Netheril : Age of Magic
In Character => Journals & Backgrounds => Topic started by: Fiverine on September 07, 2019, 01:34:53 pm
-
Hadrian... what fresh hell is this?
The words escaped my mouth and I immediately felt a twinge of regret. Father McIvor had sent me here, said that I'd find my destiny here. He said that it would be selfish of both me and the village alike for me to stay in Hibernos any longer. My mentor described a thrivin' town with a fine church of Amaunator. Even said that a Chosen One of our faith had walked the streets here. I did not expect this banjaxed ruin I stepped from the riverboat into.
The trip was bad enough. The boat captain was a bit of a dosser, and found it hilarious that I expected him to know who I was. I'm just so used to everyone knowing me. Guess I'll have to learn a bad dose of humility quick smart. Stepping off the boat, the sun was sickly and brown, not the glorious shining disc I know and love. The buildings were damaged and bloodstains were on the cobbles. Some sort of battle had taken place here recently.
And battle came quickly t'me. I had barely seconds to get my bearings when some creature charged across the town square at me. Might have been a man once. It was strong, with venom dripping from its claws... I had a fair crack at it but it knocked me down. I figured I was dead. But the Shining One filled me with his light, strength and fury. I got off my coit and beat down that thing with my bare hands, then grabbed my kit and suited up for war. I found a few more of those monsters, and dealt with them. Saved a lass in the town square and shoved her inside to relative safety.
A fella mucked in to help me at one point. He wore a blue surcoat, and he was a fine thing to behold I tell you. A laird by the look of him, by the name of Nicolas Frost. I could barely believe it when he told me that he's like me... a holy warrior of Amaunator. An omen, surely. The 'sunplague' creatures could not withstand our combined wrath, and the sickly aura in the sky receded. This town has obviously suffered great darkness of late. Time now for the first rays of dawn to kill the night.
But I can't do it alone, or even just with Frosty. Maybe there's something bigger here for folk like us. Father McIvor hinted at it, but wanted me t'learn myself. Gotta find out more...
-
I was needing a helmet, and a dosser at the docks had one for sale. It was gammy looking. Weird shape, and only these tiny holes to see through. Looked like a death trap in battle. But I picked it up, and it just... intrigued me. Putting it on felt good, so I bought the damn thing.
Then I met some nice fellas and a hin lass. Vydaera (terrible flirt, but a real gas man), Uldur (a paladin, but different t'me) and Ruby (so tiny I thought she was a child at first). I showed them the helmet, and they reckoned it belonged to some order called the Swords of the Lady. They were originally a Selunite order of knights, but have splintered and other faiths share their gaff now. Including Amaunator! That feeling of...certainty…I felt when I picked up that gammy helmet was becoming clear.
The three of them guided me to the "Abbey of the Moon" where these orders dwell. We had to fight some savage things along the way... I was up for it all, huge wolves and undead. But some "Black Arrow Bandits" gave me one hell of a touch up. A brutal kick in the head and I was down. Uldur reckoned I was dead and he had to raise me... and I had a weird vision while I was out. A desolate land of grey... but I was bleedin! You don't bleed when y'dead in limbo. Maybe Uldur was codding me, and just healed me? Best not to think too much about it, right?
These knights here... this is the sort of thing that Father McIvor wanted for me. "Go to Hadrian and find your peers" he said. I thought that was just him acting the maggot when he said that. Cheeky bastard he is. The people of Hibernos are my peers. But I can't deny it feels right being in this keep. Just have to find one of these toffs who'll actually talk t'me...
-
Righto, I'm in business. Left a note for "Marshall Templar" or "Templar Marshall" Bresbane (I keep forgettin' which way round that goes) of the Order of the Everlasting Light, and he wrote me back. I'm goin' back to the keep tonight to meet with one of his lads to talk about joining the order.
Gods, what if I make a right bags of it? Getting so nervous. Today a fella named Shi Lei helped me clear out a mine full of manky earth critters. He was givin' me pointers about what I do. After I refused to run from a big walking clump of crystal (thing was tough as all feck) he told me it's not dishonourable to retreat from a stronger opponent. Even reckoned that Amaunator wouldn't want me being such a chancer and riskin' my neck like that.
Father McIvor would lose his rag if he heard that one. He used t'tell me I was the village champion, so I had to stand and fight whatever the odds and never abandon anyone, *ever*. Shi was still fightin' the thing, so I couldn't leave him. But the father told me that when all I was fightin' was goblins... nothin' like what I'm doing around Hadrian.
But while Shi and I were talking about it all my skin started to glow. Like my hair, but all over. And I felt stronger and more confident than I've ever felt. It's never happened t'me before… was this a sign I was doing the right thing? Or that I'm making such a complete haymes of things Amaunator himself has to prop me up? Will an order of elite knights even want a culchie like me around? Guess I'll be finding out soon...
Maybe these Knights can help me set these things straight in m'head if nothing else.
-
One o' the Knights Errant set me a task to prove I was worthy to be a squire. I was expecting it to be something like "kill 150 orcs" but it was more a test of m'wisdom, which was a pleasant surprise. I spent the next day having a lash at finding some things for it, and got most of it. But I was struggling with one last part.
