02 Dec 22, 20:19 pm » Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Netheril : Age of Magic

Please login or register.

Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - Sazo

Pages: [1] 2
Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Personal Journal - Post Return
« on: February 25, 2019, 10:35:28 am »
Entry - 255

Hey Sis, Hey, Snacks.  Bear with me guys, I'm going to try and keep my thoughts straight but it's been getting worse lately.  So, there has been someone I've neglected to mention.  Mainly because I wasn't sure what to make of him, or what part he would play not to mention the fact that he's a bit mysterious.  I met him when I was Doinky one night, we travelled to his old Den and ended up drinking ourselves stupid... well..  I did anyway, and we got to talking about a lot of things.  As well as I -know- the man, or at least his characteristics... I don't know the man.  Does that make sense?  It's been some time since we met and I've managed to derive that he means well for the most part and attempts to do his part in keeping Hadrian safe, though he does have some misgivings regarding it.  Which, I can understand.  Based on what he's told me (and I will not mention it here.) he has a lot of reason for feeling the way he does, and honestly... I feel bad for the man.  If there was any way I could right the wrong done to him I would, sadly that time has passed.  I look forward to cultivating the relationship I have with him in hopes of both learning more about his mysteriousness and because the man is wiser than anyone I've ever known.  He has an uncanny knack for saying exactly what needs to be said, and when... something I could certainly learn to do a bit more.  Above all else though, he's a good man.  Seems to genuinely feel things more than most, and as such he's able to put things into words in a way that I can't fathom.  I suppose that's his bard training, but still... I've got to say it's impressive.  ((The quill sits here a while evidently as the depression in the paper is rather deep))

Fuck!... thoughts.  That... fight I find myself in constantly is getting more difficult by the moment.  I even know the direction she's in, I can -feel- it.  It lingers constantly, it's not even intermittent thoughts like it used to be when I was younger, its downright powerful now. At the same time, I can't place why, but it brings me a sense of tranquillity I've never known.  It's like being close to a warm fire in the middle of winter, except you can never get close enough to get burned.  I need a walk.  Maybe I'll go North this time...

(Unusually there is no sign-off, or closing statements.)

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Personal Journal - Post Return
« on: February 25, 2019, 09:07:19 am »
Entry - 224

Hey sis, Hey, Snacks.  It happened again... only this time it nearly brought me to my knees. I was looking over the wares of the Tiefling who comes into town every so often. Now that I think of it, I don't believe I've ever actually gotten his name. Anyway, I was looking over his stuff and even managed to purchase a few things.  As I was finishing the arrangement this giant wave came over me. Instantly I could feel this immense connection with something... with... someone. I knew it. I didn't even have to look.  Without my noticing, Lucy was standing right next to me. How could I have known, without hearing a voice, or seeing her?  Like I've said before, I know it's not magic.  I know Fey magic all to well, -this- is not it.  That being said, I was caught in this maelstrom of confusion, but at the same time, I welcomed it.  It was the most satisfying, warm, intense thing I've ever experienced.  I know how this sounds.  I really do.  There is just something that is... beyond me.  I made my best effort to keep my composure but I'm certain that anyone paying any attention at all could tell something was going on.  Shit, if it were someone else I would have. No question.  To be honest...  I had no choice but to find a seat.  My legs were wobbly, his heart was pounding, that thing in the back of my mind was sated.  Wholly and completely sated. Remember when I said, could tell that I wasn't alone in this?  That... something was drawing us to one another?  Well, she went out of her way to come sit with me. When I say out of her way, I mean -literally- out of her way.  We spoke at length about stuff I can't even remember now because, to be honest, I was dumbstruck.  I remember her tapping me with her -twig- as she called it, that she had just bought from the same Tiefling that I had purchased my stuff from. I've decided to name these little jabs "love taps".  I know, I know.  It sounds cliche, maybe even a bit gaudy, but trust me, it fits.  We literally sat around doing nothing but talking until Nightfall, at which point (and unfortunately) I had to return to the estate and she needed to rest.  From that point forward and as of now... I feel that same damn longing, the yearning that I've felt my entire damn life.  I'm fuckin sick of this.  Why am I denying myself this?  Am I being way too cautious because of my position and the danger it brings?  Am I foolish and somehow inadvertently want to deny myself what I know is going to make me happy?  or am I just convinced that I'm going mental?  Gah. Once again Snacks, I could really use your ear to bend here.  Snacks, Sis, You know me.  I'm not terribly irrational, and I know a situation when I see it.  I'm convinced right now that something amazing, and crazy is happening to me... to us... and I haven't the slightest idea what to call it, or even what it is.  I do know one thing though.  I'm no longer afraid of it, and I'm no longer going to avoid speaking of it.  Phew...  Guys I gotta go for a walk.  I'll return tomorrow or when I get the chance.

