In Character > Journals & Backgrounds

Sherina Tsirak - The Spellmaiden

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Ritu:
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Tulips, Flames and the Blade

#18
The sun was scorching hot, and the farms were bright, everything lit up with the direct, noon sunlight. I wiped my forehead as I straightened my back up from the planting, only to see him approach. My love, in his traditional farming clothing. His vest neatly tied, his wide and loving smile shone just as brightly as the sun, for me. He brought me a flask of water, let me have a drink, and then we kissed. The taste of his made my heart flutter, as many times before, as it will many times again. His large, rough hand, usually wielding the Silver Star towershield, gently stroke my cheek as our lips got separated, my cheeks blushed from work and affection.
„Come, Silver, let’s rest for a while,“ he bid me, and I followed. My hand in his he guided me under the young tree amidst the sunbasked fields. We sat down into the small shade provided by its rich leafy crown, adorned with few sparrow nests. I leant against him, and closed my eyes with a deep, content, relaxed exhale. My love, my everlasting shield.
I could feel his arms envelop me, the arms that could strike, protect and love. All of love, and all of affection, could be felt in each of his gaze towards me. I returned the gaze with the same feelings, knowing this is the man I am happily married to.

I fell into a peaceful warm nap, as I heard his heartbeat, and
the wind that shakes the barley.

Spoiler...

I tap my hand against the flat surface.
Bed.
Soft bed.
I opened my eyes, gazing at the stone ceiling. My smile fades as I realise.

Though, I held something in my hand, I looked over... Cashand. His bone hand in mine, and his eyes glued to me, warm smile on his lips: „You were smiling, I didn’t want to disturb you.“
A smile has returned to my face, slightly sad this time, as I snuggled to him for the rest of the morning. This time he was warming me, comforting my heart, as few tears rolled down my cheeks.



#19
Fully focused on preparations for the farming festival, I've been scurrying about in the areas around Hadrian, seeking seeds. Smiling wide, I found a patch of blue tulips, harvesting few of them for my dear love's memorial.
What caught me unprepared was the group of bandits, marching in a small group towards the northern mines and farms. Being torn out of my calm afternoon, I felt the surge of warm air raise my hair, unleashing lashes of fire on the group.
Being stronger than they seemed, even despite my strain I didn't manage to take out their leader, who then ran back towards the Hilltop path.
SpoilerI shrouded myself, bending shadows and light, becoming invisible.
And followed.
What happened afterwards... it might have been a mistake or a virtue, but I spared his life and the lives of his comrades, rushing back to Hadrian with the news and pleads for help.
Besides the guards who've fortunately come to guard the north, from heaps of people and adventurers, only the sweet Shi Lei came. The same man who've helped me collect meat for the upcoming feast on the Farming Workshop.

Doing our best, both of us tried and did our best, but Shi went head-on into the huge bandit camp ahead. In an effort to help him, I stood by his side, holding against something I will never be able to defeat.
And as could be expected, even though I expected death...

We were captured.


...


I woke up, bound to a metal pole on the wall, with a heavy collar on my neck. I heard a shuffle right of me, looking up and sideways I saw Shi Lei, bound to the pole as well, though not bearing any signs of a collar. Must have something to do with my magic. Both of us were stripped off our weapons, but for some reason, they haven't taken my helmet. That left me a slight advantage in that which followed - questioning with an overconfident mage
We were questioned, and due to a slip of a tongue which I hoped to give me the advantage of staying alive in case things turned out for the worst, I've been educated that sorcerers have 'precious blood', valued highly as an ingredient.
Just before the mage left to get his superior, a lower baatezu has been summoned to guard us alongside a mountain giant, carrying my spear!

Of course, the mage didn't leave without scarring my throat with the shock reaction of the collar to give an example. Surely to make me 'behave' better for what is to come.
Shi and I attacked after I used deception, as Ash suggested me doing long ago, to hand Shi my spell wands for the battle, and as soon as things started to look vad, I ran for the door just as he requested, turning invisible thanks to the wand I had. Glad I kept so many if them, for they have saved my life that day.
But not the lives of bandits.
Then again, their choice.