Then I met a lovely lass named Yew in Hadrian. She wants to join the Knights too! And she's wise as feck. Yew gave me some inspiration and I figured out what the last thing I needed had to be. I'm hoping she gets taken in as a squire too, that would be grand. She tol' me she grew up in the wilds and found it hard to settle into a city, and that people remember what she used t'be like. First impressions, and all that. She made a good one on me, but.
I don't feel all that comfortable in Hadrian m'self. The Church is the only place I really feel at ease. I saw a dosser walking around town with a bone hand and people seemed t'think it was normal. He looked to be a cute hoor and I bet he's up to no good.
But none o' that matters right now. I passed the test! I've become a squire, donned the armour and surcoat and can start learning how to be a knight. Maybe they can help me stop throwing shapes all the time. That nearly got me killed a few times today. The squire armour looks good, but more importantly it feels right. This is what Father McIvor wanted for me. I was angry at the oul' boy when he asked me to leave Hibernos, but I can see why he done it now. He'd be so proud, and I'm only gettin' started!
-
Been bustin' my hump helping local folk with their problems. The ones that need an aspirin' knight, I mean. Missing children, missing pumpkins (even sillier than it sounds!), restless dead. I did a few nixers with Yew, and we work really well together. Lawdy I hope she ends up joinin'. Will be good to have a friend right there in the keep.
Did another job with Uldur in the Wonbrie Woods. We helped this lovely elf lass named Mirwen get some moss to make a salve for her peepers. She'd been blinded by some feckin' elf-haters. She reckoned they were long dead and gone, otherwise I'd be smiting them somethin' brutal. I was happy t'help her out at least. Though she wanted t'kiss me afterwards... not sure if she was just codding me or what.
Supposedly I'm gettin' assigned to a knight soon? I haven't the faintest which one o'them it will be. I asked Squire Jason what the craic was, and he reckoned it would be either Sir Arthur or Sir Koirid Koisrid... Koi somethin'. Jason seemed to think me pairing up with this Sir Koi boyo was a real gas for some reason. Guess we'll see what we'll see.
-
Well, I got to meet both Sir Arthur and Sir Koi. Had my chance to get throwin' shapes and impress them, right? Didn't happen. I made a complete haymes of it.
Some hill giants were tossin' rocks down on Hadrian, so a bunch of us rushed up there to stop them. I charged a really big one, he was wavin' his hands and talking gibberish... next thing I know I'm fallin' to my knees in the Arcanist Guild of Hadrian. I'd been turned to stone and missed the whole damned show! They'd had to lug me back to town to get me fixed. I must have looked a complete eejit to the knights. They're callin' me 'Stony' now...
We went to the Keep after that holy show, and Mirwen came with us. She's got her sight back, and tol' Dame Gabrielle that I'd helped her. Awfully decent of her, I felt less of a dosser when she said that. I'd found some nice kit Mirwen could use so gave her those too. I reckon she'll make good use o'them.
Turns out that Koi is the knight I'm bein' assigned to. He's a half-dragon of all things, and seems t'be quite a gas man. Sir Arthur is exactly what y'think of when you imagine a knight- blonde, polite, handsome, impossibly charmin'. They both tried to cheer me up, Sir Arthur said I was killin' bandits well enough on the journey back and Koi said it was bold to charge the biggest giant like I did. Helped a bit, but still not feelin' my best. New dawn tomorrow, but.
-
Some mist came boiling out of the sewers and docks in Hadrian today, and a bizarre host o' undead came out. Zombie fishmen, skeleton pirates. Was far beyond what the town guard could cope with so me an' some other adventurers helped defend the place. Several of us stepped into a patch of this mist and got whisked away to the Patrician Peaks. Was a fair hike back, and we had t'kill a few wyverns along the way. Nasty things...
As I was marchin' back, I heard a proclamation for me from Arariel. She's a really tall lass with big golden wings. Half archon I'm told. Turns out she's thinkin' of joining the Swords. I told her what I could about the Achanatyrian Order at the keep. She saw my hair, and reckoned she could help me figure out what my ancestor was like. I don't know quite how she done it, but she imparted a little of her purer divine power in t'me to boost mine temporarily. It felt amazin'. I was tingling all over, and my skin started glowin' like my hair. Ara said my eyes changed colour too. Faded fast but. She calls me 'Sunspot'. I like that a feckload more than 'Stony'.
Ara pulled out a book and pointed out an 'astral deva' and said it was likely one of them who knocked up my great-great-great-great-grandma. Looked and sounded about right from the little Father McIvor told me. He never wanted t'tell me too much, "in case you get a swell head" as he put it.
Ara said this sort of makes her and I distant kin, and that sorta felt right t'me deep down. I never really had a proper family. Ma and da handed to me to the church and asked Father McIvor to raise me. I still saw them and my brothers 'round, but I didn't live with them or spend more time with them than I did anyone else. This is a good feeling I have right now and I think we can do some good work together, especially if Ara becomes a Sword.
-
Been busy huntin' bandits and orcs the past few days. Found a big nest o' orcs near Nualla'n. Their topman was particularly ferocious. Was a tough fight on m'own, but I smote him down in the end. Some of the tips Sir Koi told me helped a bit when I was fightin' through the big orc's lackeys. Also went on a long patrol for bandits, and took care o' two dozen of the feckers. They don't like it so much when someone preys on them.