Love you guys.  Miss you. 

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Personal Journal - Post Return
« on: February 22, 2019, 09:32:37 pm »
Entry - 212

Hey Sis, Hey, Snacks.  Work.  That's what I've got to focus on right now, so in light of that, I've made some necessary arrangements and managed to keep myself busy enough that I've continued to expand the network I've established, and also due to the recent events between Three and I, Chan and I started discussing a Tribunal to keep current with situations in the house and to better communicate about things that need to be addressed.  It went over well, and the first meeting is supposed to be held soon.  Which, in all honesty, is good.  We need this right now. 

On to another Subject again, gotta keep my mind moving.  So, as usual Corven and I conducted our daily business and discussed some rather... deep sentiments.  I love that damn bird, I'm not even going to deny it.  ((There are small scribbles here as if the writer was shaking, or laughing))  Regardless, it's safe to say that without Corven I wouldn't have made it this far.  He steered me out of the darkness I was falling in and he doesn't even know it.  It's been nice to have someone to count on.  Even talking with him has helped me to get my head straight... well... almost, the recent events of late have been making that rather difficult.  Though, it's not unwelcome. 
Off for my walk again guys.
Miss you both.

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Personal Journal - Post Return
« on: February 22, 2019, 09:03:36 pm »
Entry - 198

Hey Sis, Hey, Snacks.  Spoke with Three tonight.  Surprisingly, it went really well.  I think we both realized we could have probably approached the situation a bit differently, and agreed that if we trust one another we shouldn't have any of these problems in the future.  Her heart was in the right place, it was just the delivery.  As far as myself, I probably could have specified what I was doing and told her why she shouldn't have been concerned. It felt good to clear the air but better still it felt good to think that I had my friend back. I genuinely didn't mean for her to come to physical harm, and almost worse than that was the damage it had done to the dynamic of the house and the trust of my friend. 
   Snacks, are you hearing me?  What the fuck is going on?  Where is all this shit coming from? It's like all of a sudden I'm tired of being confrontational, or resistant. I guess I should stop trying to label it.  Regardless, it feels like this rift inside the house is starting to close.  Which is not only good for business but good for my health as well. Speaking of rift... I saw her again today and the same thing happened. It was like I was a ship drifting on the waves of a thrashing Ocean and there was a lighthouse, shining brilliantly in the night. I 'knew' the direction I needed to go. Something just calls out... every time.  It's not dangerous, or malevolent, it's... clean.  Honest. Something I've known forever, but yet, never known.  As usual, I'm lost for words.  I do know I didn't want to fight it anymore, I don't know why I was fighting it in the first place. 
   Before I even got a chance to do or say anything, Lucy approached me and pinched my arm. She was only passing through and had to leave but she wanted to stop and see me before she did, I can't say I was upset about it.  I offered to walk her but she was in a hurry. It was pretty clear to me that I wasn't the only one experiencing what was happening to me, but until I was sure I couldn't say anything.  As she left, I felt that same shit I've been living with forever return. 
Saphira, Snacks, I don't know what's happening... but whatever it is, It's opened my eyes to a lot.

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Personal Journal - Post Return
« on: February 22, 2019, 08:31:19 pm »
Entry - 178

Hey Sis, Hey, Snacks.  So, Simeon continues to be someone I deeply respect and given all he's done for me... the paintings, the drawings, conversations, I find myself appreciating him and his wilfillness to reciprocate a friendship.  Oddly enough it wasn't something I really expected but was pleasantly surprised about.  I have to admit, I'm trying to keep myself from walking out the door right now, ever since the square the other day, I've just wanted to find the 'missing piece' and now it feels like it's associated with a direction. I'm not going to Wonbrie.  (The quill obviously stops here for a moment) Sorry, gonna try and get back on track here, it's just hard to ignore something like this.  It's like purposfully avoiding something that seems completely right.  No, that's exactly what it is, it's not 'like it', that's what it is. 