"Everyone will underestimate you. Even I did. Use it."
                                        - Ashram Aardyn



I climbed over a wall, slid into wild dog kennels, and defeated an elite guard in a close combat. Taking a look at my wounds, shaking limbs and ragged breath, I knew I don't have much time left to escape. Only visible route forward seemed to be a narrow, thorny path leading besides and through the stream. I was unable to see anything under the thick canopy of trees, getting cuts from stones in the water as I crawled, dragging the spear behind me. Dizzy, I lost the ground -

Tumbling down the rocky waterfall at the end of the stream, I gasped for the breath above the water. Who stood nearby was Fjord, watching me struggle, as I tried to stand up, bloodied and battered, with only the spear in my shaky arms to help.
Good thing us, he did not behead me right at the spot, and even, though after triggering one strong spark of the antimagic collar, managed to unlock it.
Using my spear as a crutch, I waddled and limped behind him, desperately trying to not lose a pace. Pushing through, step by step.
Almost in company, but alone, leaving a dripping trail for the carnivores to follow.
I blacked out.



#20
Sure, of course!
Days have passed, I recovered to the point I can make a difference, yet I'm still unable to find people to stand by my side in order to rescue Shi Lei! Such a good man, deserves something far better than being held by bandits! But of course, again, excuses and booze have more value than life and the only race people participate in is the race of worthlessness with as much pleb style as possible.
I'll stay silent.
Everything comes around.

SpoilerNow let's focus on the upcoming event... people need some relief. And to be honest, I need one too.

What needed dealing with today, besides discussing further things with mr. Browne and seeking instructors, was - Morgaine.
There's been an uproar on the street, at the estate housing the refugees. I stepped in to learn more about the situation, with Morgaine by my side. Though, as soon as the citizens stopped fighting and were willing to listen and calmly discuss the core problem, she summoned a damned Cinderscale into the crowd, triggering chaos and panic.
What brought her to this I don't know, but it is surely a way to lose respect and trust as a figure of peace and order in the town. Cashand and I then had to lie in order to comfort her, she's still the mayor and people need her in a good shape.
Afterwards, the three of us went to the festival grounds where I proposed changes to house refugees there. Of course, Morgaine's only contribution was a thought to ask Devlan about the chapel key, while Cashand helped me polish some of the ideas. We had to think of the changes for the sake of refugees, and only thing she's talking about was how Cashand won an archery competition and how she got drunk on a festival day.

Strangely enough, the two of them agreed with Johaness' idea, which is me running for mayor. Both of them seemed happy about the idea, but not so much after I declined the idea and position.
I wouldn't be able to bear politics. I'm a good advisor, true, but I highly doubt my skills as a mayor. Though, there's no one else capable with good ideas than Darius... but he needs to sort himself out first. I won't run, and will stay hoping he will make it in time.
Otherwise, I don't know who may bring order to Hadrian. Perhaps a suitable candidate might appear at the last moment...


...


I came home, and discovered, that Ash was right once again.

I’ve learned to love my reflection in the mirror, always accompanied for a split second by a visage of Michael. My loving, ever-steadfast iron wall. It is true that now I feel happier, calmer, more free and more appreciated, less divided from others including my friends... But there is just something about that love that keeps me loving him further. And that will never go away, just like Ashes love for his dear, loved Lyra. He told me more than several bits about her, I’m happy he shares such. I can imagine how fair and lovely she was, and I see how she could love him.

This bond Ash and I share... It is so fascinating for a reason I am unable to put into words.
Both of us have lost the same thing, and found the same thing.

I’ve visited Michael’s grave today, as I do every day. I wasn’t able to do so for almost a week, oh how I missed the little spot. Just like in times he was alive, the place is my anchor in life, the place I come to find peace at. And a company, though my dearest is long gone.
How hard to believe so... There’s so much we haven’t done together.
All the things that could have been.

I brought him a white tulip to make up for my absence and talked to his gravestone, cleansing myself of the frustration and hopelesness of the past days.
Finding peace, as if distantly in his arms.

Ritu:

Lily of the Valley

#21
After giving a few days purely to myself, my mood got far better. Which resulted in having fun with Uldur, Ara and Johannes, all while being invisible and having Uldur to play along with the act. A little lighter moment of a day, among these heavy clouds.
SpoilerArariel’s bow skills are getting better, shooting with grace and deadly precision. I helped them with a task, raining fire upon a huge lake serpent while they all stayed out of the deadly reach of my spells. It’s happening very few times, that people keep an eye on the spells on the battlefield. Nonetheless, it’s only more appreciated thanks to it.