Also went on a big outing with some local adventurers. Ash Aardyn was the topman, took a bunch o' us out huntin' orcs. I heard his call and thought I should join in and keep improvin' my orc hunting skills. There was also Ruby, Shi Lei, Sherina and m'mate Arariel. We took the boat down t'Southbank and headed to the orc hills from there. Ash can handle even the biggest orcs himself, and the rest of our crew were no dossers either.
Wasn't perfect though. Something... unsettlin'... happened on the boat trip. I had to let it slide this time, but can't ever be doin' that again. That might cost me some help on the bandit thing... but this is the way, this is the Law.
-
I try to keep the goblin numbers in the old mine down, but they been gettin' busy with the lovin' and breedin' it seems. A whole pack of them burst out of the mines and started torchin' the farms. A lot o' us were quickly to hand to drive them back into the mines and finish 'em off. Several of the others went marching off north to find more goblins, but I thought better of that. Wasn't the job, it was the company.
This fella Fjord visited the Keep. Dame Averil talks 'bout him a bit, and I thought there might be something going on there, but no. His mot is some lass named Morgaine and he talks about her non-stop. But he took me out on a training run to take on some Drow. I'd never fought 'em before so that was a grand little outing and I learned a lot. Got a special job we Swords will be doin' with this Fjord, so I was happy to see he's a deadly good warrior.
But best of all... he saw Sir Koi get put on his coit once and tol' me the WHOLE STORY. Can't wait to slag the winged chancer about this!
-
I've settled into a groove now. Listen for trouble, join up with a group headin' out to do something about it. Trouble is never far away in this place.
Looks like I'm an "only child" again. Ara don't want me callin' her "sis" anymore. The Swords had t'take a stand' on somethin'. She told me I only care about "the letter of the law". But I'm a paladin of Amaunator… I live to enact His will. The letter o' the law is what I 'ave to care about. I don't like t'upset people, and 'specially not Ara. She gave me a glimpse of m'heritage, and I love her for that. But this is the Way, this is the Law.
Father McIvor did warn me it would be like this. "You're a sweet girl, Nessie. Everyone here likes ya. But it's not gonna be like that in Hadrian". If nothin' else, I think I got some respect from Sir Koi. Like gettin' blood from a stone.
-
I finally took m'trials to become a knight errant o' the Swords, under the watch o' Sir Koi. My first test was t'act as a judge in two cases o' murder which were delegated to us from the Church o' Amaunator. I thought long an' hard about my decisions. I wasn't just answerin' to Amaunator anymore, I had t'consider all the patrons o' the Guiding Hand. Also what people like Ara have said t'me about the spirit o' the law. I did what was just and wise, but tried to be as legal as possible. Wasn't easy... I could almost feel Amaunator himself glaring at me, and I know I must atone in some way f'that. Going t'be hard to enact His Will while still respectin' the other gods of the Hand.
Still, I was happy with my verdicts, but some o' the Hadrianites weren't. Seems that murder and torture isn't a big deal to these folk, and Boney J himself stepped in to spirit away the convicted man. He cast some Big Hand spell on me after the Potentate demanded we all stand down, so Boney J has been excommunicated from the Church of Amaunator. Not that it matters to an arcanist. Bet he's still off whinin' to his guild as I write this, but. Koi healed me until Belorfin arrived to dispel the big hand crushin' the life out o' me.
I saw Boney J's mot smilin' at him later like he was a gods blessed saint for covering for a murderer and assaulting someone in a church. I understood then why Father McIvor told me it was selfish for me t'stay in Hibernos any longer. The people there are good, they obey the law at all times and not just when it's convenient or helpful, and they find evil repulsive. It was like that b'fore I was born, and likely always will be. But in Hadrian... they apologise for evil, collaborate with it, then seem profoundly shocked when they face consequences for what they've done. They're feckin' deluded.
The second part o' my trial was checkin' out a fort that was overrun by frost giants. Sir Koi led us there, along with Oscar, a half-dragon named Wul, a hin lass named Marlee, and m'boyo Shi Lei. And I'd been worryin' no one would be wantin' to help me after that Church fiasco! We got the job done, and slew all the big frosties that got in our way. We hurried back to Moon Glow Keep then for my judgement. I was worryin' the whole trip back that the mess at the church might 'ave banjaxed my chances.
But no... in fact, Sir Koi seemed proud of what I did, and he gave me a grand reference o' character (though he still insists on callin' me "Stoney"). I've been made a knight errant now, the next step in m'path to knighthood. Father McIvor would be so proud o' me. "Go be a knight Nessie. That's what you've always wanted, so go get it lass" he said. I could 'ave been a Sun Lady at his church if I'd wanted, but p'haps I can still find a way to preach the Way and the Law within the Swords. But my first task as an errant will be assistin' Wul in his desire to join the Swords...
-
a full three pages have been written in, crossed out and corrected so much that they are an unreadable mess. A few just barely legible keywords seem to appear a few times: Arariel, Swords, dead, Shi Lei, Amaunator, Wul, honour
-
I'm not writin' any more about that. I can't. Too painful, and I keep feckin' it up anyway. All that matters is that's been ended, like she would 'ave wanted, and no one else had t'die.