Anyway...   Simeon brought me a gift today. It was beautiful, the craftsmanship was what I've come to expect from anything he decides to create. It was a personalized Scimitar.  The inlay on the blade was expertly done, the weight of it was perfect, it was truly a work of art.  Which will be placed on my office wall just across from my desk.  I couldn't believe it, it was a symbol of what he's come to know about me, and to a certain degree, respect too I think.  It was made as a reminder that the connections we forge are as important as the reason  for those connections and that one wrong choice can lead to a severed one.  Now that I think about it...  rather proper timing too.  It was a genuinely, heartwarming gift.  One more stepping stone toward  a friendship that I have grown to inherently value.  Simeon has a fundamental appreciation for the small things.  Things that most people tend to overlook, or forget, these are the things that spark his inspiration, the things he grabs and latches on to.  The important things that the trappings of life sometimes cause us to pass over, all too often neglecting them until they are forgotten. This is his currency.  Looking back on it, I seemed to have overlooked a great deal of those things myself in the past.  It's probably time I start to think a little harder about what I'm paying attention to.  Right now I'm having a hard time paying attention to anything though if I'm being completely honest.  I think I'm going to take a much needed walk outside.

I'll be back again soon. 

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Personal Journal - Post Return
« on: February 22, 2019, 07:51:23 pm »
Entry - 163

Hey Sis. Hey, Snacks.   I wanted to write to you because something took me by surprise today. Okay, more like it utterly fucking shocked me. I don't know how to explain it, and I don't have the words to convey it the way I would like to.  That.. pulling.   That...   thing in the back of my mind that's been there since I was a child,  for a few brief moments, felt... sated.  It was exhilarating and profound, and a million other things that I can't begin to even comprehend. I was just sitting there, in the square, and all of a sudden this thing happened.  The only way I can explain it is it felt.. right.  Like something I had been missing my entire life, and it was suddenly there.  It happened when I was talking to someone in the Square. Her name is Luciliea.  She was sitting on the ground beside the tree and for whatever reason, I felt the need to go over and talk. I don't mean that I 'decided' I mean I felt the 'need' to go talk.  It wasn't magical influence or anything like that, I have enough magic sensibility to know the difference, and surprisingly enough she seemed to have a similar...  "reaction?" because she kept moving a bit closer over time.  The strange part is, I had the compulsion to do the same and it was all I could do not to.  The entire time I was fighting the urge to move closer. I know the characteristics of the Fey, I know what they are capable of but this was not that.  I have been under the influence of it before, again, this was 'not' it.  This was something entirely, utterly different.  Something that wasn't foreign, yet something I've never had or experienced.  I don't know how to explain it, is the hard truth of it.
(A small pool of ink is gathered underneath where the quill would have been suggesting it stopped here while the writer collected his thoughts)
Polarizing.  Maybe that's the word... or gravity.. or..  I don't know.   I know that since she left the yearning is back and I want it to go away again.  It's like something shifted in place, then and there, and then it shifted out again.  The weirdest part is even though I 'know' I've never felt it before...  It felt like it had always been there until it was gone.  Maybe I just need some sleep.  Though, right now, that's the last thing I want.  Maybe I'll go for a walk.  Yeah, I'm going to go for a walk. 

Miss ya guys.

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Personal Journal - Post Return
« on: February 22, 2019, 04:54:34 pm »
Entry - 149

Hey Sis, Hey Snacks.  So, there is a Seeker in the house that I've neglected to mention until now.  The reason for that... is because I wasn't sure how to take him at first.  He has some..  'quirks' we'll call it.  To put it bluntly he enjoys inflicting pain on others and he considers torture Art.  He can be dark, and quite offputting if the right culmination of people, events, and conversations take place.   With all of that being said...  He's likeable.  Very infact.  Simeon has undergone a vast number of changes and I'm not even sure he's aware of it at this point.  Not to mention that underneath all that 'art' and darkness, he's a genuine, decent, caring individual.  I think more than anything he's a bit lost.  He's been shown little courtesy in life and because of it, it's manifested some... less than appealing tendencies.  However, in spite of all that, he always wears a smile, a genuine one too.  Through all of that pain and suffering, he finds a way to to view things with optimism.  That's something a lot of us could take notes on.  He took it upon himself to draw me, one more than one occassion... and the quality of the mans work can't be commended enough, he's a genius with the brush, or quill, or any other medium you give him.  It's taken some time, but I've found him asking me for advice recently and fairly often.  I try to give him as best a direction as I can in an effort to help him achieve results that might leave a positive impact, the man has obviously been tortured enough.  No pun intended.  He seems to be receiving it well, and with it he's brightened.  Not that he didn't appear to happy most of the time, but he's offered me a window to look through, so that I may better understand him and it's clear that things are becoming much more clear for him.  He even goes out of his way to do good deeds and I haven't heard him talk about inflicting pain on anyone if the situation didn't expressly call for it.  I'm proud of him.  As far as that goes... I guess in a way, I look at him like a son.  In the sense that I feel he could use a guiding hand, not someone to brow-beat him, or make him feel less than, but someone to offer a helping hand if it's needed.  In our line of work there is a fine line between doing what's right... and really fucking things up for people.  Sometimes doing the right thing, means other people get hurt, it can be really easy to get consumed by this.   As it stands now, I'm treading a dark and dangerous path.  Seeing Simeon cast out the shadow, when he's known nothing but that shadow his whole life, gives me an incentive to try.   I still find myself obssessing over the fact that you were both unjustly taken before your time, and because it's left me alone, it's left me volatile and angry.   Something I also see inside of him.  It gets a little easier to do what I want, rather than what's right everyday, and Simeon appears to be doing the exact opposite.  Getting back to his paintings... the paintings and drawings he's done for me need to get put up in my office.  Oh yeah, I don't think I ever even told you about my office, sadly I can't write too much here about it, but what I can say is it's perfect.  Very off the beaten path, and very private.  Perfect for work.  Saphira, Snacks, I will be sending those that wronged you your way very, very soon and I'll enjoy fucking doing it.