Arariel also mentioned that Cashand and I would be helping her with creating a special bow out of her own wing tendons and other unique components, which I complied with. I’m sure we’ll be able to choose something else than her wingstrings, something even stronger and more durable. I need to discuss more with Cashand later, and the three of us should get together some time to create a viable plan for the enchanting and creating process.


Such meeting has indeed happened, as Cashand and Ara, each holding one of my hands, headed to my house to have a lunch at – of course, with me cooking. We had a lovingly relaxing time together, with good food, good laugh and bit of a fire sculpting magic and a gentleness among each other. And tomorrow’s... gonna be difficult.



#22
Running about Hadrian in a rushed finale of preparations, after announcing its happening and location again I met the person I’d expect the least to meet on this day – Darius!
The man happened to grow close to my heart, perhaps because I see someone in him, but more refined. He has potential, yet struggles to control himself – even more so ever since he turned his armor red. I continue to see the good in him, despite his bitterness and anger... that way, I get to catch him in his bright moments.
SpoilerHe seems to feel close to me as well, finding peace, comfort and a confidant.
I’m glad.

He offered his help with bringing meats and leathers for teaching people how to sure and treat each, which surely is appreciated and I hope he could perhaps stay and teach people a thing or two about hunting – given he’s going to feel up to it.


I told Cashand abotu it when I met him, his bruised self towering relaxedly with just another magic book next to the wine cart at the docks. Giving him a light cheek kiss to not cause pain, I softly told him of new things happening, and offered him to come with me for final preparations. He happily agreed to do so, as if it could be any other way... Him and I are certainly close in a special way.
There’s no one else I’d be gladly dissected by after I pass. I trust him fully.
Anyways, while I’m still alive I should get to what happened next.

Cashand and I, walking hand in hand, slowly approached the workshop grounds, passing several signs showing the direction towards the event itself. We both were smiling in expectation, and as the lit up, beautiful area emerged fully ahead of us, he squeezes my hand in contained pride, keeping his continuous calm. But I knew better, knowing the sides of him rarely anyone knows.
Despite his state, he insisted on helping me finish the preparations, to get it done quickly before the event starts. I sent him for shovels, shears and the like, all while planting countless plants to show off the bounty that can be gotten with a pinch of care and dedication, and stocking up the seeds barrel with all what I gathered earlier. I was faintly smiling the whole time, at times thinking of how Michael would feel, seeing me like this... organising a big thing for so mnay people, mainly on my own, for the sake of city, myself and people alike.
Even though some visual memories already faded, I can still recall his caring and proud smile, similar to the one Cashand’s lips bear every time I succeed at something. I’ve been blessed to have so many nice people in my life, so many to call my loves and friends. The difference at times being hard to tell, with me deeply loving everyone I truly care about wholeheartedly. Loving Michael, Darius, Cashand, Vivili... All love the same, yet different in each case. Depends on what they needed the most, and often times, all a troubled soul needs are open arms and an open heart.
Truly, the day I departed for Sullivans‘ changed my life for the best it could become.


With preparations being done, people have started to gather just as the instructors got to their stations, the leatherworker and I soon getting the pleasure of seeing my red-clad warrior carrying a mound of leathers and meats towards the festival gate arch. Being impatient to hug him, I helped however I could in quickly putting away the materials he brought, just for the friendship we share. I couldn’t help but smile, knowing he’s another person with a gentle and rightful heart I know that side of, even though just about anyone else seems pretty occupied with calling him names and assuming the worst. Perhaps I got fortunate, knowing the gentle and valor of him, of the man weighed down by Nuzu’s mark reacting with his own body.
And me being able to bring him calm is the best reward I could get for sticking by through all the things with him.

Johannes, Ash, Cashand, Morgaine, Bel, all of them were there, along with many attendees – some of them i recognised from the Harvest Moon ubications, and quite a fair number of them were regular citizens, bubbling with interest in the crafts of self-sufficiency.
I took upon myself the farming tutor role, organising the last bits after I caught up with instructors and pointed some of the newcomers to the craft station they were interested in.

Among many I had the pleasure to work with that day, one woman stood out. Her name being Lily, a woman who lost her home in Hadrian due to the devilish assault. Gently and caringly, I asked about some details on how to improve the situation, willing to do all what is in my power as a woman, spellmaiden and a sorceress to set things right once again.
Like I told Michael and others countless times, when they asked ‚why‘... Who else, if not I?