Sir Arthur has been given some secret orders and transferred elsewhere. Not sure what that's 'bout. But he was our representative on the Hadrian council. Several o' us were summoned to the hall t'discuss who would replace him. They asked Koi to do it first... but I'm NOT writin' down what he said in response. A clear "nay", that's for certain. Wul didn't feel anywhere near ready, jus' bein' a new squire, and the rest of 'em all muttered they were "too busy".
They all started starin' at me. I was 'bout to blurt out that a culchie lass like me knows nothin' about government, but I caught oul' Bresbane givin' me a look. I know that look. Same bloody look Father McIvor used t'give me. So now I'm a councillor, talking and writing to other councillors and the mayor, most o' whom I'm quite certain can't stand me or the Swords.
I can handle that, but. More worried 'bout getting some good sleep lately. I keep having these bad dreams... no, not dreams... just the same one bad dream. Full o' symbols. Grey. Restraints. Nothing resembling solid ground. And her. It's horrible. I don't know what the craic is other than these aren't ordinary bad dreams. A warning? My future? A plea? A test? Somethin's coming, I can feel it.
-
Koi is dead. Wul is gone. Just me an' Warden Kyra in the Chapter House. She's been barkin' out orders, giving me things t'do, because she knows I'll break down if I get a moment t'think.
We reclaimed another o' the Giantsbane artifacts. This was somethin' important to Koi. But I was just goin' through the motions like a golem, not feeling anythin'. A slaad: kill it. Silvia is sick: cure her. Arcanist is hurt: heal him. A beholder: get away.
Still havin' that nightmare about Ara. I wonder if tonight... will Koi be in it too now?
-
I've been patchin' things back together as best I can. I'm the most visible Sword in Hadrian, so have been lookin' and calling for new recruits. Found a few prospects. Wul suddenly returned from leave too, and jumped right back in t'the fray.
I actually found a new recruit. There's been this pretty half-elf lass staying in the Harvest Moon charity house lately. Most of the poor souls just get a meal, have a kip, then bunk off. We often never see 'em again. But this lass Teuivae stuck around, and actually got t'helping us, sweeping the floors, ladling out soup and so on. I spotted her practicing swordplay a few times when the place was quiet, and could tell she knew what she was doin'.
She'd mentioned bein' a Selunite and was obviously devout, so I took her to the Abbey o' the Moon. I swear upon the Golden God, when Teuviae looked upon the Statue of Selune she sparkled with some white, silvery light. I took it as a sign, and gave her the squire's test. Her results were very good... so we've taken her in. She's good with a sword, but it's her insight that's been impressin' me most.
Both our recent squires seem t'get along well and have their own virtues. Wulvarax is zealous, confident and proactive. Teuivae is thoughtful, humble and kind. They both have the makings of good knights, in their own unique ways. At least... I think so. Still not quite a knight m'self, after all.
-
Squire Teuivae's been such a blessing. Her kindness and humility have inspired me in the aftermath o' Koi's death. We had a long talk tonight, I showed her some o' my old kit, an' I felt like we were on the same page. She tol' me I looked like an angel in my old Amaunatorian armour. Then she had t'head off with Wulvarax to finish off a mission. Wulvarax has come back from his leave much more focussed an' pragmatic.
But the nightmare was back again once I lay down, and I woke up in the wee hours. I lay there wonderin' about some things... was I handlin' them the way Father McIvor would want? Or indeed, Amaunator himself? Sherina and "Pattie", training the squires, mercy-killing Arariel, my investigation into Koi's death, being the Swords' council rep, this thing with Teuivae, Menner… was I doin' any of these things remotely right? Or was I banjaxing everything like a moran? I had a bad dose o' doubt and couldn't get back t'sleep. I stumbled out o' my room and went upstairs t'the battlements.
I kneeled on the flagstones, lookin' up and prayin' to the Golden God for some guidance. The night sky was turnin' orange from the looming dawn, which only the clouds seemed to be holdin' back. A single ray o' sunlight sliced through the clouds and fell upon m'face. My skin began to glow... so hot and bright that it itched. My scalp stung, as if my hair was aflame. The clouds parted and the sunlight cuttin' through them was so bright I had to close m'eyes. Then I heard a metallic clang on the flagstones b'fore me.
I opened my eyes, and I knew I was on the right path...
-
I 'ave found my place in the Swords, the true reason I was drawn here. I am to be the finisher o' unfinished business. I spend much time each day siftin' through old records in the Keep, piecing together old events, actions and words. From there, I try to find the next step that needs to be taken. It's not easy... I'm reading the reports of former Swords, some fallen heroes, some disgraced discharges. I feel a twinge o' familiarity every time I see Koi's handwriting. And there was a lass named Lilana Feynolds who reminds me a bit o' Teuivae in her tone.
Teuivae… I could never 'ave guessed that I'd become so close to that half-elf lass who quietly came in to Harvest Moon one day. I've never met anyone so incredibly patient, tolerant and just plain loving as that girl. Even when she's angry it's not petty, it's because she can't right some wrong. We share that quakin' rage at unfairness... it comes from the blood. She's still learnin' to control the feelings it causes. I've known my blood from the start, and even I'm prone to throwin' shapes due to it. Must be so hard for her. We're so blessed to 'ave each other on this journey, we seem t'calm one another.