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Personal Journal - Post Return
« on: February 22, 2019, 04:36:43 pm »
Entry - 98

Hey Sis, Hey Snacks.   Snacks, I could really use some of your guidance right now.  A literal shit-storm has erupted and honestly I'm not sure what I should do.  It's more a misunderstanding than anything but it's gotten a bit out of hand.  To put it simply... I felt like a friend was pushing back, and at the same time questioning my loyalty to the house, and my decisions.  It's Three.  We've been in disagreement about a few things lately, I after a few exchanges it took a turn that I never thought I'd see.  Every decision I've made to this point has benefited the house in some fashion.  Every person I've initiated, every calculated move, every investigation.  There are two things in this life that I most certainly am.  I'm a warrior, and good at my job.  She outright defied me and proceeded to tell me that I was out of line and I was breaking protocols.  Honestly, I don't think she intended for it to come off the way it did, but it's clear that If I don't say something, or do something about it, this kind of thing is going to continue.  Worst of all... this was in front of potential initiate.  Not only did it make me look bad individually, it made the house appear weak.  You know I don't agree with Slavery, I abhor it.  It has nothing to do with the fact she's a slave, it's more than the rank structure wasn't followed and the things I already mentioned.  To be perfectly honest, if it had been a recruit that acted that way toward me, they would have suffered a fate far worse.  I would have taken the liberty to decide what the punishment was, and enact it myself.  Neither of which I did in this case.  ((The quill evidently sat here a minute as the writer collected his thoughts))  I'm conflicted.  I have a friend that I want to speak with because I want to get to the root of all this and settle it, and on the other hand I have a position in this house that holds certain responsibilities.  Trust is important.  I feel like there should have been enough trust between us, for her to know that what I was doing was in the best interest of the house.

It's a convoluted fucking mess is what it is.  She was publicly whipped, and while I wanted to go see her after, I felt like I was the last person in the world she would want to see so I decided against it.  I don't know...but I'm hopeful this will somehow get worked out.  I didn't expect it to go down like this, I assumed a 'stern talking to' was in order and I just wanted to bring to light what I thought was a personal situation turning badly.  We cannot have this type of disruption amongst our ranks, it just simply cannot happen.  In order to be efficient, calculated and good at what we do, we need unity in the house at the very least.  At the same time, we can't have slaves, initiates, subordinates refusing orders or deciding they aren't going to do something because they don't want to, that sets a bad example if allowed and I will not allow myself to be the cause or reason of it.  I've worked too fucking hard to get where I am to have it collapse on me now. 

Changing Subjects now.  Corven has turned out to be someone I really needed.  I didn't know it at the time... or..  maybe I did...  I don't know, but I think I needed him as much as he needed me.  I lost both of you, this whole disaster with three, It's just too much.  I'm alone.  I'm alone in the task, in mind, and in spirit.  I honestly wish I could just crawl into the woods somewhere and stay there.  With Corven though, I've found more than a ward.  He's loyal to a fault, he'd literally run into a fire and stand in it if I told him to, simply because I give him a direction but more than that I think he understands that I'm offering him the family he wants.  To that end...  I am.  He's endearing in his own way, he's also wise, people just haven't been in the habit of listening to him very much because of his station.   I allow him to sleep in my quarters whenever he feels the need.  I offered him the couch and followed the direction but made a comment about being willing to sleep at the foot of the bed.  He was reaching out.  He didn't know that, but I did.  I would by lying to you, and to myself if I said that I didn't care about him.  He's helped heal me and he doesn't even know it.   At the moment...  he's my best friend.  I've already decided that I'm going to break his bonds, even if it means I have to buy him outright, and release him.  Though, I hopeful the house will see his value, not in gp, but what he can and does offer.  If they do, I will move to intiate him as soon as possible.