Lily and I remained working together for the rest of the day, learning plenty about each other and the farming alike. The spark in her eyes, the excitement of successfully planting something only to see it sprout up... Willingly or not, a huge smile appeared on my face, as I’ve seen this exact expression on a person I dearly love so many times before.
Actually, I even mentioned him on the event board, as a honorable mention for helping the city with food reserves, now being used to feed those in need, as well as for keeping me inspired and giving me the strength to make one more step after each step I take.

The workshop continued for two additional days, even with people from closer parts of the region coming to see the events and crafts, and participate in learning and discussion.
I’m the most glad.


...


During a break before starting the next day of lecturing, Darius and I spent several hours together. Talking at my home then taking a walk to Hadrian, he revealed to me the nature of his troubles and the plans he’s setting up. Later on we went to explore the basement section, of which I got the key of earlier by the leader crafter to give to whomever I see fit from the people attending the workshop. It seems even heads of some guilds are glad for such initiative, making me even happier about my decision to commit to such.
Either way, Darius and I ended up fallign through the sewer trapdoor that locked behind us. Not knowning how deep in the sewer labyrinth we are, we both shrouded ourselves in spells, I went as far as transforming into the swordbearing armor form.
Only to find out the way our was just behind the corner. We both laughed, and for the first time I can recall Darius has hugged me first, strongly, with eased and loud laughter ringing out of his helmet. One of the sweetest and most cherished moments of that day.

Ritu:

Following One's Dreams

#23
Recent days, I took a break from the world, a long needed one for sure. City is more-less stable, and there are plenty of others who are free to help as well, out if their own will, just like Uldur, Ash and I helped over the past week or two.

I really haven't feel like diving back into the vortex of chaos Hadrian became. So I thought of something that I wanted to do for a long, long time, left the people behind and ventured off. Close and far away, I walked, without notifying anyone. It's not like my 'guardians' would let me go alone.
SpoilerI walked to all the places Michael and I wanted to go to. To travel, see more of the world, visit old places and new.
Chasm, Nualla'n, Battlefields.
Abbey, Gillian River, Farms.
And many more.
New places and old, one by another. And then stay at Sullivans', as if trapped, and swimming in the things that have been, grieving in the serenity brought by the sunrays beaming through the leaves.
And I would never change it to be the other way. I will never forget, I can't ever forget. His smile, his voice, his heart. The arms that could hold me as easily as if I was a bunch of flowers, the careful touch, the contained passion, the dedication. Let out bit by bit, washing over me more and more, always considerate and yet so powerful and wild, nearing absolute overwhelm.
I look forward to sitting there again.
Now I must continue, or rather, want to.
To do another thing I wanted to do for about a long while - wyvern research.



#24
First time after a while, I'm camping in the wilds again. Being alone... Not easy, not nice, yet the only way things can be right now. I miss him.

SpoilerIt took me almost the entire next day to get to the Patrician Peaks, and rest of the evening to find a suitable spot for my several days of planned research. Avoiding some bears and stray bulettes, the ideal spot was found and a tiny camp set up. I've never actually thought that Endurance and Strength enchantments are going to be this useful to me personally, yet here I am, climbing and dragging equipment into the mountains. Not a day passes when I'm not grateful for my accidental skills, the gift and the tool.
I'm also getting better at certain controlling stuff and aspects of it, yet it will take a while to master my spell sculpting. Partly for making better enchantments with Cashand, partly for my own sense of accomplishment.
I wonder whether Michael would be proud of me. Heh, he would, certainly. Sweet iron shield.

I must say I'm truly glad, glad I've gone on this trip to travel to all the places we wanted to visit, even though it's not together. Yet I feel his company, even though I realise it's only in my memories. His soul is forever gone, after all.
And all that only due to anger and recklessness.
Morgaine was right. The time I won't be at his side might be the time he slips up again.
There was no helping it.
And won't ever be.
Again.

Now as I'm reflecting on the months past, I see several shapes in the dark. I should go to sleep shielded with an Invisibility spell.


*a dried mountain daisy marks the spot to resume writing*


Dear journal... this morning was among the most magical ones as of late. The early dawn exploded over the pale blue morning sky, spilling the streaks of color everywhere, staining the blue in a warm pink gradient. Seeing that, being there, breathing in the sharp, chilly mountain air, lightly smelling of ferns and dew.
They were there.
Gliding across the wide sky, unending in their dance of a morning habit, about six wyverns pounded the air with their wings, graceful yet bestial. Younger and older, some trying to snatch a rabbit, other, an adult, dragging a mountain lion. Feral grace, beautiful bloodshed.