Wulvarax has been busy smitin' undead around Southbank, I hear. I think he's ready to step it up. I have somethin' in mind for him, and he'll love it. Never seen nobody else enjoy banjaxing a walkin' corpse to bits as much as that boyo does. I wonder what it is that drives him so fervently? Is it a blood thing with 'im too? Or did some undead hurt or kill someone important to him?
I visited the Church o' Amaunator today. I'm lost f'words...I caused this. I didn't mean to, but somethin' I did started this chain o' unwanted events, as I seem to be deadly good at doin'. He said that as long as I'd learned something from it, it was all right... and I have. But it doesn't seem enough for the cost.
-
M'boyo Shi Lei gave me a dreamcatcher made from Arariel's feathers a few weeks past after he saw me wake up howlin' from a nightmare. It seems t'have helped, at least up til the past few days. But I don't dare sleep without it nearby in case that makes the dream even worse. I've gotten used t'the lack o' sleep at least. Not takin' a kip when people are talkin' to me. Still, I have t'get this sorted out. Teuivae's dreams too. At least hers are pleasant, if persistent, for the most part.
I had t'kill a man just a few days ago. A Sharran assassin, who'd harassed our friend Syclya. The silly dosser wouldn't surrender and resisted arrest. I didn't want or mean t'kill him, I wanted t'just knock him out. But I hit him too hard. I took him to the Church to have him raised. But when the priests found his Sharran amulet and tools o' the trade, they preferred he stay dead.
At long last I've made some progress on Mary's case. Maybe...just maybe... we're nearin' a resolution. I hope so, we all need a win here.
-
These nightmares I've been havin' about Ara... I had them all wrong. I had thought she was trapped in the fugue plane because it was me, a kinswoman, who struck her down. Or that it was the oath she swore to Achanatyr, due t' my actions in the "Pattie" case. Either way, I knew it was my fault. If I ever saw her again... I planned to beg her forgiveness.
But she wasn't there at all... she'd created a personal hell for herself. A twisted version of Moon Glow Keep, peopled by horrid things that were the Swords as she saw them. And when I finally found her spirit... it was her begging me for forgiveness, and not believin' I was even still alive. She'd seen me die over and over in that awful place she made.
She's free now, though... we forgave each other, and I showed her that in Teuivae lay the path to redemption f'both of us. It was a collective effort, but. She drew Moose and Lysander into that pocket hell too, and they helped ensure no fiends were able to snatch her spirit while we lead her back home to Mount Celestia.
The experience changed us all... Teuivae the most profoundly. But I think I can sense some changes brewin' in the Swords, too. The Jergalites had been driven out o' the Keep once upon a time, and yet a Jergalite still stood by us t'do the right thing. And Moose... we all saw there was a wee bit more to him than there seems.
As for me... the nightmares are gone. I had my first proper night o' sleep in many weeks.
-
Sometimes I worry that all I know how to do is cause death. Either with my own hands, or just by association. Trinra is dead. I swore no harm would come t'her, and I failed her.
I asked her t'help me find out why the drow insist on campin' right beneath the Abbey o' the Moon. It concerned me havin' a slave market that close to a site o' pilgrims and priests, and me regularly goin' down there to chase them off wasn't having a lasting impact. Trinra asked me to show her where the camp was, and she'd try to talk t'them and find out why they chose that spot. And then maybe we could convince them to bunk off. She suggested I wait above, in case my presence angered them.
I waited nervously... prayin' that she was safe, and wonderin' if I should storm down there. Then... her bloodied, freshly severed head flew from the breach in the wall to land near where I was kneelin'. Those feckin' barbarians murdered her. I charged down like an eejit, ready to carve 'em all up, but they'd locked the gates and manned the camp with their best. They refused to hand over the rest o' her remains, said they'd fed her to the hounds. I could only retreat, and tell those who knew her the bad news.
I never thought I'd ever shed tears for a drow. But today, I did. She was so brave... brave enough t'walk the streets o' a human city, and brave enough to face her kin on my behalf. Right to the end, she was tryin' to help folk who distrusted her because o' what she was.
We buried her on the grounds o' the Abbey, for her last act was an effort to help it. Lysander performed the last rites. Shi was so angry, wantin' immediate vengeance, as is his way. Teuivae was just... immensely sad. Things have changed between us, but today... with both o' us in grief... it didn't matter. We were there for each other. Mayor Wren came along too... but why, I wonder? She didn't seem t'care much. Just watched the whole thing with silence. I met with Meleghost later to give him the bad news too. Oddly... he and I actually found some common ground for a change.
And now... Trinra Damaiv, a brave soul, the best drow I could ever hope t'meet… is just a name to remember and another face t'haunt my dreams.
-
I closed m'eyes last night, well knowin' there was no escapin' a dream about what happened. It took forever to doze off, since I was dreading a return t'the dreams I used to have about Arariel.
But it wasn't like that... I dreamed I was kneeling on the flagstones on the roof o' the Keep, eyes closed and praying for the strength I knew I would need to avenge Trinra. I heard the clanking o' armoured feet before me, and looked up t'see a great knight, clad in gleaming golden armour. He took a deep breath to speak, and I instinctively flinched, expectin' a mighty booming voice which could well toss me off the roof with its power.