 I'll admit the house is a bit stuffy, as it's always been, it's no secret I'd rather be in the open woods but sadly my work needs me here.  For whatever reason, I've always gravitated toward the woods...  In that sense, I've always had an affinity for my Elven Heritage.  Something about it calls me back.  It's the same feeling I got when I wandered into that cave, which ultimately led to me slipping through time and ending up here, so I should probably be careful of that 'gravity.'

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Personal Journal - Post Return
« on: February 22, 2019, 04:01:39 pm »
((Another Various Entry))
Entry - 72

     Hey Sis, Hey Snacks, I know I've been a bit aggressive in my writing for the last while, It's hard to look everyone in face and pretend everything is fine.  Everything is NOT fine!  It doesn't matter though, I have to keep my cool so that I can manage to put things together.  I can't write specifics for the simple fact that if someone were to find this it will lay waste to everything I've tried to accomplish.  Above that, I still need to do the right thing and protect the city, I can't protect shit, if I'm a big fucking mess.   Which honestly, I am.  I can't focus like I used to, I can't keep the anger at bay the way I used to.  My level-headedness that kept me efficient is suffering, I need to keep myself in check.  I'll get my time, I just have to be patient.  It is getting a bit easier to manage I suppose, maybe that's me becoming numb, I can't rightly say.  Things are in place, my network is established and I am back up and running, probably more effective than ever.  One positive to take away from this is that my drive has landed me in many positions of advantage. 
     I am making progress, steady progress. I was called to the Valstiir estate tonight to meet with Natasha.  I assumed it was another training session but when I got there something seemed off. Corven and  I noticed someone standing in the shadows, though Natasha denied it.  She knew that we knew but yet refused to tell me, I honestly couldn't discern why.  Yes, Corven accompanied me again as he always does.  I'm thankful for that bird, he's become more than a slave..  or ward.  He's legitimately my friend.  A loyal one.  I won't let him down the way I did for either of you.
     Anyway...  she asked me to draw steel.  Like any other training session I prepared myself and awaited her command.  Combat.  It's the only time that I am completely centered and able to fight back against the torment. It's the only time I can see and think clearly.  Which I proved because... I bested her.  For the first time, in all my years of training, I bested her.  Up until this point she always praised me for the work I had done and the accomplishments I had achieved.  This time, she seemed more dissapointed in or was angry with herself, than appreciative of my abilities.  Explaining she had nothing left to teach me, she declared that my training was officially over.  As I turned to leave she halted me.   The individual I had seen standing in the room presented himself, he who I will not name here.  After a small conversation I was told that I would be receiving a promotion.  My work had not gone unnoticed and I was to be commended for all I have done.  I was also given another apprenticeship of sorts.  I am no longer a Seeker of House Skettus, but The Seeker of Whispers.  I relish it.

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Personal Journal - Post Return
« on: February 22, 2019, 03:28:00 pm »
Entry - 36

Hey Sis, Hey Snacks.   I recently wrote about the new slave that House Skettus purchased from the Reschotti.  I also wrote about my reservations with the fact that it's a Kenku.  I didn't like the idea that something designed to mimic things they heard would be introduced into an environment that I have personally cultivated to be secretive.  However, was asked to evaluate him and I did.  Not only did I evaluate his capabilities but I spent a great deal of time guaging his personal motivations.  He's Exceptional.  He's also exceptionally talented.  After speaking at length and making my final review I suggested to the house that he be utiltized with his talents after a series of tests are conducted to ensure his loyalty is to the house.  Also..  after speaking with him it became pretty clear that he just wants to belong.  A place where someone actually gives a shit about him, enough that they don't up and sell him to the highest bidder.  I know what that feels like, to not want to be alone, to not know who you can trust, and who you can't.  I know what it's like to feel betrayed.  If there's anyway I can save him from that, I will.  I look forward to seeing how this relationship works out.  I put in the report and now I await word.  We'll see what happens.