I quickly pulled out the blank book I've gotten for this exact purpose, and started writing and sketching. My fingers stiff, yet I continued as my breath carried out one cloud after another, falling onto my chest and turning into a cascade of jewel-like drops.



#25
The notes and data are coming together, a symphony of sketches, paragraphs and smears. I should rewrite this at home, whether at my house or at Cashand's place. We still need to think and plan the changes for his mansion, and I believe having something to focus on might help my loved Arcanist as well.
SpoilerI know he's shielding me from any problems, grief and peril... But I fell the need to be at his side as well, whenever he might need it. Actually, this whole trip is happening only because his colds are getting manageable for him on his own.

I can't wait to- - -


Oh gods. What was the herb mixture Vivili kept making for me? Common Agrimony, petals of Calendula, Goldenrod... Damn, I wish I kept some alcohol on me for treatment of wounds. I gave all the aged brandy I found to Ash. I should carry some spirits in a small hip flask.


Two whole healing wands gone in order to patch myself up.
In short - a territorial wyvern female. I still need to clean my spear. With dire bears around, it's not wise to be clouded in a scent of blood.


I better move and return back. Thankfully, over the past days I managed to gather enough observations and information about these wonderfully wild creatures.
And my research can surely help Joriin and I raise the young wyvern we are planning on having.

I took the shortest route home, and plunged into a hot bath. And gave in to another round of memories, this time of a much warmer kind.
Then I heard a knock on the door, and seen a familiar, tired smile.

Ritu:
// since we have the essay spam holidays again I might as well sneak this in since I FINALLY got back to writing this abysmal thing I need to finish one way or another :P


Come and Go
#26
After taking a few days break to enjoy the comforts of a civilised life, my hellhound’s company and the warmth of the hearth, I filled my days with reading, lounging and bread-in-egg with parsley and similar tastiness, just to enjoy and treat myself while I look over the book draft and rewrite it into the final manuscript.
I disappeared without a trace - Ash reacted quite harshly, but being with him never felt the best… just like before, I felt like rowing a boat alone. Especially after losing a good friend - Darius.
So ending that chapter… is good.
SpoilerSays enough that I don’t miss a thing about it. It’s likely I just wanted to try to be a light for him, but he wants nothing of that.

On the evening of the third day, just as I was finishing the dough for an apple roll-pie, a familiar proclamation sounded - one of my most favourite ones. I wrapped up my work and let the dough sit, covered with a dishcloth.

———

Walking through the fresh late evening air in a special dress of blue and violet with upper-arm-high gloves, my lips were in a smile and I felt my impatience regarding meeting my best friend again beat within my chest. I know that if anyone will have understanding for my wyvern research work, it’s him.
Seeing me visibly surprised him, bringing a warm smile on his face and we shared a hug, like we always did every time we met - ever since I asked him whether he’d like one a long, long time ago.
I felt such rejoice of seeing him, the silvery eyes in the nightfall.

Cashand filled me in on the news from the latest weeks in the town. Seems the winged girl I took to the temple healer, Wren, has become a mayor of the town. Which also meant a tax increase and a definite end of my previous job in the service of Hadrian.
During our talk a young, blonde nobleman strolled by, approaching my mage to ask for his spells. While the Arcanist was preparing the spells needed, the man introduced himself to me politely and with a certain grace - Oscar Eisenhuth Montgomery lll, an enclave noble of a good family and heritage. Our conversation was short but fulfilling - people with good manners are rare, and as such highly appreciated, at least by us. It’s quite a rarity to see Enclave nobles acting this nice towards the ground-dwellers.
As we talked he smoothly took my hand into his, and chuckling, remarked that Oscar is likely as bad with other races as he is. I held the warm bones of his hand with gentleness, appreciating the gesture we shared more and more often.
I reached my hand to cup his cheek, feeling the stubble of his against my palm, that’s when he suggested going out to celebrate my return, and to help him get his mind off of the Guild stuff.


We ventured out to the Enclave, taking a walk around the lakes. Walking around hand in hand, we’ve been talking a bit about our plans - and as we crossed paths with a pegasus, Cashand commented that he’d like to have one someday… but also, that he’d taint it by the time anyways, as the pure little things they are. I took a step closer to him with a smirk and we joked for a small while. And then, another of our gentle moments, the ones when we simply thank each other for the good things and then move on, as if nothing happened after our sincere eye contact breaks. I’ve always felt such peace and thankfulness with him.
We went to sit down into the clean, lush grass at the side of the stream. 
But it wouldn’t be Cashand if he didn’t first make sure I’m alright with it -

“We don’t need a bench if you don’t mind the grass.”