Instead, it was the creaky but warm voice o' my mentor, Father McIvor.
"We talked about this Nessie. You swore to me you'd never pursue revenge. It is an emotional reaction. It is NOT a valid motive for violence. You know this. You are better than this. So stop."
Baffled, I said "Dah, what d'you expect me t'do? I'm not like Teuivae, I can't just forgive them and move on. They murdered someone under my protection! I was going to redeem her! We were going to become friends!"
"Tsk Nessie, all this emotion! No, not forgiveness. Not revenge. Punishment. That is your duty. We both dream of a day when all are equally subject to the holy law... whether peasant, king, arcanist, dwarf, orc or even drow. But you cannot fairly administer punishment if you are consumed with rage, grief and hate. Get your head together, Nessie! Then administer the appropriate punishments for the death of your ward, your lost future hopes, and the damage to your honour. And do it with as much pitiless harshness or merciful restraint your clear mind deems necessary. This is the Way, this is the Law."
I nodded, and was still noddin' in bed when I awoke.
-
Misguided. Dishonourable. Unworthy. He didn't say the words, but he didn't need to. The look in his eyes tol' me what he felt. No longer worthy to wield a blade in his stead. No longer worthy t'be his friend.
Unworthy. I sat up in my room last night, thinkin' that over, and about how alone I was, with just fellow Swords as friends and a few fellow social outcasts for allies. Even Teuivae has left now, unable to tolerate the impurities and compromises o' livin' in these lands.
I don't know how long she had been watchin' me and listenin' to my thoughts. But at some point, she tired o' hearin' my internal self-pity and the words she spoke right t'my mind silenced me.
"I am sorry. But it is true. You were not worthy of that blade, aasimar."
Even inside my head, the voice was deep yet feminine, booming yet reassuring, and intimidating yet inspiring. The solar stood in my room, her head almost touchin' the ceiling. In her hands was the most exquisite weapon I'd ever lain my humble peepers upon, wrought o' celestial silver and steel and engraved with my name.
"However, Arariel has deemed you worthy of this one. You and her furiously disagreed, to the very end of her mortal life... but you did not ever forget her and still hold her name dear and honour her memory. Unlike some others. Then you and your friends risked your very souls to bring her home to us. So she personally chose this for you to remember her by."
The solar leaned down and pressed the weapon into my dumbfounded hands. I cradled the sword like I would a wee child. My palms and forearms stung slightly where the edges o' the blade rested on them. But it was a warm pain, and it soothed the hurts o' my heart.
The solar abruptly vanished in a flash o' light. It took me some time b'fore I could even vaguely remember what I'd been so depressed about.
-
I have the last piece o' the puzzle and Mary's long ordeal will soon end. She has put immense trust in me, in a time when so many see me as a villain. I've made a lot o' mistakes. Not this time.
I will not let her down. My promise to Mary will be kept, the Swords' promise to her will be kept, a monstrous evil which has made the mightiest heroes quake in fear will suffer defeasance, and the people will see what the Swords are truly capable of. Watch over me, Arariel. I'm goin' to make you proud, sis.
-
Sir Arthur Boteler has returned from a leave o' absence this past week, accompanied by his long-servin' dwarf squire Sturdy Ragefist. The last time I saw Sir Arthur I was a squire to Koi and but a few weeks in to m' service. Their return has given the collective efforts against our foe Menner a substantial boost, for Sir Arthur has more personal investment in Menner's defeat than near anyone else. Though even his and Sturdy's presence couldn't stop us all from gettin' our coits kicked by a pack o' assassin monks. They must have just been paid to teach us a lesson, not kill us, for they left us knocked senseless on the ground and hurried on.
I'm no longer the senior Sword regularly in Hadrian, and am now takin' orders from Sir Arthur when we're negotiating or out in the field. That's all right, he's got the gift of the gab and knows what he's doin', though naturally I've had to update him on some matters. What's gettin' to me is how well liked he is... fair play, he's a thoroughly decent fella and a shinin' example o' knighthood. But all these people who've been shunnin' me right from the start are now eager to work with the Swords again.
All this time I've been feelin' that people hated the Swords and what they stand for. But maybe... they just hated me?
-
The expected vote in Council came up, and I voted on the issue in front o' me. Lots o' folk don't understand why I voted the way I did, primarily Wren and Shi, though that is t' be expected I s'pose. I explained my reasons t'both of them afterwards, but I don't think they understood. They find it easier to believe I was threatened or blackmailed. The people are angry that their elected mayor was ousted, but they will have a chance to fix that very soon should they wish it. I offered to Wren that I would resign from council in favour o' another Sword should she be re-elected, but oddly she didn't seem t'want that.
I'm not sure Meleghost or Oscar really understood my reasons either. Even I'm feelin' horribly conflicted about it all. Shi, Wren, Lysander... they probably think I'm delira and excira, but I'm really not. It's times like this I wish I could go get langers.
Sir Arthur isn't well. Some allies tried to get him on the mend, and it seems t' have backfired badly. We really need him on deck to face Menner. He's all but leading our efforts there. The One has fallen t' me, and the final confrontation with him draws near. I've finally secured some help there, at least.