Journals & Backgrounds / Re: Personal Journal - Post Return
« on: February 22, 2019, 02:33:27 pm »
Entry - 5

((The Scrawls across this page are shakey, and littered with smudges from exposure to moisture, it's obvious the writer was in a state of unbelievable greif.))

How can I write..  when there are no words to explain the void I that I feel from This.  Snacks is GONE!  (The writing here is particularly bad, it almost engraved in the page itself it's penned so hard)   I didn't even get to say goodbye...  I should have been there, I could have saved him, or at least evened the odds..  (A good portion of the page goes on like this, ramblings of guilt, loss and grief, almost like the ravings of a lunatic.)
I left so many things unsaid.  I never told him how much I admired him...  how much he got me through.  I...   I miss you Snacks.  I'm sorry I wasn't there, I'm sorry I let you down.  (There is a discoloration in the page to suggest more moisture in this part of the page.  You were my brother, my real brother.  The only one I knew I could count on.  I feel lost... more than that I feel hollow.  I vow to make this right Snacks...  (From this point on the pages take a resonating tone.  Grief becomes anger, anger becomes rage, and the penship becomes more steady, laced with intent.)

I won't let this stand Snacks.  Justice will be served for what they did to you and I will be the one to serve it.   What they took from you can never be repaid, what they took from 'ME' can never be repaid!  (The pressure from the quill left a large pool, followed by a rip in the page suggesting it broke)  I have watched too many people I care for die at the hands of madmen and kill-hungry monsters.  It stops today.  I will utterly destroy anything and anyone who stands in my way.  Every tool at my disposal, every resource available, every motivation I can leverage, every rift I can create, will become the tools of my trade.  I will not only kill them, I'll make them beg for it. 

Time to get to work.

Journals & Backgrounds / Personal Journal - Post Return
« on: February 22, 2019, 02:05:24 pm »
Leather Bound Journal - (There are many entries but only a few of particular interest)

     Fucking Hell it feels good to be off that boat.  If I had to listen to that crew sing "The wind she is a'blowing" one more fuckin' time I would have hung myself from the crows nest.   How the hell can people be so cheery in the middle of storm, in the middle of the damn ocean?  All things considered though... the trip was far better than the situation I just left.  Being Summoned to your 'foster' family's house to find a cutlass driven through your sisters heart isn't exactly my idea of vacation.   (an indent in the paper suggests the writer sat here a moment before continuing)   How did they know where to send the summons in the first place, I had already left the city.  Makes me consider the possibility that someone was talking about things they shouldn't have been. The worst part... is it's my fault.  Whoever did it, wanted me off my investigation for that Orb.  With the note they left they weren't very subtle about it either.  "You're too Late Seeker."  They were right. I was. I'm sorry Saphira. I know it doesn't make up for it, but I promise you I won't stop until whoever this was pays for it with their blood. (Another Small indent sits here)  I think I'm going to dedicate this journal to you, it will at least make me feel a little better about not being there when you needed me in some small way.  I'm fortunate I'll be able to make good on that promise I made, because had I not had proof that I wasn't in the area when it happened I would still be sitting in that gods damned Jail Cell.  Useless law officials, how much sense would it make for a "supposed murderer" to go around asking questions about the murder he just commited?  Yet, I spent 3 months in the rat infested hell-hole.  Listening to Barlow in the next cell talk about how he'd "Found Amanautor" and how he's "Changed Forever!" was beginning to make driving my face into the brick wall sound appealing.  His incessant rambling kept me up more nights than I can count.  I did manage to get a little information out of him though. He had apparently overheard the guards talking about how they saw a tall figure outside your house the night before I had arrived.  I know. It's not a lot to go on but as luck would have it I'm pretty good at grabbing threads and pulling them until they unravel.  It's why I was promoted in the first place.  On another note, because I'm going to get wound up if I don't stop talking about it...   a lot of shit has changed here in a just a few months.   An enclave crashed into Valstiir, there's been some growth in the surrounding area, the wonbrie is all fucked up because some sort of evil entity has taken up residence and some elite group of Zealots that's part of Dukkarus stepped in to 'keep the peace' and by "keep the peace" I mean burn innocents alive.  The good news is the house is still intact and a lot of my colleagues are still here, and are doing well. As soon as I get finished speaking with Natasha about what happened I would assume I will be getting back to work.  Speaking of which, it looks like Natasha wants to speak to me now so I'm going have to continue this later.  See ya Sis, Love ya.
P.S.  Rest in Peace.  I'm Sorry.

