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Public Notices / Re: Issues of the Conch Champion (For public reading)
« on: August 07, 2021, 12:57:12 pm »The Conch Champion. Independent & Accurate, Always
The Man-Bat of Conch: Monster, Urban Legend, or Sheer Fabrication?
One of the stranger stories one hears whilst walking the streets of Conch is that of "the Man-Bat". Depending on the source, one will hear that the Man-Bat is a monster, a mad-man, or a practical joker. What is clear is that these stories are confined to a narrow stretch of the Market District and always revolve around the Man-Bat making his lair in some unfortunate's basement. Some poor deluded souls even become fans or acolytes of this legendary creature.
The usual question discussed when locals speak of the Man-Bat is simple- is he real, or simply folklore? I however, postulate a different origin to this creature. An unnamed source has told me that the Man-Bat is a sick practical joke created by the more deranged adventurers of this town. This source told me that adventurers have been capturing some bats and turning them loose in basements, then having one of their own dress up like a humanoid bat to scare the owner. Then, the adventurer's cronies arrive and drive off the Man-Bat and claim a fee for their service.
While no physical evidence was provided for this shocking claim it seems all too plausible to me. It causes me to wonder too if adventurers are responsible for other nuisance problems we find in Conch, such as livestock mysteriously getting free and swarms of insects infesting homes. Naturally, these problems also require a "generous adventurer" to resolve them! People of Conch, next time you find yourself faced with some irritating or recurring problem ask yourselves "could an adventurer have caused this?"
-G. Morton, Editor
Nebular Students Go Wild!
It is apparent that this year's class of Nebular students is the wildest yet. The Conch Champion has received numerous reports, tipoffs and complaints about new Nebular students indulging in all sorts of misbehaviour. Grievances this newspaper have heard include street fights in the slums, roughing up a member of House Mistari, stirring up racial tensions and even stealing credit for each other's work. Clearly the Masters of Nebular will have a harder semester than usual keeping their more unruly students in check.
-S. Hellsworth, Reporter
Rampant Misuse of Magical Proclamations
Proclaimer Jason has directly complained to the Conch Champion about his services being misused by residents of Conch. "Magical proclaimers are a vital and respected profession in the lands of Netheril," he said. "It insults me and my trade when my skills are used to send nonsensical gibberish, threats and trash-talk after street brawls!" Jason's suggestion is that offenders take their squabbles to the arena and settle their differences there. Nevertheless, he assures the Champion that he is a professional and will continue (if sometimes grudgingly) to send any proclamation if hired to do so.
- A.Nutt, Reporter
United in Death
The Solemn Mourners of Conch, a funeral service in West Conch, have welcomed calls for a more grand and secure temple to Jergal to be established in our city. Mortician Kurt Totenstarre said "my organisation feels a deep connection to the Church of Jergal. We share many of the same duties and my employees and I make regular contributions, both financial and volunteer work, to the Church." While death is rarely a welcome visitor to most households, we in Conch are blessed to have two fine organisations working so well together in this grim industry.
- P. Krellin, Reporter