There is also a challenge I 'ave learnt I must take as my next step towards knighthood. I had hoped t'do it today, but Moose and Belorfin grabbed me by the hands and dragged me off on a "Mooseventure". Extra-planar monsters, undead pirates. At one stage, I was faced by several unusually nasty zombies. I've been feeling like I've just made a right haymes o' everything lately. It was only as Adellum carved through them and clotted blood and fragments o' flesh and bone spattered my helmet that I felt some measure o' peace.
-
At long last the dark master of the Wonbrie Woods, the One, has fallen. So many, Swords and others, have tried and failed to defeat the fell spirit or simply given up, but m'self and my allies have finally succeeded in banjaxing him. Fjord and Aardyn proved they were more than worthy o' all the praise I 'ave heard about their prowess and trustworthiness. In Dame Averil's words, "it is done."
But at what cost? Those words were the last the Dame has spoken. What did the One do to her, and can it be reversed? And poor Mary... I utterly failed both o' the promises I made her. I don't know if there is anythin' I can do to help her now. I feel a right moran about that. I was so focused on bearing the burden o' that accursed sword that I didn't consider that maybe I wasn't the right person to do it.
The Keep is my home. But I have a sanctuary I visit. Amaunator is ever my patron but it is the goddess he shares this place with I feel watchin' over me at times like this.
-
Sir Arthur felt his health was in irreversible decline and there was no time t' find a cure. He told me over dinner that he had made the decision to sacrifice himself to close the abyssal portal in the snowy peaks. Though our mission was apparently successful, a few o' us felt that not all was quite what it seemed. Sir Arthur's body was snatched away, I have this horrible feelin' that I will see it again some day, and the circumstances will not be pleasant. But what is, o' late?
He was a good man, the nice knight that everyone liked and that made him starkly different t'me. When I was a squire he reassured me after my disastrous first outing with Koi where I was petrified by a stone giant shaman. He told me I was special and in his last words, left me the mission o' rebuilding the Swords and makin' them stronger than before. Only Koi had a bigger influence on me in my early days as a Sword.
A knight-errant by the name o' Sarah Astley has returned to Moon Glow Keep from another deployment. She joined in Sir Arthur's last hurrah. She is oddly enough, not a warrior, but nevertheless carries herself like any aspirin' knight. Already she's showin' some initiative in our strategic situation and also looks t' have recruited a squire. This is grand, because most o' my allies outside o' the Swords have moved on. Arcanist Meleghost, as often a rival as an ally, has been reassigned by his guild. Fjord and Aardyn said they're done riskin' their hides after helpin' me defeat the One. And that weird wee shite Moose has plain vanished. Still got m'boyo Oscar, but my comrades in the Swords remain my true family.
Several people been askin' if I'm copin' all right with Sir Arthur's passing. But honestly... I've lost so many people close t' me o' late. Arariel, Koi, Mary, Trinra, all dead. Teuivae, Wulvarax, Lycaria, Fjord, Aardyn, Meleghost, Moose... just gone. Things are so awkward with Shi Lei some days he may as well be gone too. So I've been feelin' distant now, and I knew days ahead what Sir Arthur was planning. It was sad, but I had already made my peace with it. Still. Watching him die was... hard.
-
My fears were confirmed. Sir Arthur walks again, as a shadow o' his old self. Literally perhaps. I am still grapplin' about how to handle this situation. Deep down, I expected somethin' like this, but never figured out what I would actually do 'bout it. Well, I do have one plan but it's unlikely to be approved. Like most o' my plans I just pulled it out o' my coit.
As if that weren't concernin' enough, Wren's been horribly murdered. I personally thought her unfit for public service, but gods, I never wanted to see her hurt or dead. And I'm sad that our last interaction was the pair o' us squabblin' over some stupid book, which doesn't even matter anymore. Shi and Astley are both blamin' Sjach for her death. I did warn Wren that allowin' a shadow half-dragon into town without any sort o' oversight was a dosser's act, and her own head would be upon it some day. But feck me, it's not like I wanted to see that happen. Nor is there anything other than circumstance linkin' Sjach to this murder. We can only await the result o' the official investigation.
Knight-Errant Astley has gone walkabouts with Squire Astariel by the look o' things. Casualties, defections, folks going away without leave... we're gettin' thin on the ground here. I miss havin' a squire, someone to bounce all my fool ideas off. But lawdy I seem to have done a shite job trainin' them. None o' mine ever stick around.
There is some good news, but. I had a date with a fella! Quite an amazin' man, who I only met by chance. Perfect skin like dark chocolate, eyes and teeth white like linen, and a voice that makes me tingle all over! What a bloody fine thing he is. And he wants to see me again! ME!
-
There's a new half-celestial 'bout these parts. A monastic, this one, and unlike Arariel and Teuivae he doesn't seem obsessed with gettin' into my knickers. He knew my name, oddly enough... said he'd heard about what I'd done for Ara after her death. Even called me a hero! Took me a whiles before I realised he wasn't slagging me, but meant what he said. I've been workin' with Tenshi these past few days, and we have some common goals. He reminds me a bit o' Moose. Same knack for findin' danger o' the most bizarre sort.
House Reschotti members have been wantin' my ear o' late about both personal and house matters. I'm helpin' where I can, although the Order's interests don't always coincide with those o' the Reschotti. Zahirra's in an awkward spot, and I sympathise with her. There's another one called Harlinger who Tenshi and I took along on a patrol. He acquitted himself well, and proved himself a good man to have at your side in battle... but there's somethin' strange 'bout him. And his sword.