Netherese Library / Submission: Remember
« on: February 02, 2019, 06:01:43 am »
((This book will probably be cut into volumes, but you will be able to get it in the game as an actual book


(On the inside cover, otherwise completely blank reads a small passage)
"To my dearest friend Snacks.  Words cannot begin to convey the loss that I feel with your passing.  May the burdens you carried be forever laid at your feet and may Selunes light forever warm your face.  You will never be forgotten."

     Half-Orcs.  Dumb, Ugly, Malicious, temperamental creatures that don't deserve a place amongst civilized people.  Or so the stigmatism usually goes.  My sincerest hope is that I can change even one of your minds and through that, pass on the legacy of one of the greatest heroes this realm has ever, and will ever know.  If nothing else, it is my responsibility to pay homage to the noblest, most kindred spirit, I have ever had the privilege of knowing.  It is my life's honour to have not only known him but to have called him my dearest and closest friend. 

     In order to understand the monumental blow that came from his death, you must first understand how he lived.  The shoes he has left to fill are far too great for myself or anyone that I know of.  He did not just impact me this way, but almost all of those who knew him.
     His name was Kroznack, and yes, he was a half-orc.   When hearing him talk, most people assumed he was slow, or that his mental capacity was that of a 'typical' all but brainless half-orc.  He was anything but typical; and anything but brainless. His tactics in battle were often what meant the difference between life and death and usually, those tactics meant putting him in the direct path of danger while trying to minimize it for everyone else, as he was always leading from the front.  What people also didn't know, is that Kroznack spoke four different languages.  Common, was the last of which.   So when he spoke, it would sometimes appear as if his speech was broken.  Yet, he always managed to find his point and convey it beautifully.  Far better than I could ever convey to you how much of an impact he had on those who knew him.   Up until now, I told you his name was Kroznack.  Up until now, many of the people who knew him wouldn't even know who I was actually talking about. Perhaps now, after his death, that's not the case but many did not know his real name in life. His name to most people and how he introduced himself was "Snacks."  From his first steps on Hadrian soil, it was evident what type of person Snacks really was.  His name, at least the name he went by, was given to him because of his nature.  He arrived by ship, as did a lot of us here.  Though, I venture to say that most of us don't receive the kind of treatment a half-orc does when approaching new people.  At least not in a primarily human settlement.  When Snacks originally took the boat here he approached the captain, his "broken" common in tow, and saw the obvious apprehension in his eyes.  Wanting to clarify that he was no threat he spoke to him.  In an effort to say "Kroznack is good" the words didn't quite ring true.  The Captain replied...  "Well yeah, Snacks are always good".  Feeling the point had been made, or..  not wanting to spend the energy to attempt clarifying things and possibly sabotaging himself in the process, "Snacks" simply nodded and affirmed "I Snacks".   At least, that's as accurate an interaction as I can remember based on what my friend had told me.  The point remains, his intentions were pure from the very day he set forth in our city.  Ironically enough...  the first person he ever met here; aside from the captain that is, is me. 

     Now, I have no claims to stake and I am not going to try and advertise myself as the only friend Snacks had but what I will tell you, is Snacks and I spent a majority of our time together.  I had more outings with Snacks then I can even begin to count and as much as he would argue this point, I was far luckier to have been graced with his friendship, then he was to have mine.  Why he put up with my nonsense half the time I'll never understand but he did.  Without complaint and often times to my surprise, he would mention the value that our friendship had to him.  He also seemed to get enjoyment out of my occasional lapse in judgement because it gave him an opportunity to be the man he is..  or was. 

Snacks could always be found at the front of the line. Standing tall against whatever evil had brought attention to itself, regardless of his chances to win.  He stood defiant against anything that had the will to bring harm to those around him and those he didn't know alike and never, not once, regretted it.  Not even with his death.  While he was gentle and forgiving, and entirely selfless, I cannot imagine the fear his adversaries must have felt knowing he would be the bulwark between them and their desired goals.  He was imposing, and fearless and most of all..  a fierce protector of the people.  I won't go into detail about his victories, instead, I aim to tell you what he was like as a person.  That is where he truly shined. He set a standard in Hadrian that will forever ring true as the precedent that is set to bear the marks of a hero.  While his accomplishments are many... it's the lives he changed just by being who he was that makes Snacks the shining pillar of hope he is, even in death.  Make no mistake..  his accomplishments and heroic deeds vastly overshadow that of most of the heroes in Hadrian... but again, that's not what gave him his greatness.  If his heroics are something you wish to learn about, seek out the halls of MoonGlow Keep and inquire there.  He was a Sword of Lady and embodied them and their virtues like no other sword I know, or will ever know. 

