The Conch Champion. Independent & Accurate, Always
The Adventurer: Hero or Menace?Greetings people of Conch and thank you kindly for reading my first editorial. Firstly I should introduce myself. I am Giona Morton, the new editor of the esteemed Conch Champion. I have recently moved here from the far town of Hadrian and welcome the opportunity to bring you more of the fearless investigative journalism, hard-hitting editorials and above all a focus on the
truth for which the Conch Champion is renowned.
I departed the town of Hadrian after the resolution of a very specific problem with that otherwise fair city. For too long Hadrian had relied heavily upon the services of people of a certain profession. This profession, if one could truly call it that, is infested with some of the worst examples of humanity and other races imaginable. Opportunists, mercenaries, tax evaders and anarchists make up the most of their ranks. At best they are deluded bleeding heart do-gooders who actually cause more harm than good. At worst they are thieves and murderers. The actions of Hadrian's irresponsible and incompetent adventuring community eventually caused the death of my son and others of the town's children. Therefore we as parents joined together to finally drive out that blight upon Hadrian that called itself "The Adventurer's Society". With that done I resolved to move somewhere new and put my grief behind me. But to my dismay I find the seeds of the same problem here in Conch!
Like any city Conch often struggles with problems of oversized vermin, thieves, feral humanoids and other threats. But we already have three fine institutions here to resolve such matters. I draw attention of course to the fine folk of West Netheril Trading Company, The Nebular University, and Diiri's Boys. They are the rightful upholders of law and order in their respective districts, and in my opinion it is both reckless and illegal to circumvent them and use the services of that dangerously unqualified specimen, the adventurer.
The adventurer shirks their rightfully owed taxes. The adventurer antagonises dangerous races and beings. The adventurer inspires untrained youths to risk their lives in imitation of them. The adventurer always complains about how much they are paid for a job. The adventurer disrespects the rule of law. The adventurer and his cronies gang up on some poor overgrown lizard, bloodily murder it then call themselves heroes! The adventurer indignantly squawks about the price he pays for goods and for which he sells his stolen trinkets. The adventurer is a lawbreaker, a vigilante, a thief, a poor example and a bully. But above all, the adventurer is a MENACE.
G.Morton, Editor.
Grymtol and Diiri's Boys Revive West ConchIn good news for West Conch Diiri's Boys and their leader Grymtol have brought a new regime of prosperity and order in the district. I recently visited West Conch to take a look for myself at the changes Diiri's Boys have brought.
Though they are a rustic bunch in comparison to their decadent predecessors it cannot be denied that the Boys have brought a crude order back to the streets. West Conch will only rise to the wealth of the rest of the city if it has some semblance of predictability for commerce and whatever their quirks Diiri's Boys have brought that.
This reporter's only concern is Diiri's Boys' questionable decision to take on an embedded journalist from another publication. But we assure Mr Grymtol that the Conch Champion would
never begrudge a district authority's choices in such matters. Nor would we ever allow such a petty thing to affect our commitment to honest reporting and commentary.
-S. Hellsworth, Reporter.
A Plague of Crows Descends on ConchFarmers, merchants and householders alike have been shocked and suffered financial loss at the beaks and talons of flocks of crows. The Conch Champion has received many disturbing reports in the past weeks of crows destroying crops, defecating upon crowds and even attacking citizens. Clearly this situation is both frightening and dangerous and citizens are hoping that the district authorities can find a cause and solution to this plague of crows. This newspaper has found no evidence to support conspiracy theories that these crows are in fact "spybirds" for a greater power.
-A. Nutt, Reporter.
Nebular Accuses WNTC of Price GougingStudents from the Nebular University have complained to this publication that WNTC merchants are vastly overcharging them for academic supplies. This reporter performed a simple undercover operation by dressing in a borrowed Nebular student's robe and found that this simple identifier of Nebular membership raised prices charged to me by 150%. One can only speculate at the reasons for this. A spokesperson from WNTC has vehemently denied any official policy to charge Nebular students at a higher rate than other customers.
-P. Krellin, Reporter.