But all this scribblin' is just a distraction. I need to cure the Dame. I don't know how the soddin' hell I'll do it, but I have to find a way. Bloody Astley picked a shite time t' walk out...
-
I met with Petyr again. It wasn't planned or nothin', Zahirra was just showin' me around her festival stalls when he strolled up to us. She continued the tour for both o' us. We sampled lots o' things, including some green paste dip that burned our mouths like acid. Apparently people eat that for fun where Zahirra comes from! Brutal.
Still, was a nice experience. Zahirra shared her dating woes (if you can call 'em that) with me... Sjach is back in the picture and she has Harlinger and one o' the elf brothers sweet on her too. Much easier f'me with just one... Petyr bought me a lovely talisman I was too skint to buy for m'self. Such a wonderful man! We got just a little bit more comfortable with each other's company, and I love that neither o' us have to put on any false airs and graces with each other. He's goin' to help with our Dame too. I've taken a risk putting such trust in him, and I pray that my judgement is sound. But this could be the breakthrough we need for her.
Zahirra hinted that the Skettus lads are being dossers and are up to somethin' seedy. I'd best check that out. I need to talk to Shi anyway, and see where his head's at. I know better than most how badly grief hits him.
-
A most majestic creature whose aid I desperately be needin' has given me a task with which to prove m'self. It sounds fairly straightforward, which is always a fair sign it's anythin' but. There is a lot ridin' on this, which is yet another forgotten and unfinished tale the Golden God has chosen me to finish. It's important to me personally, as well as to the region. I've lost almost all faith in the local court, and this is the only solution t'that I can see now. But if things go the way I hope it will change both me and the Swords profoundly. I may have t'go my own way if the Swords don't like what I propose.
I have no idea what t'expect in this hunt. The Blasphemer himself could await me. I'm not afraid o' anything. I confronted Menner and the One without flinching after all... but that does not make me invincible. I need help. There is only one person I know I can completely trust on this, and that is Tenshi. Fjord and Aardyn are gone. There are a few others I think I can trust, and a few outright dossers I can't risk being anywhere near this. Better to try and fail alongside the right people than succeed with those who will abuse a victory, I suppose.
-
At last, success be flowin' my way again. We completed the task the great dragon set for me: to bring back a steed he once in error gave to Dacethar the Blasphemer. Tenshi and Belorfin were the only people I felt I could completely trust, and they repaid that trust in spades.
The horse had taken up residence near a village called Bayfalls, which the fallen Knights o' the Eternal Flame had once ravaged. They saw my knightly livery and were immediately afraid. I did my best t'put them at ease, and told them the horse could obviously tell if I had come in good faith for not, since it could tell that Dacethar was a dosser and bucked him right off. We had to fight our way through a few packs o' orcs to find the horse, and I was grateful for the aid o' my allies. We found a portal that was spawning mist-swathed orcs, presumably from the depths o' the Great Mine. Belorfin destroyed it on the way back, but we all pondered who had put it there and why.
The horse accepted me, despite my doubts, and agreed t'let me ride it back to Bayfalls. They were saddened that the magic steed would be leaving their area, though I promised that we would return. Knights have treated those people terribly, and I must put that right somehow. Now I just await the dragon's return, and hope that he will agree to relight the Eternal Flame f'me. And then, I must take the next step to oul' Bresbane and hope he doesn't call me an eejit.
Speakin' o' dragons, I met a new half-dragon in Hadrian today. A silver one, name o' Alauriel. With her silver hair and winged silhouette for one moment I thought it was Teuivae standin' at the side o' the pond. Alauriel's got a very nice personality, fresh and positive. But she's got very little inklin' about her heritage, and seemed just a bit lost. She's workin' for House Reschotti, which seems a strange place for the progeny o' a metallic dragon. Perhaps my gold friend will have some advice 'bout what she can do.
I haven't seen Zahirra a few days. Been wantin' to talk to her about the bounty the Church placed upon her fella Sjach. She's probably right pissed at me for not just lettin' that matter die. As if I could. But Alauriel said Zahirra's really busy at the moment. Zahirra's always deadly busy, so I'm not sure if it's even possible for her to be more busy than normal. Maybe Zahirra's just got the shites with me and doesn't want t'see me no more?
-
The Eternal Flame burns once more! The elves o' Nualla'n and the great dragon honoured their words t'me and did as they said they would. Unfortunately my hopes that the other Swords o' Everlasting Light would share my inspiration in this moment did not come t'pass. It looks like defendin' this place will fall to me and my allies outside the Swords. What this means for my future in the Swords, I am not sure just yet.
I have heard rumours 'bout something stirrin' at the ruins o' the liche's enclave around the time the flame was relit. Perhaps Dacethar or his fallen fellows have awoken. If so, I imagine they will be comin' for me and the Flame soon. Tenshi will help me f'sure, maybe Belorfin and General Elanor too. Hard not t'think o' the many others I wish were still here to face the comin' tide with me... Fjord, Aardyn, Lycaria, Shi, Oscar, Teuivae, Moose, Koi, Arthur... and my comrades in the Swords.