     It was not uncommon for Snacks to give people things they themselves could not afford in an effort to equip them better for the perils they would inevitably face on a day to day basis outside of Hadrian's walls.   It was commonplace for him to insist that he take the brunt of whatever punishment or damage that was to come about from such encounters and never...   asked for anything in return.  He didn't want any songs to be sung about him, or 'books being written for him', he didn't even want recognition when helping people on their feet.  Which was something he did every chance he got?  He took the blame for offences he had no part in to shelter those he cared for, simply to take the punishment they would receive for doing whatever it was they had done.  Giving no thought or consideration to his name, reputation, or well-being.  Saying he was a good person would be like telling you the frozen wastes are cold.  It's more than an understatement, it's not even in the same category. More than that, he was an even better friend.   He took blades and spells in place of people with awful demeanours simply because he didn't like to see others hurt, regardless of who they were.  He believed no one, and I mean no one was beyond redemption and often prayed to Selune for the guidance of the souls of those he had no choice but to fight.  Snacks' spirit was.. indomitable. Unfettered, unshakeable and tempered to portray the stalwart defender he was. His presence was far larger than the nearly seven-foot Half-Orc body his spirit was anchored to.  He commanded the utmost respect without having to ask for any of it, and when the needs of others arose... his own didn't matter.

Snacks left behind more than friends.  He left behind an entire city the welcomed his steps when he would return from his deeds.  He left behind a family that would willingly give up their lives to have him return.  He left behind a realm that is only safe because of the action he took, to keep it that way.   When he died, a piece of my soul went with him, along with many other comrades I know.   Hadrian, Netheril and the people of both, are far worse off without him.

The echoes of Snacks' deeds will ring throughout Hadrian, and all of Netheril far longer than I will be here and my hope is that this passage will carry his legacy, and give it name long afterwards.  To those who knew him, there is a place his memory is marked for the passage of time, a monument in Hadrian itself dedicated to remembering him and others that have fallen to protect those that cannot protect themselves. 

It is with a broken heart, and fragmented spirit that I pen these words as my final goodbye to the best friend, comrade and family I have ever known.  Rest in Peace My friend, we love you.

I'll see you soon.
- Sazo Kalen'Thras

Sir Kroznaks was a kind soul but as with anyone he did have his demons.

It was that constant struggle that shaped who he was. He was able to see situations from more than one angle given the unique perspective offered to him through his heritage, past demons and present service to the Swords as a Selunite convert.

Late in his life, I was honoured with the opportunity to get to know him and spend much time in close interaction.
I was never disappointed in our time together. He was a true friend and was fiercely loyal to any who had gained his trust as well as a formidable foe to any who dared harm those he held dear.

We all lost much with his passing but I feel those who lost the most are the ones who came after who would not have the opportunity to know this amazing individual first hand.

~Slave Three of Noble House Skettus

"Snacks was a man who just by being around made myself and others desire to be the better versions of themselves, the versions that he saw when looking at us."

-Artificer Zilta of House Skettus


"Nobody is perfect... or so they say, but Snacks was pretty damn close."

- "Doinky"

General Discussion / Re: Returning from extended Absence
« on: January 30, 2019, 06:17:09 am »
Thanks!  I missed you guys too.   It's weird when you are aware from the server, you're used to seeing certain "Faces" everyday, and then they aren't there.  As odd as that sounds.  haha

General Discussion / Returning from extended Absence
« on: January 29, 2019, 08:12:24 am »
Hey Guys!  Wanted to give a shout out to anyone I didn't speak with today to inform everyone that I've returned from my extended absence.  Had some really heavy stuff going on that couldn't be avoided and then had my children here while all that was going on, that resulted in me not having the time to dedicate to the server (or anything else really).   That being said...  I'm back and in good form (Or so I like to think.)   More over, I'm really looking forward to RPing with you guys again and getting involved in grand plans of grandeur and glory, I'm also hoping to do what I enjoy most, causing waves and watching them turn into Tsunami's.  Short of something unforeseeable and terrible I'm not going to be going anywhere so I'm in it for the long haul.   Sorry I didn't get too much time to reach out and convey what was happening but I did try to speak with a few members of staff to keep them somewhat informed as to why I wasn't around. 

Thanks guys, excited to be back.


Pages: [1] 2