I looked up at him with a slight chuckle and reminded him “You’re speaking with someone who loves farming and who has lived in a cave for a considerable while, why would I mind grass,” I finished with a wide smile, amused but glad of his caring nature.

He gave it a second of consideration “I don’t know, maybe you’re trying to turn fancy,” he commented with a cheeky grin of his own.

I couldn’t help but giggle - “For you? Perhaps I’d consider.”

Cashand leaned back against a boulder and I went to rest my back against him, sitting partially on his left thigh. On that he moved to rest his hand on my forearm, supporting me from the side. As we were watching the stream, greenery and sky, his grin gradually softened into a warm smile: “You know that I don’t care if you are fancy or not, I like you the way you are.”

Feeling the warmth from within, I thanked him and with a smile, I closed my eyes and went to relax fully against his chest, with the back of my head on his shoulder. I could hear his breath, the birds around and the bustle of the city, and the gentle undertone of the crystal clear stream of the park we were in. 
So it happened we spent some hours like this. The only changes were in the daylight, the ever-moving bees and butterflies tending to the flowers, and that I hugged him around the arm, bringing myself deeper into the feeling of safety. And a slight movement, and I felt his kiss on the top of my head with a warm breath out.
And we shared another thanks, as the sun has slowly started to set and the sky got colored in crimson and purple, like dripping watercolor on white fabric.




#27
I strolled down from the little sky palace through the portal towards the Mayor’s Office. I needed to talk with Wren, mainly regarding the rebuilds of the Harvest Moon Charity in order to add another storey and overall expand it more so it serves those in need better.
After a later meeting with Mannus about plans and having them adjusted and fixed, I went home only to find a letter from Neasa, stating her concern regarding Pattie’s presence by my side.
SpoilerWhat is concerning is, that previously even high-standing people like Chan and Morgaine were alright with her and she was treated as any other familiar… but now, things seem to be changing with the arising population of knights roaming about.
Cashand and I are both concerned. This could bring me to a sure death, and more than likely will, if Neasa will push it forward. Which, being a devout follower of a God of Law, she’s probably going to.
We’re going to try to get me a permit to own her - though obviously, as a free bloodcaster, this might probably hasten my way to the pyre.

After several brief errands I had to run, I met with my necromancer again and we went on a walk to clear our heads a bit. Our steps have lead us to the Crypts of Moander, where I’ve shown him the place Ash took me to few times - Cashand loved is just as much, and we spent a while there, before heading back home. The safety and warmth I feel the more noticeably the more time I spend with him is truly unique. I admit we likely -do- act like a couple already… but I don’t want to ruin what we have by trying for that.




#28
Seems while I was away Cashand made some changes in his palace, and being so trusting as we are, he was definitely excited to show me all of them. The spelltesting glyph circle in the lower main hall I noticed the other day already, but he hasn’t show me the rest up until this day.

He’s shown me various parts of the upper level of the estate - even though he didn’t tell it outright, judging by the nature of those changes it was to make the place cozier and more for two people than for a single one…

SpoilerAnd then, we got to see the study.
He was proud to announce and show with a wide gesture that he has put couches in there, so I can sit and read comfortably close to him while he does his work. But…

I watched the inner swirling of a perfectly round orb, stable on a little metal stand on the top shelf of his desk. Cashand noticed, quick to explain
“It’s something that can hold souls for a short while. Longer than a gem could.”
I felt a fragment of my smile fading and I nodded, my thoughts jumping to Nuzu and her soul gem trades with the 14th legion. With a little sting I felt at my heart, I leaned closer in order to squeeze his hand. The mage smiled back, though weakly. With a shadow of an apology and a great deal of regret in his eyes, and fear. Yet giving me the gentlest smile he could at that moment.
I got a hunch, and I needed to ask. Speaking quietly, nervous about the answer yet understanding.
“Sweetheart? Is this part of the things you are nervous about showing me?”
“I guess… yes it is some of the parts that I am nervous about showing you and telling you about.”

I see.

