmen spotted us, firing the first bolt. In a flood of adrenaline that hit after the bolt chipped away on my living stone armor I pulled the Weave and threw blazing spears, homed to the target by my focus and will to live. Cashand’s undead started holding off the melee warriors in the meantime and I commanded my scorpion to join it, while we disposed of the rest. The electric teal, serpentine body of the lizard started advancing to us with a feral elegance -
And it was over.
We took a minute to catch our breath, before we went to process the giant lizard’s corpse, salvaging for the materials needed. Despite my care, the hard scales caused my blade to slide into my thigh in a jolt of pain as we were almost finished. The sharp inbreath and instinctive arch of the back have alerted the Arcanist, who immediately went to sit me down and treat the wound with the utmost care - decided to finish the job himself, he asked me to rest while he does so.
It’s not rare that I feel like a burden, yet everyone feels like that once in a while. Things happen, and the people who are true and close to you won’t let you down, even when the life itself will.
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Ideally if I could get another faction into it too, involving more people in setting it up would be sweet. We'll see how things go.