I brought my hand up to cup his cheek gently as his gaze drooped, our eyes breaking the contact.
“As I have said and still stand by, I am a horrible man inside and I do horrible things.”
I let my thumb gently stroke his cheekbone as he slowly spoke. Shortly after I brought his head lower, so he can lean his forehead against mine.
He closed his eyes and put his arms around me, wrapping me in a soft hug, dressed in his thick velvet suit.

Minutes have passed, and one of us had to cross that bridge.

“Do you feel like telling me?”
“Do you really want to know?” he asked gently, worried.
I pulled his head a tiny bit closer, our foreheads now pressed closer together. He gave me his understanding and support so many times before, if I fail to do the same now…
“And how else could it be?” I said warmly, though with a tightened throat.
Such unexpected warmth created a crack on his composure, which slowly fell in the safe privacy of the study, like the autumn leaves in a tempest.
His voice was shaky. “I don’t know. I just worry, as I know that… what I do is something a monster would do.”

The gentle vulnerability of his let my emotions out of their cage. I felt myself starting to shiver in the slight draft coming from the half-opened window towards the slit underneath the door.
He pulled me closer in the hug, soothing my heart with the feeling of security that’s become so familiar. He started to speak softly, with a slight shake in his voice. He spoke about how he uses souls to feed the mythal shard that is holding his island up in the sky. He spoke about how his servant always looks into the shard, because part of his soul was trapped there to give it power. Few tears rolled down his cheek as he kept talking. I held him in a tight hug, his hug on the contrary lightened, as if he didn’t want to keep me there in case I wanted to leave. He seemed like he knew I was going to leave.

But he never left my side, and I am not leaving his. I couldn’t held back the sobs I muffled in the decorative, frilled jabot of his shirt, but never for a moment I wanted to leave. He continued, trying to comfort me with back rubs and sincere words of apology choked on tears.
I took his hand into mine, intertwining our fingers.

He decided to continue.

Telling me all about the lives that fell in order to keep the island up, about the staff he had in the past which managed to twist him into something he was not entirely, about a battle and Celeb, my colleague in Morgaine’s mayoral guard…  He continued and I held onto him, hidden in his arms. This man has done things, but who has not - my flames and scorpios took more than a handful of lives, and no charity work and warmth can balance what’s already lost - nor anything can be done about it. Only to move on and try to be better than we were yesterday, which I see is possible both for him and for me.
Still sheltered by his embrace, I felt a gentle kiss on the top of my head.
“Are you okay?”
At first, I had no words. All have left me just like the pooled tears left my eyes to flow and drip down on the dark blue of the fabric. In the end, the only ones I found were the simple and true ones, the only words that mattered to me in this changing and crumbing world.
“I love being with you, Cashand.”

His rough fingers gave my cheek a rub, and he looked down into my eyes with as much warmth as ever.
- “I love being with you, Sherina. That’s why it was, so hard for me to talk about this, as I don’t want to ruin what we have.”
Poor soul, as if you ever could. I thanked him for his trust and openness, gently, while I snaked my hand down his arm to brush the back of his other hand briefly, only to move it back towards his shoulder to rest there.
“I hate hiding things from you. It was hard for me to do so as I didn’t want to hurt you or anything, as I love you and care a lot about you, and would most definitely hate myself if I hurt you in any way.”
This moment my eyes were glued to his and my heart pounded against my chest more than ever before. With the feeling of tightness on my chest, I breathed out:
“I love you too, Cashand. And I cannot imagine it being otherwise.”
And I know you cannot too.
You told me before.

It looked like he wanted to move in for something but he stopped, giving me a weak smile back with the silver of his eyes still on the tarn blue of mine.

Under these circumstances, doing what I wanted could either make our relationship crash or bloom. So shard by shard, by each gentle word that continued, I threw away all the boundaries I’ve learned to keep, I tilted my head upwards for my nose to brush against his tear-drenched cheek, took a breath

“I’m sorry, Cashand” I whispered out, right before my lips touched his, as lightly as a touch of moth’s wings. I felt my magic burn within me, and I knew he could feel that too. His breath and movement froze. Yet after a second, he gently returned the gesture.

And I couldn’t help but smile.



#29
The letters are sent and the only thing we can do is wait.
Death or a permit.

What happened the other day didn’t happen again, at least not yet. Though now we know a bit more about each other, and trust each other more than a bit more.

SpoilerMeeting of the Council became a meeting of the Hadrian Initiative since not a single councilor came. We’ve been discussing the mist and other problems of the region that need solution. Somehow, the one mostly speaking was I - likely due to being informed and having experience with certain things.
It was more of a habit to be helpful to them, to try to be among the ones fixing things around. But today, today the region and its people didn’t really matter. No one besides my pale master would stand up to support me against something. Others are just words, who would do it but only if it was on a 100% safe and comfortable for them. Which, let’s be honest, most of them would never bother. I’m lucky I have the heart of the Weave on my side to support me every second of the day.

But it wasn’t only about waiting this day.

Mayor Wren organised people to come and head to the scorched beaches of the fallen enclave - and into the very building I wanted to take a look into ever since I came here the first time, with Casper and Michael. Chan, Tanner, Raven and several others joined us and we descended deep, through the echoing halls and twisting corridors full of dust, dried bones and many, many footprints.
I traced out a silhouette into the air from memory, of a red reaver scorpion and it materialised, guarding me along with my magic shields. I can’t do as much as wizards can, but I won’t stay behind too much here. This is where the mist cult’s traces lead to, and we can finally end it here and now.

We battled through numerous cultists, undead pawns and mutated beasts, at times being almost overrun when they managed to get us pinned in their familiar environment, until we came into what seemed to be the lowest hall of the underground maze.
After the worst was over, I saw the skull again. The same skull that axe-swinging idiot used to taint all the lands he possibly could.
Looking back at all of it, I can really thank Nuzu. Every minute felt like a fight and a ballet amids sharp eggshells, and now after some time has passed, I feel more confident, safe, and have finally time for myself. I hate when my kindness gets the best of me and blinds me, but at the same time I love bringing at least the bit of the light I can.
Chan picked the skull up, and his head tilted oddly as his helm’s visor stayed turned towards the skull, motionless. I couldn’t breathe. To my relief he then moved and secured it in the enchanted satchel House Skettus provided.
Hand in hand, the Arcanist and I left the crypts, leaving others to do whatever they want.
We need to think of what to do in order to get rid of the lingering mists.

Though, first, -I- needed to have something to defend myself with for when another fight comes. And so it happens I got an idea for a project not long ago, a light crossbow made of the giant thunder lizard bones with a lightning enchantment drawing power directly from a golem heart. And soaking the bones in a good quality potion could add to my nimbleness and better aim as well, hopefully.

Our way has taken us to the Isle of Sauros, a home of many lizardfolk tribes, most of them hostile and each of them raiding the other tribes every once in a while. Thick vines and giant ferns towered from the undergrowth, lianas climbing the ancient trees in a web-like pattern, with real, giant spiderwebs among the distant forest canopy.
The few buildings that are there have been punished by the jungle’s humidity long ago, the logs and roofs rotting away slowly and patiently in the land where traditions never change and blood flows just as much as water.

Vested in our spells with summons be our side, we treaded through the thick greenery, sometimes finding improvised paths that eased up the travel on us. We didn’t have an exact destination in mind, though in the low river bank, there have often been thunder lizards to be found, breathing their volts up at people crossing the plank bridge up above.

Being ready for this exact welcome we drew closer as we walked. I kept my left arm shrouded in my spellflame, ready, with the spear in my other hand. Cashand has managed to maintain his regal posture and step, though the wariness reflected in the small lines on his face and the flicking eyes.

A while after we found our way to a stone wall section and followed it. And just behind the bend was a scouting unit and, to our luck, one lizard of the species we were looking for.
Their hissy battle shouts sounded out as one of their crossbowmen spotted us, firing the first bolt. In a flood of adrenaline that hit after the bolt chipped away on my living stone armor I pulled the Weave and threw blazing spears, homed to the target by my focus and will to live. Cashand’s undead started holding off the melee warriors in the meantime and I commanded my scorpion to join it, while we disposed of the rest. The electric teal, serpentine body of the lizard started advancing to us with a feral elegance -
And it was over.

We took a minute to catch our breath, before we went to process the giant lizard’s corpse, salvaging for the materials needed. Despite my care, the hard scales caused my blade to slide into my thigh in a jolt of pain as we were almost finished. The sharp inbreath and instinctive arch of the back have alerted the Arcanist, who immediately went to sit me down and treat the wound with the utmost care - decided to finish the job himself, he asked me to rest while he does so.
It’s not rare that I feel like a burden, yet everyone feels like that once in a while. Things happen, and the people who are true and close to you won’t let you down, even when the life itself will.

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